Tag Archives: Edward de Vere

NFL17: Draft Dogs and Pony Show to Exhibit at Philadelphia Museum of Art

21 Apr

Gotta’ hand it to the curators of the upcoming 2017 NFL Draft, they can spin friggin’ straw into freakin’ gold, holy Rumpelstiltskin!

With a player product possessing of such a high degree of uncertainty as do most college draftees, the Cufflinks have done a splendid job in persuading media conglomerate (Disney / Comcast / NA / Fox / TW) that draft days (4.27 – 29) are “must see TV” and the plethora of fluctuating mockery (pre-draft boards) that precede ‘em are required homework for every fantasy follower.

Within this year’s mildly-anticipated draft will quite possibly be a future Hall-of-Famer, maybe two, likely multiple Pro Bowlers (today about half the NFLPA membership) and anywhere from 30-50% who will roster in the NFL and / or practice squads for on average of 3-5 years.

On the flip side, of the seven (7) rounds of picks, including those of the compensatory selections, about 2/3rds will last for but from 0-2 years in the National (50-70%), never to roster or just in for a cup o’ Gatorade®. Keep in mind that the League does need to replenish its ranks, so, even if that year’s pool is rated luke-warm, if teams are top-heavy in older players, the so-so selectees may get an atypically longer look-see from needy coaches & GMs.

With those numbers, with that state of ephemeralia, it’s nothing short of miraculous the job that NFL Suits & Skirts have done in selling this Traveling Circus of Selection to the buying public.

I use ‘buying public’ generously here, given that 90% of those enthralled with the tedious tally of picks over three days are young males aged 9-22, 20% of those matriculating in sport media. But hey, they’re consumers, too, you know it.

— — —

I’ve listed herein a break-down of all the 1R pick performances from last year’s 2016 draft held in the city with “Big Shoulders,” in total a result I believe that’s pretty typical of most first-year, first-rounders in the League.

A team’s 1st-round pick is certainly not wholly determinative of the success or failure of that year’s draft or its decision-making. The following rounds (2-7 (+C)), assuming every team chooses in most of those later phases, can, on wisdom and a little luck, bolster a clubs roster for years to come, even as the #1 turns pumpkin before its pie-time (bust-a-roo).

But that first pick, even as a 2nd-rounder, is also a very well vetted pick.

And not just combine skills but mental maneuverability as well, in test form and real world record, making Deshaun Watson’s surprise visit to a Tuscaloosa eatery a few weeks back, with no intro, no greet n’ meet before settling-in to start a good vibe, a display of ghastly gall that may’ve banked on the race – rivalry confusion to pull off the play, a factor then in his reliability rating, on field and off.

There is bold & brave, and then there is just plain bad judgment. Rivals worth their weight will often need only the smallest excuse to be generous beyond their legal duty. I guess small is still humungous for the gargantuan ego.

But in truth, most of the time and hope that a search committee invests will ride on that first selection. When it doesn’t pan out or provides less-than-expected benefit, it puts just that much more pressure on the following picks, where the pool of talent dilutes accordingly with each passing round, to pan in. And of course, draft outcomes will play to some degree on the tenor of talks come contract time with established veterans

That doesn’t mean that positively peachy picks can’t be had on the back branches. They certainly can as the Dallas Cowboys (Dak Prescott 4R(C) -MVP candidate), Chicago Bears (Jordan Howard 5R) and Kansas City Chiefs proved (Tyreek Hill 5R, 1T-All Pro) with some of the best grabs in the bunch for 2016.

#31: Germain Ifedi, OT, Seattle Seahawks, 13g (13s)*
#30: Vernon Butler, DT, Carolina Panthers, 10g (0s), 1-fr, 1.5s, 5t-8a
#29: Robert Nkemdiche, DT, Arizona Cardinals, DT, 5g (0)
#28: Joshua Garnett, OG, San Francisco 49ers, 15g (11), 3fr
#27: Kenny Clark, DT, Green Bay Packers, 16g (2), 2-fr, 13t-8a
#26: Paxton Lynch, QB, Denver Broncos, 3g (2), 1-1, 59%, 2t-1i, 6.ypa
#25: Artie Burns, CB, Pittsburgh Steelers, 16g (9), 3i, 13pd, 51t-13a
#24: William Jackson, CB, Cincinnati Bengals, 0g, pre-season injury (pec)
#23: Laquon Treadwell, WR, Minnesota Vikings, 9g (1), 1r, punt team
#22: Josh Doctson, WR, Washington Redskins, 2g (0), 2r, not “healthy (?)”
#21: Will Fuller, WR, Houston Texans, 14g (13), 47r, 635y, 2td
#20: Darron Lee, LB, New York Jets, 13g (9), 42t-28a
#19: Shaq Lawson, DE, Buffalo Bills, 10g (1), 7t-6a
#18: Ryan Kelly, C, Indianapolis Colts, 16g (16), “one of good pieces (GM)”
#17: Keanu Neal, S, Atlanta Falcons, 14g (14), 72t-33a, 5pd, 5ff
#16: Taylor Decker, OT, Detroit Lions, 16g (16)
#15: Corey Coleman, WR, Cleveland Browns, 10g (10), 33r, 413y, 3td
#14: Karl Joseph, S, Oakland Raiders, 12g (9), 44t-16a, 1i, 1ff
#13: Laremy Tunsil, OT, Miami Dolphins, 14g (14)
#12: Sheldon Rankins, DT, New Orleans Saints, 9g (0), 4sk, 15t-5a
#11: Vern Hargreaves, CB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 16 (16), 10pd, 68t-8a
#10: Eli Apple, CB, New York Giants, 14g (11), 7pd, 41t-8a, 1i-1ff-2fr
#9: Leonard Floyd, LB, Chicago Bears, 12g (12), 7sk, 23t-10a (W11 neck-C))
#8: Jack Conklin, OT, Tennessee Titans, 16g (16), AP.1T – All-Pro
#7: DeForest Buckner, DE, San Francisco 49ers, 15g (15), 6sk, 2fr, 43t-30a
#6: Ronnie Stanley, OT, Baltimore Ravens, 12g (12), AFCN – ROY
#5: Jalen Ramsey, CB, Jacksonville Jaguars, 16 (16), 2i, 14pd, 55t-10a
#4: Ezekiel Elliott, RB, Dallas, 15g (15), 1631y, 15td, 32r – 363y, 1T-All Pro
#3: Joey Bosa, DE, Los Angeles Chargers, 12 (11), 10.5sk, 29t-12a
#2: Carson Wentz, QB, Philadelphia Eagles, 16g (16), 62%, 7-9, 16t-14i
#1: Jared Goff, QB, Los Angeles Rams, 7g (7), 55%, 0-7, 5t-7i, 5+ypa
* Patriots forfeited 29th 1R pick per Deflategate penalty to reduce total to 31

There were 1st round dandies (12) in Draft 2016, impact possibilities (12) and wish-we-had-it-overs (7). Any wash-outs are still pending.

It’s not exactly an exhaustive analysis but then who wants to fall asleep at the screen (See; sabrmetrics)? Likewise, it’s not exactly hard to demonstrate just how over-sold is the NFL draft every year, at least as family entertainment.

In the League’s defense, they target their market (See; above) and probably reach it to some degree of satisfaction, keeping the boys busy for a few days and host city restaurants hopping with happy customers.

Nearly every NFL fan will take a gander at their team’s #1 selection, and then the tally of names / positions / college affiliations of the rest when it’s all done by Sunday AM. Fans of football won’t invest too much mental energy but will instead put the lion’s share of their trust in their team’s calculations of particular needs and then to pick accordingly, even if that‘s the next best player available.

There is good art, there is bad art, and then there is NFL Draft 2017 jammin’ up the parking lots and lavatories with their performance art and all the drama “of a bladder (Twain on viewing Shakespeare bust in Straftford-upon-Avon).”

Steven Keys
NFL HunchLine
Photo credit: NFL-wikiproject, Ixnay-Beao; R.Goodell-L.Boyd-M.Green, NFL.Draft, NYC, 4.26.12, R.Clinton; E.Elliott, wc, 11.9.14, WOSNsports; D.Watson, wc, 1.10.16, AtlantaFalcons; JimMarshall, Topps, 1970
Posted: 4.21.17 @ 1:07pm; Copyright © 2017
Sources: Wikipedia (draft) & pro-football-reference (#s)

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NFL17: A Patriots Peer, It’s Back To Top-Tier or These Packers Turn Flat-Beer

28 Mar

Pretendership: It’s an NFL station most Green Bay Packers devotees have never knelt before in prayer for guidance and delivery. Anyone rooting for the Acme club yet having no recollection of the play that made John Brockington and Lynn Dickey house-hold names in the badger state is probably in that blessed group.

But that’s for later.

For now, just imagine rooting for an NFL team, one that not only wins most of its regular season games but will have on display any given year a future Cantonese or two roaming the turf, that for most of your conscious life has been an NFL contender. Imagine that. Easy enough for New England Patriots faithful but for the rest of fandom it’s a little hard to picture even in the mind’s eye.

Twenty-five years of pretty much football bliss in Northeastern Wisconsin’s Fox Valley, thanks in large part to two men (GMs), four if you count the coaches (Holmgren / McCarthy), six if you include the QBs (Favre / Rodgers).

Sure, there were some struggles, a few 8-8s seasons, even a couple losing campaigns, but there was always an easy scapegoat to find (Ray Rhodes, Mike Sherman, Bill Schroeder) and soon enough the Good Ship Green & Yellow would find its contender course again and all was ship-shape.

The Ron Wolf and Ted Thompson Packers have never dominated the sport as did former Green Bay juggernauts under Vince Lombardi (60s) or founding father Curly Lambeau (20-40s) but playoff births have been nearly automatic since 1992 and the two Super Bowl victories (1997 & 2011) have given the period of prosperity a legitimacy that can only come with championships.

While the Patriots recent reign of championships is incomparable in this still newish century of play, it’s not hyperbole to write that it is actually the Packers, hang with me here, by way of a crafty continuity in success that’ve been the more impressive of NFL’s two most juggernautious franchises these past 25 years.

Sure, New England coaching genius Bill Belichick and his sure-to-be 1st ballot HOF quarterback extraordinaire in Tom Brady are likely the most terrific title tandem in the Super Bowl era (See also; Noll & Bradshaw, Landry & Staubach, Walsh & Montana), but the manners in which both Wolf and then Thompson engineered their respective coach – QB tandems-in-terrificness are the templates in ‘How To,’ 1) Acquire a diamond-in-the-rough bench-warmer (Brett (ATL)), and 2) draft a replacement (Aaron) for a living legend.

Just imagine, two consecutive GMs who respectively displayed an expertise in post-draft patience (Ron) and then prediction on player longevity (Ted), that player in Favre being, to Wisconsin sports fans, next to God, making it very risky business to draft any heir apparent in 2005 (Aaron).

Wolf’s persistence and then shrewd calculation in extracting Favre from Atlanta’s roster in trading a #1 pick (respectful enough to get their interest but not so generous to get ’em wondering) should be an example to every GM and fantasy fan, i.e., that post-draft follow-up can be of greater value than draft day doings.

And Thompson, in showing Brett the door by drafting the Berkeley Bear Rodgers in 2005, took one humongous gamble. To appreciate just how bold a move it was you have know just how popular was the man from Southern Miss.

Directly north up in Wisconsin, Favre was bigger than Lombardi had ever been, in part because every female sport fan in America’s Dairyland had become enamored with the dude. And that’s putting it mildly.

You think Tom Brady’s huge in 2017? He is, but Brett Favre was huger. Hell, Brett was bigger than the NFL. The Green Bay Renaissance that he and his team fashioned, back-to-back Super Bowls and plenty o’ playoff action, briefly put them in the America’s Team seat, after the Aikman Cowboys disbanded, a starry status that played no small role in facilitating formation of the still budding international game in the early 2000s (Mexico City (05), London (07)).

Consider that when “Onslow (Geoff Hughes)” dons Packers gear on the hit British TV comedy, Keeping Up Appearances (1990-95),” it’s not because of NFL rules changes or networks addition of female sideliners. It was Favre, plain & simple.

So if Rodgers doesn’t pan out when handed the offensive reins in 2008, Ted probably gets run out of paper-mill country on a rail, figuratively speaking, after hustling out the family dog first (See; Devine ‘74). But instead, the pan turned up gold and Ted will get a street named after himself, if he hasn’t already.

“Mississippi,” as Falcons Jerry Glanville referred to the rookie QB in smirk, had a couple good seasons left in the tank when he exited Lambeau: An injury-affected Jets campaign (10-6) and two seasons with arch-rival Minnesota, the first in 2009 which would be his best single statistical show and see the Vikes fall to the Bounty-gate Saints in the NFCC10-OT and finale when he dragged himself back for one more go before hanging up his Canton-bound cleats.

♫ Shades of Mediocrity ♫

Mercurial might aptly describe the 2016-17 Green Bay Packers.

Hovering around .500 to the midway, then going three (losses) in the hole, the Pack found some consistency the rest of the way (6 + 2PS) until getting stomped in the NFCC at Mercedes-Benz (Georgia) Dome (44-21 (24-0 H)).

The party isn’t over, not by a long shot, not while perennial MVP entry Aaron Rodgers has his legs underneath and maintains his pin-point passing precision. But some of the good-times have started to head for the exits and a few of those that remain are looking a bit green around the gills (gulp).

One of those always in attendance is the Green Bay defense. It’s a curiosity for even as they helped raise a Lombardi for head coach Mike McCarthy in 2011, it’s also a unit that’s looked wather wobbly since the Reggie White – George Koonce – Sean Jones – LeRoy Butler bunch broke-up.

Team ranks tell the tale. In 2016, the Green figured about where they usually do in the McCarthy era, 22nd in yards allowed per game (364), 21st in points (24+). In the NFCC17 those middling marks came home to roost as Atlanta feasted.

At the center of the defensive scheme has been The Hair, sack-minded linebacker Clay Matthews. Never a top tackler, perplexing for a middle-man, Clay’s numbers have been trending down since that Super season to the point where real value should be a real question for GB staff. He does make a fun soup commercial.

The run game, as party-goers go, hasn’t had much to say lately.

The weighty part of the ball-carry was spending most of its time at the buffet. But Lacy’s gone now and won’t find better eats in the greater Seattle metro, that is unless you really like salmon. And maybe that‘s the point. Bon appétit, Eddie.

Ty Montgomery (2y-SU) filled the void nicely in 2016, for a time, then faded late, 2010 draftee James Starks was not re-signed of , another 2d-yr. in big guy (6’1 255) Aaron Ripkowski (Sooner) will full-back just fine (4.4 – 2td), F/A pick-up Don Jackson (Nevada) had 10 carries last year while former Seahawk Christine Michaels was inked to a deal but has much to prove (9-GS from 2013 (4.3)).

Finding replacements, not mockery, is why the draft matters.

And then there’s Mike ‘What Have You Done For Us Lately’ McCarthy.

Coaching the Green Bay Packers, an early NFL entrant (1921) with accolades enough to fill a cruise liner (sink it along with its Captain in rough waters), is like riding a tiger: When times is good, everybody purrs, but when the champagne rarely flows, the big kitty pitches a fit and sometimes eats its own (gulp).

Mike’s got a monkey on his back clutching an NFCC runner-up trophy in symbol of GB’s disaster known as Cheese-Melt 2015. Packers 1st half lead frittered away and overtime nailed their coffin shut as the Seahawks returned to the Super.

Mike McCarthy has been suffering the “slings and arrows” of regional critics with no return trip to the Big Game. But the rather disappointing playoff runs, enabled by a rather terrific career regular mark (.651), is just part of a pattern he’s displayed since being hired to replace Mike Sherman in 2006. Some good years, a few pedestrian and patience, more patience.

There’s only one Bill Belichick, folks.

Mike’s big mistake was caving to pressure after the Melt to concede offensive play-call, a concession he…revoked (?) at last season’s midpoint. Trust then becomes an issue. But remember, MM turned Packers back into champions when all looked discombobulated, six (6) years after the guy who was prone to sideline temper tantrums left for the State of Washington.

It wasn’t easy filling Favre’s sizable shoes…wait…come to think of it, it actually was pretty easy for Thompson. But Brett was bigger than life and there’s only been one mobile pocket-passer the likes of Mr. Rodgers, a player who, as he will enter his thirteenth (13) NFL summer camp shortly, I’d give four (4) 1Rs in trade today if by some fluke he became free and I a GM in need.

Such a smooth succession in kingly QBs in Packerland in pass of the bejeweled scepter of signal-caller royalty, the Patriots (Belichick – Brady) have not yet displayed. Course, they haven’t had the need. When Tom retires, likely same time Bill hangs up his headset, we’ll see how they do it in Foxborough.

But the Pack are on the championship clock. They need to return to elite status in 2017 (12-4) or their royal carriage may turn pumpkin before anyone expects it.

Last season’s road to the Halas Trophy (NFCC) was not exactly strewn with pot-holes in serious contenders. It was more like the E-ZPass® highway.

The Atlanta Falcons were the real deal in 2016-17 yet may still feel the reel this upcoming campaign from their colossal collapse in SB51.

To write that the rest of the NFC was deficient would be an understatement.

Though much ballyhooed after a W1 loss to the Giants, the Cowboys much anticipated playoff turned Texas-sized soufflé in loss at home to Green Bay; G-Men and Lions proved pretenders, not because they lost in the PS which, by itself is no fraud, but in both getting shellacked; Seattle, never quite the same since losing SB49, gave one of those shellackings (DET) but then got one themselves (ATL); and while Tampa surged to respectability, Redskins never got rhythm, Vikes were extra-mercurial (6-0), Panthers licked their wounds all season (SB50 – L) and pre-season hopeful Arizona never got going.

Residence in the once vaunted North divsion, f/k/a Black & Blue, always boosts the Packers pre-season rank which sits just under Atlanta as NFC favorites, ahead of Seattle (Lacy ≠ Lynch), then Arian’s Cardinals sure to rebound, the Giants, Lions, Dallas who won’t surprise in 2017, D-Vikes, maturing Bucs and sometimes capable conundrums in Redskins, Eagles, Saints and Carolina.

Procuring a reliable run-game is not the challenge that is finding a top-flight, resilient pocket passer, but good ball-carriers don’t grow on trees, either.

Letting lunch-a-lot Lacy exit looks prudent now, but if McCarthy, Thompson and OC in former GB ball-carrier Edgar Bennett cannot in trade or late-April draft find that impactful runner(s) to spell Rodgers and give opposing DCs a ground-attack to diagram, and then the bodies to shore-up a defense that too often turns leaky in rough waters, Packers will continue to get bounced too early from playoffs, Mike will get pink-slipped with no contribution to anyone’s awareness and this era of exuberance will creep to a close, great QB, notwithstanding.

Steven Keys
NFL HunchLine
Photo credit: A.Rodgers-M.McCarthy, wc.cca, M.Morbeck, 9.9.12; Packers-print, wc, 1959; B.Belichick, wc, K.Allison, 8.28.09; A.Rodgers, wc, M.Morbeck, 12.7.08; Minnesota-Vikings-GreenBay-Packers, P.Loadholt-C.Matthews, wc, 11.14.11, M.Morbeck; M.McCarthy, TJ.Grant, wc, 8.11.07; NFL-symbol, wikiproject, Ixnay-Beao
Posted: 3.28.17 @ 11:39am EST, edit 11:01; 3.31; Copyright © 2017

Bonnie and Clyde Ambushed Again, No Badges or Bullets But Bad Manners at Academy Gala

17 Mar

If you think the 89th Academy Awards snafu, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway being handed Best Actress envelope by staffers to announce and present the Best Picture award at the recent gala, was an accident as purported, I’m gonna’ guess there’s a good chance you’re comfortable too with the following conjectures:

1) Lee Harvey Oswald, double-agent with “Maggies drawers” and friend of clandestines Clay Shaw, David Ferrie, bag-man Jack Ruby and the FBI, fired off five shots in 3.5 seconds with one of the worst bolt-action rifles in history, ordered in the mail, aimed through a live oak in November from the Texas School Book Depository to assassinate President Kennedy;

2) A man named Shakspeare (no ‘e’ after ‘k’ spelled 3 ways), son of a Stratford-on-Avon glove-maker, with no public library or apparent capers to fortify his inspiration with the relevant nomenclature (“slang”) filling the voluminous literary product, wrote what most consider to be the greatest compilation of works in this planet’s history and yet by will devised a mere bowl and a sword but made no mention of the manuscripts likely most dear to its author’s heart;

3) Scientists, farmers, fire-fighters, polar ice-cap watchers, coastal residents and other folks in weather-affected livelihoods from around the world are blowing smoke when they red-flag a global-warming they’ve seen first-hand for years;

So how’d you do? Still a believer?

Innocent mishaps do happen but not in the Academy presentation they don’t, not with the Big presentation. In Jackson Pollock speak, “I deny the accident.” Why Mr. Beatty, who later expressed an awareness upon opening the envelope that he’d been handed the wrong card but proceeded to hand it to Dunaway without whisper of explanation is a curious bumble on his part. Age (b. 3.30.37 (79))?

Recently deceased movie expert and much beloved Robert Osborne (TCM) could attest to the fact that there have been errors committed in the AA’s long history, as when Sammy Davis Jr. was handed a wrong card on a music awarding in 1964. But none so serious in this most climactic of moments when the Best Picture Oscar® is announced and the statuette handed to the winner. It’s the high-point of the celebration and the biggest trophy in the bunch.

It’s a well vetted process that for near ninety years going back to the silents has prided itself on a meticulous production to avoid just that dreaded appearance of ineptitude, confusion and takesie backsies we saw in February, not to mention a loss of trust. I will not believe that that standard is not, for most, still in place.

But what’s the motive for one or more, and it’d likely be more (Where’s the fun doing it alone (ugh)?), to recklessly or intentionally throw a monkey-wrench into the works? Jealousy, childish, simple-minded jealousy may‘ve been the culprit.

And what does one do with cold envy? If you’re a snake, you don’t bury it, you find expression for it in skullduggery (See; Hamlet) by making two titans of the industry in Faye and Warren look bad. That they’re old, comparatively speaking, would make the theoretical dirty deed all that more satisfying to the doer(s) who, post-play, would smirk like the Grinch after his Whoville haul-away. Tee-hee.

Today, resentment for anything that is well established, be it a person’s advanced age and concomitant accomplishments, or time-tested traditions, even those that work, especially those that work, is at its apex.

It’s an arrogant mindset that has corporate backing: Out with the old, in with the new, change, change, change, unless of course it’s a helpful myth (See; Above). Don’t eat your young, heavens no, eat your Grandparents, instead. And that, even as everyone’s parade is headed to seniorhood, whether they get there or not.

‘How could they have done it, set them up, it’s so cold, so…dishonest?’ Yup.

I’d imagine it could’ve been accomplished quite easily by any number of people in the Academy or PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) chain-of-custody, made easier by the fact that organizers, while always guarding against flaws in the production through miscommunication and lethargy, were oblivious to even the possibility of one or more of their people intentionally gumming up the works.

Organizers wouldn’t have seen it coming this time but they’ll be on alert now with stepped-up monitoring in preparation and handling of announcement-cards.

Dishonesty and devious minds, they’re as old as Neanderthal short-changing Cro-Magnon in the first trade, ‘club for clams (‘Don’t give him all those, look at his forehead for crying out loud!’).’ But when too many of our leaders and celebrities seem to care not in the least what example they set, corruption grows rampant.

It’s not hard to find a story on corruption or greed today, they’re everywhere: Politics (S.Korea), schools (cheating), business (Volkswagen), media (fake news), the Marines (nude photos).

Sport is my usual theme and there the bad news is almost a daily line:

Olympian Ryan Lochte fabricates a false robbery report to Brazilian police and receives less than a year (10m) suspension from competitive swimming;

Ongoing PED use spans across the sport spectacle. It’s buoyed by enablers and apologists like HOF-voters who, where former baseball star Iván Rodríguez is concerned, enshrined the 13-time gold glove winning catcher in 2017, his first year of eligibility, even as the Puerto Rico native was named in former Texas Rangers’ teammate Jose Canseco’s watershed book, Juiced (05), as a user of performance enhancers with Jose claiming to’ve personally injected Iván (See also PED debate; Olympic swimmers Milorad Cavic v. Michael Phelps);

Michael Sam using an announcement on his sexual orientation as a means to draw attention and maybe preference for the approaching NFL draft;

Notre Dame Heisman hopeful, LB Manti Te’o concocts a story of a non-existent girlfriend who is, of all things, dying from cancer and today rosters in the NFL;

Maybe not NBA players so much as the draft-dingy junior media who encourage the prospect of tanking, and receive monetary compensation to write as much;

— — —

We had streakers in my youth (♫ The Streak (‘74) ♫). Call is spontaneous, kooky, a bit shocking but all in good fun. Today, those nudists have grandkids who take part in flash mobs to try to intimidate and frighten.

Don’t expect more shenanigans at the Academy Awards in the near future. Nobody wants pandemonium. Strike that, MOST don’t want pandemonium.

But if I’m over fifty-five and work in the movies, I wouldn’t plan on ever attending the big ceremony ever again, not until someone come’s clean or gets called on that red carpet. And then I’m not forgetting how Maureen O’Hara was treated.

And dilly-dally on that issue shouldn’t forestall the decision to find another new host for the 2018 AA and let Jimmy Kimmel focus on his talk show, or better yet, get back to what he’s best at, Crank Yank(ing). At least “Special Ed,” “Birchum” and “Gladys” were all real, god love ‘em.

Steven Keys
Photo credit: Oscar® statuette, wc.cca, 1951, Kon-Tiki, V.Atanassova; W.Beatty, wc, A.Light, 3.26.90; Oscars®, I.Hayes, Enterprise, Shaft, 4.22.72, wc; Oscars®, Bjork-Swan, 2001, Marjan-Pejoski, C.D.Riccio, wc; Oscars®, T.Hanks, 1989, wc, Light; Oscars®, wc, Hopper-Bigelow, 2.28.11, AA83, C.Lazo, Army; D.Taylor, wc, 1967, Bonnie&Clyde, WB-7A
Posted: 3.17.17 @ 1:10pm, edit 11:17; Copyright © 2017

Yore Movie Swells: ‘We..Rob..Banks’ and the Bonniest Lines In Classic Film Dialogue

16 Feb

Even omitting the TCM index and Shakespeare (Ed de Vere) flicks, there are more indelible lines in the remaining 100+ years of movie dialogue than there are lights to carpet a starry night sky. That includes the silent era, their captions and speaking parts in most every language under the Sun.

One clever quip certainly won’t carry a film but where there’s one golden nugget there’s sure to be more. With a top script, a director can make what would normally constitute just so many sharp looking wait-staff and personal trainers (actors) sound like gosh-darn poets.

Great dialogue can be as lengthy as Orson Welles “cuckoo clock” pitch (The Third Man) or as brief as Elizabeth Taylor’s modish “wow” as she peeked in on lonely billiard boy Montgomery Clift (A Place in the Sun).

It can be sung (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg), whistled (“Steve” in To Have and Have Not), set to motion (Davis’ coat drape on Ratloff in All About Eve), read in the wink of an eye (Poitier to cell-mate Wilson In the Heat of the Night), a raise of the eye-brows (Shearer on Lermontov news in The Red Shoes), a nod of the head (Moore’s closing answer to Huston in Out of the Past (47)), a hand gesture (Ferrer’s puppets in Lili) and even delivered in rodent-speak (Perri). Meaning that nearly every action in a film, a good one that is, makes a statement.

shearer-wc-m-feinstein-10-11-54-307k

Some of the quotes listed herein are célébrité (“We’re gonna need a bigger boat (Jaws)”), by itself no warrant for inclusion, others as obscure as this writer’s product. Some are funny, some sentimental, others pointed, viciously vague, suggestive in how far we’ve come or instructive in how far we have to go.

While most movie lines are best appreciated in their context, not subtext (oy vey), like “Tibbs” expert answer In the Heat of the Night (“I believe old Harv is a southpaw, now ain’t he, Shagbag (trooper)? What if he is, what’s that make him (Shagbag)? Innocent (Tibbs)”), most listed herein can stand on their own merit.

With a few exceptions, nearly all of these quotes are in English. That, even as its greatest proponent in the Bard (Shake-a-Spear) is rarely referenced, for if he (or Annie Hall) were, there‘d be no end to this write. What this list is is a smattering of the myriad of verbal gems that’ve been glittering on the silver screen for over a century and harvested in the heart by those viewers who mine for rarity.

This is a listing of memorable movie lines, a smorgasbord of flavorful offerings to sample for the film connoisseur and casual customer alike, not a ranking of the believed greatest dialogue ever delivered.

Selecting your favorites is fine and one can easily separate toppers from routine deliveries. But to claim an ability, a means to rank one line (or title (Citizen Kane (AFI #1 (ugh))) above others because you’ve consulted a cabal of credentialed critics is the highest order of arrogance and a clear sign of a film-lover fake.

So if you like classic flicks (< 2000), glory days for dialogue, and you prefer story over computerized imagery or the contemporary cocktail of gratuitous violence + sex, drink in some of these great lines, all natural flavors, gluten-free, no sugar-added and maybe one of ’em will “make (your) day.” Lights, camera, action!

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-We…rob…banks: Bonnie Parker (Faye Dunaway), Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

-Oh, I don’t know…everybody makes book on something: “Stoker Thompson (Robert Ryan),” The Set-Up (1949)

-Like Steve says, winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing: “Carol Williams (Sherry Jackson),” Trouble Along the Way (1953)

-Sun only shines half the day, Tom (Wayne), the other half is night: “Fen (Coleen Gray),” Red River (1948)

-There are two things better than a good gun, a Swiss watch and a woman from anywhere: “Cherry (John Ireland),” Red River (1948)

-Almost anything coming out of the mouth of Edna May Oliver (1883-1942)

-How would you define ballet, Lady Neston? Well, one might call it the poetry of motion perhaps, or…(Browne). One might, but for me it is a great deal more. For me it is a religion: “Boris Lermontov (Anton Walbrook),” The Red Shoes (1948)

-Why do you want to dance (“Lermontov“)? Why do you want to live?: “Victoria Page (Moira Shearer),” The Red Shoes

-Because dear miss…what was your name (Walbrook)? Victoria Page (Shearer). Yes, Miss Page, because when I come to a party I don’t expect to sit for an audition (Anton). Yes, you are quite right: “Vicky (Shearer),” The Red Shoes

-You cannot alter human nature (Massine). No? I think you can do even better, you can ignore it!: “Lermontov (Walbrook),” The Red Shoes

-You cannot have it both ways (to “Ljubov” & “Page”). A dancer who relies upon the doubtful comforts of human love can never be a great dancer. Never!: “Boris Lermontov (Walbrook),” The Red Shoes

-I want you to dance tonite with the same ecstasy I’ve seen in you only once before. At the Mercury Theatre (Vicky). Yes, in the Mercury Theater in London, on a wet, Saturday afternoon: “Lermontov (Walbrook) (Boris now in love)”

-What the devil have you (Craster) got to be worried about? It’s a fine score, a magnificent score! I only wish I had…go on! Former lead composer and conductor “Livingston ‘Livy’ Montague (Esmond Knight),” The Red Shoes

-Vicky, Vicky, dance to whatever tempo you like. I’ll follow you! New composer and conductor “Julian Craster (Marius Goring),” The Red Shoes

-Would he (“Craster”) give it up if you asked him (Walbrook)? I don’t know (Shearer). You do know! I wouldn’t ask him. Then why is he asking you?! Does he KNOW what he’s asking?: “Lermontov (Walbrook),” The Red Shoes (the crux)

-Nobody else has ever danced the Red Shoes since you left. Nobody else ever shall. Put on the red shoes, Vicky (now entranced), and dance for us again!: “Lermontov (Walbrook),” The Red Shoes

-If I could be anyone, a child who could be brave from the beginning: “Roslyn (Marilyn Monroe),” The Misfits (1961)

-It all blows-up in your face sometimes, doesn’t it?: “Joyce Harwood (Veronica Lake);” The Blue Dahlia (1946)

-I got a new suit (Brian Donlevy). It looks like the suit got you: “The Boss (Akim Tamiroff),” The Great McGinty (1940 (loud suit))

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-You know this fish, he don’t go to school, he don’t know French but he pretty smart, too: “Manuel (Spencer Tracy),” Captains Courageous (1937)

-You (Freddie Bartholomew) show is a tonic to yoself: “Doc” the cook (Sam McDaniel),” Captains Courageous

-He (Douglas) will hug you to pieces then take those pieces home with him: “Manuel (Tracy),” Captains Courageous

-Fiddle dee-dee. War, war, war, this war talk’s spoiling the fun at every party this spring! “Scarlett O’Hara (Vivian Leigh),” Gone With the Wind (1939)

-Whistle (Gable). Gasp (Leigh). Has the war started?: “Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) (meets “Scarlett” for the first time),” Gone With the Wind

-All we’ve got is cotton, slaves and…arrogance: “Butler,” Gone With the Wind

-Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn: “Butler (Gable) (says goodbye to his “Scarlett“),” Gone With the Wind

-But tomorrow…is another day!: “Scarlett (Leigh),” Gone With the Wind

-A tribe’s greatness is figured by how mighty its enemies be: “Del Gue (Stefan Gierasch),” Jeremiah Johnson (1972)

-Is it possible that something is holy to the celebrated agnostic (March)? Yes, the individual human mind in a child’s power to master a multiplication table, there is more sanctity than in all your shouted ‘amens,’ ‘holy holies’ and ‘hosannas!’ An idea is a greater monument than a cathedral and the advance of knowledge is a greater miracle than all the sticks turned to snakes or the parting of the waters: “Col. Henry Drummond (Spencer Tracy),” Inherit the Wind (1960).

-Progress has never been a bargain, you have to pay for it. Sometimes I think there’s a man who sits behind a counter and says, ‘all right, you can have a telephone but you lose privacy and the charm of distance. Madam, you may vote, but at a price. You lose the right to retreat behind the powder puff or your petticoat. Mister, you may conquer the air but the birds will lose their wonder and the clouds will smell of gasoline’: “Col. Henry Drummond (Tracy)

-All you have to do is knock on any door and say, ‘If you let me in I’ll live the way you want me to live and I’ll think the way you want me to think and all the blinds will go up and all the doors will open and you’ll never be lonely ever again. If that‘s the case I‘ll change the plea, this is if you know the law‘s right and you’re wrong: “Col Drummond (Tracy),” Inherit the Wind

-Mr. Brady, why do you deny the one faculty of man that raises him above the other creatures of the earth, the power of his brain to reason? What other merit have we? The elephant is larger, the horse swifter and stronger, the butterfly is far more beautiful, the mosquito is more prolific, even the simple sponge is more durable: “Col. Henry Drummond (Tracy),” Inherit the Wind

-The bible is a book. It’s a good book but it is not the only book: “Col. Henry Drummond (Tracy),” Inherit the Wind

-Youth can be so pure, what do you know of good or evil? What do you know of the sum of a man’s life? He betrayed me (Anderson)! You betrayed yourself! You see my husband as a saint, and so he must be right in everything he says and does, and then you see him as a devil and everything he does must be wrong. Well, my husband’s neither a saint nor a devil, he’s just a human being and he makes mistakes. How can you defend him? it’s not he I’m defending but the 40 years I’ve lived with this man and watched him carry the burdens of people like you. If he’s been wrong at least he stood for something. What do you stand for? Do you believe in Bertram Cates (York)? I believe in my husband. What do you believe in?: “Mrs. Sara Brady (Florence Eldridge),” Inherit the Wind

-What touches you (Kelly), what warms you? Every man has a dream. What do you dream about? What, what do you need? You don’t need anything, do you, people, love, an idea just to cling to? You poor slob. You’re all alone. When you go to your grave, there won’t be anybody to pull the grass up over your head, nobody to mourn you, nobody to give a damn. You’re all alone (Tracy). You’re wrong, Henry. You’ll be there. You’re the type. Who else would defend my right to be lonely?: “E.K. Hornbeck (Gene Kelly),” Inherit the Wind

-Nobody lives forever: “Nick (John Garfield),” Nobody Live Forever (1946)

-Spill it punk or I’ll splash your brains out!: “Mickey,” 99 River Street (1953)

-Who are you (Wood (POY)))? I’m next: “Tyrone ‘Mr. Clean’ Miller (Laurence Fishburne),” Apocalypse Now (1979)

-You can lick me if you want and I’ll still love you: “Betsy Bartlett McMasters (Claudette Colbert),” Boom Town (1940) (context)

-You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce, the cuckoo clock: “Harry Lime (Orson Welles),” The Third Man (1949)

-Course, a situation like that (black market) does tend to amateurs but…but, well, they (floaters) can’t stay the course: Carol Reed (narrator), The Third Man

-Be sensible, Martins (Howard). I don’t have a sensible name, Calloway: “Holly Martins (Joseph Cotton), The Third Man

-Dancing means everything to me!: “Judy (O’Hara),” Dance, Girl, Dance (1940)

-Pardon, how do I wire congratulations to the Pacific Ocean?: “Matt Libby (Lionel Stander),” A Star is Born (1937) (context)

-In Italian there is a no word for this ‘crooner (“de Vinci (Adolphe Menjou)“). That’s okay, Professor, there’s no word in English for spaghetti: “Dick Purcell (Dick Powell),” Broadway Gondolier (1935)

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-I was married twice before – once at 16, once at 21. One was a crybaby and the other was a caveman. Between the two of them I said goodbye to girlhood: “Helen Wright (Joan Crawford),” Humoresque (1946)

-Here’s to love: “Helen Wright (Joan Crawford),” Humoresque

-The earth is my body, my head is in the stars!: “Maude Chardin (Ruth Gordon),” Harold and Maude (1971)

-Oh, I don’t drink (“Harold (Bud Cort)”). It’s okay, it’s organic: “Maude (Gordon),” Harold and Maude

-It’s best not to be too moral, you cheat yourself out of too much life: “Maude (Gordon),” Harold and Maude

-I made you breakfast…scrambie eggs: “Chip (Jim Carrey),” The Cable Guy

-You mean Heather is a prostitute (“Steve”)? Of course she is, you think a girl like that’d hang out with us if she wasn’t? “Chip (Carrey),” The Cable Guy (1996)

-I always had a hard time realizing how important we are: “George Hasting (Russell Hicks),“ The Big Store (1941)

-Course, I’ll have to notify the police (Gerstle). This is a case for homicide. Homicide (O‘Brien)!? “I don’t think you fully understand, Bigelow, you’ve been murdered: “Dr. MacDonald (Frank Gerstle),” D.O.A (1950)

-I knew there was something wrong with that guy. Never met a gin-drinker yet that you could trust: “Parnell (Arthur O’Connell),” Anatomy of a Murder (1959)

-It’s up to you: Jim Garrison (Kevin Costner)), JFK (1991) (context)

-It was a violation of the most basic protection codes and the best indication of a massive plot (to kill JFK) in Dallas: “Mister X (Donald Sutherland),” JFK (1990)

-I’ll show you how a Prussian officer can fight (Schell). And I’ll show you how the Iron Crosses grow: “Sgt. Rolf Steiner (James Coburn),” Cross of Iron (1977)

-Why don’t you buzz off on your broomstick!: “Maxine (Ava Gardner),” The Night of the Iguana (1964)

-Her eyes said ‘NO’ in big, blue capital letters: “Miss Hannah Jelkes (Deborah Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-All women, whether they want to face it or not, want to see a man in a tied-up situation. They spend their entire lives trying to get a man in a tied-up situation. Their lives are fulfilled when they an get a man or as many men as they can into a tied-up situation!: “Shannon (Richard Burton), The Night of the Iguana

-I respect anyone who’s had to fight and howl for their decency (Kerr). What do you respect in me, Miss Thin, Standing-Up, female Buddha (Burton)!? Far more than I respect those ones who had theirs handed out to them at birth and never afterwards snatched away from them by unbearable torments: “Jelkes (Deborah Kerr), The Night of the Iguana

-And what is my problem, Miss Jeltz (Burton)? The oldest one in the world, the need to believe in someone or something, almost anyone or anything: “Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-I don’t regard a home as a place, a building, bricks, wood, stone. I think of a home a something two people have between them in which each can nest, rest, live in, emotionally speaking: “Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-I’m not a bird, Mr. Shannon. I’m a human being and when one of that unique species builds a nest in the heart of another, the questions of permanence or propagation are not the first or even the last things to be considered: “Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-There are worse things that chastity, Mr. Shannon (Kerr). Yes, lunacy and death: “Shannon (Burton),” The Night of the Iguana

-Nothing human disgusts me, Mr. Shannon, unless it is unkind or violent: “Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-How did you, how did you beat this blue devil of yours (Burton)? I showed him I could endure him and make him respect my endurance: Endurance is something spooks and blue devils respect. And they respect all the tricks panicky people use to outsmart and outlast the panic (Kerr). Like taking deep breaths (Burton)? Or rum cocoas: “Miss Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-Why don’t we go down to the beach (Gardner)? I can a…I can get down hill, Maxine, but I’m not too sure about getting back up (Burton). I’ll get you back up, Baby. I’ll always get you back up: “Maxine (Gardner),” The Night of the Iguana

-He wishes: “Charlotte Vale (Bette Davis”), Now, Voyager (1942)

-If we both try hard to protect that little strip of territory that is ours: “Charlotte (Bette Davis),” Now, Voyager

-Oh Jerry, don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars: “Charlotte (Bette Davis),” Now, Voyager (context)

-(On plane, “Jack” shows his altered FBI badge now with his picture to 9 (?) boy seated aside): It looks fine…to me: Scott McAfee, Midnight Run (1987)

-You two are dumbest bounty hunters in history…you couldn’t deliver a bottle of milk!: “Jon Mardukas (Charles Grodin),” Midnight Run

-Did you ever have sex with an animal, Jack? Remember those chickens around the Indian Reservation, there were some good-looking chickens around there, Jack, you know, between us (Grodin). Yeah, there were a couple there I mighta’ taken a shot at (laughter): “Jack Walsh (Robert De Niro),” Midnight Run

-I don’t think she’s coming back (Grodin). Yeah, I don’t either, I don’t either (De Niro). Sometimes you just have to let go, just get yourself a new watch: “Jon (Grodin),” Midnight Run (context)

-What do you think you are, for Christ-sake, crazy or something? We’ll you’re not, no crazier than the average asshole out walking the street: R.P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson),” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

-Koufax’ curveball is snapping off like a fucking fire-cracker: “McMurphy (Jack Nicholson),” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

-Somebody give me a wiener before I die!: “Randall P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson),” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

-Mr. Scanlon (Fletcher)? I want to know why the dorm is locked in the daytime and the weekends: “Scanlon (Delos Smith),” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

-A man like him (“Jim McKay“)…is very rare: “Ramon (Alfonso Bedoya),” The Big Country (1958) (context)

-All I can say McKay is you take a hell of a long time to say goodbye: “Steve Leach (Charlton Heston),” The Big Country (moonlight fistfight)

-Greenhorns have to get knocked around a little: “Jim McKay (Gregory Peck),” The Big Country (1958)

-Obviously Mr. McKay is man who is afraid of only one thing, that people may suspect him of showing off: “Julie Maragon (Jean Simmons),” The Big Country

-You want me, Pop (Connors)? Before you was born, I did: “Rufus Hannassey (Burl Ives),” The Big Country

-I’m not responsible for what people think, only for what I am: “Jim McKay (Gregory Peck),” The Big Country

-How do you like Blanco Canyon, huh (Ramón)? It’s a hell of place for sailor: “Jim McKay (Gregory Peck),” The Big Country

-Some people you can’t insult at all, others get upset over the littlest thing: “Pat Terrell (Carroll Baker),” The Big Country

-An amazingly good actor met an amazingly receptive audience: Napoleon Bonaparte (Claude Rains), Hearts Divided (1936)

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Ned Sparks (1883-1957)

-And how is your cousin, Edmond de Boeldieu, who was Military Attaché in Berlin (von Stronheim)? He is well and happy. He lost an arm and married a very rich wife (Fresnay). A fine career: “Captain von Rauffenstein (Erich von Stronheim),” The Grand Illusion (1937)

-I ain’t spittin’ on my whole life: “Monte (Lee Marvin),” Monte Walsh (1970 (turning down job as a Western dude))

-I want to make love to you until you scream (Morris). Can’t scream!: “Jerry Martin (Norma Shearer),” The Divorcee (1930)

-She’s a grifter, just like her brother. Probably had grifter parents and grifter grandparents and someday they’re each gonna’ spawn little grifter kids: “Tom (Gabriel Byrne),” Miller’s Crossing (1990)

-Nobody knows anybody, not that well: “Tom (Byrne),” Miller’s Crossing

-Old man’s still an artist with the Thompson: “Terry (L.Flaherty),” Miller’s

-If you can’t trust a fix, what can you trust?: “Caspar (J.Polito),” Miller’s

-You used to be big (Holden). I am big, it’s the pictures that got small: “Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson),” Sunset Boulevard (1950)

-There were children in those days (Revolution) who lived off human flesh: “Lt. Gen. Yevgraf Andreyevich Zhivago (Alec Guinness),” Doctor Zhivago (1965)

-Don’t you want to believe it (Guinness)? Not if it isn’t true!: “Tonya Komarova (Rita Tushingham),” Doctor Zhivago

-A nameless number (Christie) on a list that was later mislaid: Lt. Gen. Yevgraf Andreyevich Zhivago (Alec Guinness),” Doctor Zhivago

-You only had one glass (Cowan)? But you kept filling it up: “Jeffrey Baird (Edward Everett Horton),” Shall We Dance (1937)

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-I want to change their minds, not kill them for having the same weaknesses we all possess: Mohandas Gandhi (Ben Kingsley), Gandhi (1982)

-It’s the story of my life, I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop: “Sugar (Marilyn Monroe), Some Like It Hot (1959)

-You don’t’ understand Osgood, I’m a man (Lemmon)! We’ll, nobody’s perfect: “Osgood Fielding III (Joe E. Brown),” Some Like It Hot

-I’m getting a cramp in the most peculiar place: “Francesca Cunningham (Ann Todd),” The Seventh Veil (1945)

-Life is short, art long, decision difficult and experiment perilous: “Bederaux (Paul Lukas),” Experiment Perilous (1944)

-So help me, he (Jordan Benedict IV) looks like a little wet-back: “Bick Benedict (Rock Hudson),” Giant (1956)

-Never trust a nigger (Hackman). He could’ve been white (Scheider). Never trust anyone!: “Popeye Doyle (Gene Hackman),” The French Connection (1971)

-Take your last look at free-side, kid: Inmate (Gail Bonney?), Caged (1950)

-For that forty bucks I heisted, I certainly got myself an education: “Marie Allen (Eleanor Parker),” Caged (1950)

-Can’t beat aces: “Nick (Humphrey Bogart),” The Wagons Roll at Night (1941)

-La-dee-da, la-dee-da: “Annie Hall (Diane Keaton),” Annie Hall (1977)

-The only word for this is transplendent: “Pam (Shelley Duvall),” Annie Hall

-You know how to whistle, don’t you Steve? You just put your lips together and, blow: “Slim (Lauren Bacall),” To Have and Have Not (1944)

-He didn’t invent it (Bogart). Invent what (Moran)? Being afraid: “Harry ‘Steve’ Morgan (Humphrey Bogart),” To Have and Have Not

-What manner of man is it I’ve married (O‘Hara)!? A better one than I think you know, Mary Kate: “Hugh Forbes (Charles Fitzsimmons),“ The Quiet Man (1952)

-There’ll be no bolts or locks between us Mary Kate, except those in your little mercenary heart: “Sean Thornton (John Wayne),” The Quiet Man

-As only an American would think of emerald green! “Elizabeth Playfair (Eileen Crowe),” The Quiet Man (Sean’s new cottage)

-By the way, don’t underestimate Danaher, he’s got a tremendous right and jaw of granite: “Rev. Cyril Playfair (Arthur Shields),” The Quiet Man (persuading)

-Will you join me in a glass of…no…you’ll be in training now, of course: “Playfair (Shields),” The Quiet Man (converted)

-No, no, you just said you loved her. There’s some difference between lovin’ and likin.’ When I married Jennie’s mother, I-I didn’t love her, I liked her, I liked her alot. I liked Martha for at least three years after we were married and then one day it just dawned on me I loved her. I still do…still do. You see, Sam, when you love a woman without likin’ her, the night can be long and cold, and contempt comes up with the sun: “Charlie Anderson (Jim Stewart),” Shenandoah (1965)

-(Test bout) I won’t hurt you…I don’t think I’ll even hit you: “Harry Watson (Rhys Williams),” Gentleman Jim (1942 (test)

-Being a good loser is hard but being a good winner is even harder: John L. Sullivan (Ward Bond, handing first belt dated 7.4.1887 to new champion, James J. Corbett), Gentleman Jim (1942)

-Right or wrong, the brand sticks: “Shane (Alan Ladd),” Shane (1953)

-Shane, there’s too many!: “Joey (Brandon deWilde),” Shane (1953)

-♫ Some enchanted evening, you will see a strangeeeeeer ♫: “Nobody Falfa (Harrison Ford),” American Graffiti (1973)

-Rome wudn’t burnt in a day: “Joe (Bo Hopkins),” American Graffiti (1973)

-Why don’t you kiss my sister’s black cat’s ass: “Clarence ‘Crazy’ Lee (Bo Hopkins),” The Wild Bunch (1968)

-Wunden mein herz mit einer monotonen mattigkeit (Wounds my heart with a monotonous languor): German officer, The Longest Day (1962)

-You see, Mr. Gittes (Jack Nicholson), most people never have to face the fact that at the right time and the right place they’re capable of anything: “Noah Cross (John Huston),” Chinatown (1974).

-Course I’m respectable. I’m old. Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough: “Noah Cross (Huston), Chinatown (1974)

-I hope you don’t mind. I believe they should be served with the head (“Cross (John Huston)”). Fine, just as long as you don’t serve chicken that way: “Jake Gittes (Jack Nicholson),” Chinatown

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Thelma Ritter (1902-69)

-That must be your friend over there. They didn’t leave much of him (Evans). Must have taken out his heart, eh?: “Bubba (Geoff Parry),” Mad Max (1979)

-When it’s time to shoot, shoot, don’t talk: “Tuco (Eli Wallach),” The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

-There are two kinds of people in this world, Tuco, those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig: “Blondie (Eastwood),” The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

-You’re (Eastwood) the son of a 1000 fathers, all of them bastards, too!: “Tuco (Wallach),” The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

-How’s that calf ever gonna’ dry off if she keeps licking her?: “Arnold (Butch Jenkins),” Our Vines Have Tender Grapes (1945)

-I’m five (Jenkins). Oh!: “Viola Johnson (Frances Gifford),” Our Vines Have Tender Grapes (1945, most adorable ‘Oh’ in movie history)

-You’re capable of such beautiful dreams and horrible nightmares: Vegan as dad of “Ellie Arroway (David Morse),” Contact (1997)

-In the few hours we had together we loved a lifetime’s worth: “Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton),” The Terminator (1984)

-I’ll be back: “T-800 Model 101 cybernetic android (Arnold Schwarzenegger),” Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991 (in friendship v, 1984 bad guy))

-There is no fate but what we make: the younger “John Connor (Ed Furlong),” Terminator 2: Judgment Day

-Phoebe, I call myself Phoebe (Bates)! And so you should: “Addison DeWitt (George Sanders),” All About Eve (1950) (sarcasm)

-It’s time the piano learned it didn’t write the concerto!: “Lloyd Richards (Hugh Marlowe),” All About Eve

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-Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy nite!: “Margo Channing (Bette Davis),” All About Eve

-Some folks say things never die, they just go on livin’ in a different way: “Will (Dan) (George Montgomery),” Gun Duel In Durango (1957)

-♫ Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies, farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain ♫: “Quint (Robert Shaw), Jaws (1975)

-Here lies the body of Mary Lee, died at the age of a hundred and three, for 15 yrs she kept her virginity, not a bad record in this vicinity: “Quint (Shaw), Jaws

-Know the thing about a shark he’s got…lifeless eyes, black eyes like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya,‘ doesn’t seem to be livin,’ until he bites ya,’ and those black eyes roll over white and then…aw then you hear that terrible high pitched screamin,’ the ocean turns red in spite of all the poundin’ and hollerin’ and they all come in and they…rip ya’ to pieces: “Quint (Shaw), Jaws

-I used to be afraid of the water (“Brody”). I can’t imagine why: “Hooper,” Jaws

-Do you think this was all the work of little Don Segretti? “Deep Throat (Hal Holbrook),” All The President’s Men (1976)

-I screwed up (revealing LBJ plan to replace FBI’s J. Edgar Hoover), but I wasn’t wrong: Bradlee (Jason Robards), All the President’s Men

-I have a wife, family, dog and a cat!: Clawson voice, All The President’s Men

-You know the results of the latest Gallup Poll? Half the country never even heard of the word Watergate. Nobody gives a shit. You guys are probably pretty tired, right? Well, you should be. Go on home, get a nice hot bath, rest up, 15 minutes. Then get your asses back in gear. We’re under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. Nothing’s riding on this except the, uh, first amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. Not that any of that matters, but if you guys fuck up again, I’m going to get mad: Ben Bradlee (Jason Robards), All the President’s Men

-Death ends a life, but it doesn’t end the relationship which struggles on in the survivors mind towards some resolution which it may never find: “Gene Garrison (Gene Hackman),” I Never Sang to My Father (1970)

-For over a thousand years Roman conquerors returning from the wars enjoyed the honor of a tumultuous parade. In the procession came trumpeters, musicians and strange animals from conquered territories, together with carts laden with treasure and captured armaments. The conquerors rode in a triumphal chariot, the dazed prisoners walking in chains before him. Sometimes his children robed in white stood with him in the chariot or rode the trace horses. A slave stood behind the conqueror holding a golden crown and whispering a warning that all glory is fleeting: General George S. Patton (George C. Scott), Patton (1970)

-I have alot of faults, Brad, but ingratitude isn’t one of ‘em. I owe you alot. Hell, I know I’m a prima donna. I admit it. What I can’t stand about Monty is, he won’t admit it: General Patton (Scott), Patton

-Who said anything about Palermo (Gen.Patton)? I can read a map! General Omar Bradley (Karl Malden), Patton

-What son of bitch (Bradley) is in charge of this operation (G.I.)!? I don’t know but they aughta’ hang him: Omar Bradley (Malden), Patton

-Gen. Alexander says you are not to take Palermo (staffer). Ask him if he wants me to give it back: George Patton (Scott), Patton

-You’re right, Dick, the world grew up. Hell of a shame…god how I hate the 20th century: George Patton (Scott), Patton

-You (Guinness)? Youuuuuuu: “Commander Shears (William Holden),” The Bridge On the River Kwai (1957)

-Go Bears!: Hooker #2 (Melissa Peterman), Fargo (1996) (context)

-Thanks a bunch!: “Chief Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand),” Fargo

-Being crazy about a woman (Burnstyn) like her was always the right thing to do: “Sam the Lion (Ben Johnson),” The Last Picture Show (1971)

-Her and her husband was…young and miserable with one another like so many young married folks are: “Sam (Johnson),” The Last Picture Show

-Sonny, your food’s gettin’ cold: “Sam (Ben),” The Last Picture Show (mercy)

-We play the game, fate controls the cards: “Grandpere (A.Hale),” Algiers (38)

-Who ever heard of starting a war in December!: “Violet Price (Spring Byington),” The Enchanted Cottage (1945)

-Get up, Spartacus, you Thracian dog! Roman legion (?), Spartacus (1960)

-You might even be intelligent..dangerous for a slave: “Marcellus,” Spartacus

-Most Romans love her (the City) as their mother but Crassus (Olivier) dreams of marrying the old girl: “Gracchus (Charles Laughton),” Spartacus

-It would take a great woman to get Crassus to fall out of love with himself: “Gracchus (Laughton), Spartacus

-When a free man dies he loses the pleasure of life. A slave loses his pain. Death is the only freedom a slave knows. That’s why he’s not afraid of it: Spartacus (Kirk Douglas),” Spartacus

-You’ve already been made a fool (Dall), let’s not add the trappings of a clown: Crassus (Laurence Olivier), Spartacus

-I am Spartacus!: “Antoninus et al (Tony Curtis et al),” Spartacus

-Let us drink to a new world of gods and monsters!: “Dr. Pretorius (Ernest Thesiger),” Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Hattie McDaniel (1895-52)

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-It was a glorious time. The wise guys were all over the place. It was before Appalachia: “Henry Hill (Ray Liotta), Good Fellas

-Now go home and get your fuckin’ shine-box (to “Tommy”)!: “Billy Batts (Frank Vincent),” Good Fellas (1990)

-I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you, I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how, how am I funny?: “Tommy (Joe Pesci),” Good Fellas

-If there is any doubt, there is no doubt: “Sam (Robert De Niro),” Ronin (1998)

-What we have here is…a failure…to communicate: “Captain (Strother Martin),” Cool Hand Luke (1967)

-Stay down, your beat!: “Dragline (G.Kennedy),” Cool Hand Luke (empathy)

-There’s gonna’ be a whole lotta’ world shaking going on, Luke. We’ll send ya’ a postcard: “Dragline (Kennedy),” Cool Hand Luke

-Sometimes nothin’ can be a real cool hand: “Luke (Newman),” Cool Hand Luke

-What, are you calling me a liar (Dragline)? No, just that you have a common & likable tendency towards exaggeration: “Society (J. Cannon),” Cool Hand Luke

-Nobody can eat 50 eggs: “Society (J.D. Cannon),” Cool Hand Luke (stubborn)

-♫ As he started to go I started to know how it feels when the universe reels ♫: “Esther Smith (Judy Garland),” Meet Me In St. Louis (1944)

-♫ Soooo, have yourself a merry little Christ..mas…nooooooooooooooow ♫: “Esther (Garland),” Meet Me in St. Louis

-You shouldn’t kiss a girl when you’re wearing that gun, leaves a bruise: “Helen (Velma) (Claire Trevor),” Murder My Sweet (1944)

-Hey, you done good, buddy boy (Smith). Thanks, Daddy-Oh!: “Anybody’s (Susan Oakes),“ West Side Story (1961)

-Huh?: ”Del Griffith (John Candy),” Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987) (his surprise after plowing into a bad motel and just before burn-rubber getaway)

-We have about as good a chance of playing pick-up-sticks with our butt-cracks as we do getting a flight out of here tonite: “Del Griffith (John Candy),” Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)

-Love is not a big enough word (for my wife): “Del Griffith (John Candy),” Planes, Trains and Automobiles

-Daddy! “Marti Page (O. Burnette),” Planes, Trains and Automobiles (home)

-Those aren’t pillows! “Neal (Steve Martin),” Planes, Trains and Automobiles

-You don’t need to be crazy to do this but it doesn’t hurt: “Buck Kennedy (Buck Jones) (roping routine),“ Hollywood Round-Up (1935 (context))

-So shines a good deed in a weary world (de Vere): “Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder),” Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

-I aughta’ take this pencil and draw a circle around you: “Billie (Judy Holliday),” Born Yesterday (1950)

-I’ve never been insured in my life. I don’t believe in it. There’s no risk: “Lewis Medlock (Burt Reynolds).” Deliverance (1972)

-Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything: “Lewis Medlock (Burt Reynolds),” Deliverance

-This corn is special, isn’t it?: “Bobby Trippe (Ned Beatty),” Deliverance (to break the mood (“Ed”) at the dinner table)

-Why do you wanta’ go messin’ with that river (Seamon Glass)? Because it’s there!: “Lewis (Reynolds),“ Deliverance

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Frank Morgan (1890-49)

-Well, we’re back (gasp) in the car again (Mazzello). Well, at least you’re out of the tree: “Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill),” Jurassic Park (1993)

-They remember: “Robert Muldoon (Bob Peck),” Jurassic Park

-What are you rebelling against, Johnny ((Maley)? What do ya’ got?: “Johnny (Marlon Brando),” The Wild One (1953)

-I’m gonna’ go down there (pier) and get my rights: “Terry Malloy (Marlon Brando),” On the Waterfront (1956)

-I coulda’ been contender. I coulda’ been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am: “Terry (Brando),” On the Waterfront

-Then shut your mouth…before your guts run out: “Crunch (Frank Mazzola),“ Rebel Without a Cause (1955)

-And what about you (Wood)? Are you always at ringside?: “Jim ‘Jamie’ Stark (James Dean),” Rebel Without a Cause

-Welcome to the wonderful world of pussy, Meadows: “Signalman 1st Class ‘Badass’ Budusky (Jack Nicholson),“ The Last Detail (1973)

-Madam, please!: “Andrew Larkin (Van Johnson),” In the Good Old Summertime (1949, to repel anymore wind-aided brush-ups from “Veronica”)

-What am I, a criminal, a murder (Granger)? You might be if you keep driving through town at 85 miles per hour: “Cindy (Jane Powell), Small Town Girl (53)

-You want a player who won’t fight back? I want a ball-player who’s got the guts to not fight back: Rickey (Minor Watson), The Jackie Robinson Story (1950)

-30,000 (“Baptista (Kaszner)” offer to marry his daughter)! Fatheeeeeer!: “Petruchio (Howard Keel),” Kiss Me Kate (53) (deal struck)

-Well!? I wont to be alone: “Grusinskaya (Greta Garbo),” Grand Hotel (1932)

-Grand Hotel, always the same, people come, people go, nothing ever happens: “Dr. Otternschlag (Lewis Stone), Grand Hotel

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-Dyin,’ that’s easy, choosin’ a way to live, that’s the hard part: “Ben Vandergroat (Robert Ryan),” The Naked Spur (1953)

-How perfectly delightful it is to be sure.” Robert Crumb, Crumb (1994)

-Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast: “Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong),” King Kong (1933)

-Fortune’s ally to the brave: “Zeus (Laurence Olivier),” Clash of the Titans (81)

-What was his business (cop)? He used to be a big-shot: “Panama Smith (Gladys George),” The Roaring Twenties (1939)

-They aughta’ put you in mass production: “Fred (Dana Andrews),” The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) (to Theresa Wright)

-It’s funny, the things we love best are either illegal, immoral or make us fat: “Terry McKay (Irene Dunne),” Love Affair (1939)

-Who’s this (#2 on phone)? It’s me..it’s you..it’s us (#1)! Hold on a second (#2). Great, now I can’t even talk to myself: “’Steve (Keaton),’” Multiplicity (96)

-Sad state of affairs when a man has to indulge his vices by proxy: “General Sternwood (C. Waldron),” The Big Sleep

-You’re the only one I’ve met who didn’t claim to know everything in the whole world: “Collister (Beeson Carroll),” Bound for Glory (1976)

-He’s (workin’ folk) afraid to smile ‘cause somebody’s gonna’ swipe his teeth out of his mouth: Woodrow Wilson Guthrie (David Carradine), Bound for Glory

-She knows! Anne Sullivan (Anne Bancroft), The Miracle Worker (1962 (With Anne’s help, blind – deaf girl Helen Keller has an epiphany)

-I’m not gonna’ live by their rules, anymore!: “Phil Connor (Bill Murray),” Groundhog Day (1993 (driving car on train-tracks))

-Sextus, you once said ‘how’ to fight an idea…with another idea: “Messala (Stephen Boyd),” Ben Hur (1959)

-Bravely stated: “Sheik Ilderim (Hugh Griffith),” Ben-Hur (1959 (sarcasm)

-The cheaper the crook (Cook) the gaudier the patter: “Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-Why shouldn’t you (guess) if you’ve nothing to conceal (D.A. (J.Hamilton))? Everybody has something to conceal: “Spade (Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-You have always, I must say, a smooth explanation ready (Lorre). What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?: “Sam (Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-You are a liar (Bogart). I am. I’ve always been a liar (Astor). Well don’t, don’t brag about it. Was there any truth at all in that yarn? Some. Not very much: “Brigid O’Shaughnessy (Mary Astor),” The Maltese Falcon

-Suppose I wouldn’t tell you anything at all. What would you do, something wild and unpredictable (Astor)? Maybe: “Sam (Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-What is it (Ward Bond)? The a…stuff that dreams are made of: “Sam Spade (Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes. You would be amazed, alot of shopping malls…DON’T repeat that!: “Megan (McCarthy),” Bridesmaids (’11)

-Temptation resisted is the truest measure of character: “Louis Dega (Dustin Hoffman),” Papillion (1973)

-I know, I know, feed ‘em, fly ‘em, then forget ‘em: “Ace Boreman (William Gargan),” Women in the Wind (1939)

-Is there a Northwest passage (Hussey)? Who knows. It’s always a man’s dream to find a short route to his heart’s desire: “Langdon Towne (Robert Young),” Northwest Passage (1940)

-Do you wanta’ play with us? Okay. Say ‘ello to my l’il friend!: “Tony Montana (Al Pacino),” Scarface (1983) (then, rat-a-tat-tat)

-I’m gonna’ make him (John Marley (“Director Jack Woltz”)) an offer he can’t refuse: “Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando),” The Godfather (1972)

–Ohhhh! It damn hurts (Fowler snuffing a match)! Certainly it hurts (O‘Toole). Well what’s the trick then? The trick, William Potter is not minding that it hurts: T.E. Lawrence (Peter O‘Toole), Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

-Aqaba! T.E. Lawrence (O’Toole), Lawrence of Arabia (it begins)

-Nothing is written: T.E. Lawrence (O‘Toole), Lawrence of Arabia

-He (Lawrence) was a scholar, a poet and a mighty warrior. He was also the most shameless exhibitionist since Barnum & Bailey: “Jackson Bentley (Arthur Kennedy),” Lawrence of Arabia

-But the Krell forgot one thing: Monsters, John (Neilson), monsters from the Id: “Lt. “Doc” Ostrow (Warren Stevens),” Forbidden Planet (1956)

-It is through error that man tries and rises. It is through tragedy he learns. All the roads of learning begin in darkness and go out into the light…Hippocrates of Cos: The Body Snatcher (epilogue) (1945)

-J’adore le passé. C’est beaucoup plus pacifique que le présent (I adore the past. It’s so much more peaceful than the present): “Meneur de Jeu (“Game Master”) (Anton Walbrook),” La Ronde (1950)

-♫ Gone again, skip to my Lou, gone again, skip to my Lou, gone again, skip to my Lou, skip to my Lou my Darling ♫: “Charlie (K. Curtis),” The Searchers (56)

-I too believe that everyone should have a chance at a breath-taking piece of folly, once in his life: “Mrs. Brown (Ann Revere),” National Velvet (1945)

-What’s the meaning of goodness if there isn’t a little badness to overcome?: “Mrs. Brown (Ann Revere), National Velvet

-So many currents in such a little puddle: “Mr. Brown (Crisp),” National Velvet

-That’ll be a dispute to the end of time, Mr. Brown, whether it’s better to do the right thing for the wrong reason or the wrong thing for the right reason: “Mrs. Brown (Ann Revere),” National Velvet

-Who’s been in my box (Velvet)? Me (Donald). ‘I (Edwina correcting).’ You, too? “Donald Brown (Jackie Jenkins), National Velvet

-I’ll have a dubonnet with a twist (in the old Russian Tea Room (NYC)): “Michael Dorsey / Dorothy Michaels (Dustin Hoffman),” Tootsie (1982)

-I need a $1000 (Hoffman). For what (Pollock)!? For what! For what!: “Michael (Dorothy) (Hoffman),” Tootsie

-Time for courage: “Sydney Carton (Ronald Colman),” A Tale of Two Cities (1935) (pre-guillotine, comforts young “seamstress (Isabel Jewells)”)

-Makes the crown jewels in the Tower of London look like costume jewelry: “Peachy Carnehan (Peter O’Toole),” The Man Who Would Be King (1975)

-There hasn’t been a kiss like that since the beginning of time: “Peter Standish (Leslie Howard),“ Berkeley Square (1933)

-Oh, only which three books would you (Lloyd) have taken?: “David Filby (Alan Young),” The Time Machine (1960, at close)

-Max, how do you feel about getting old? I always feel like I’m starting over: “Jackie Brown (Pam Greer),” Jackie Brown (1997)

-Oh, how I love you, love you, love you, love you (to Garner)!: “Karen Wright (Audrey Hepburn),” The Children’s Hour (1961)

-Move your bloomin’ ass!: “Eliza (Audrey Hepburn),“ My Fair Lady (1964)

-Why don’t you sing a song (Rooney)? How do you know I can sing (Garland)? You sing when you walk, when you talk. Why your eyes, why they’re singing right now: “Tommy Williams (Mickey Rooney),” Babes on Broadway (1941)

-I’m watching you! “Jack Byrnes (Robert Di Nero (father) with two-fingered gesture to Ben Stiller),” Meet the Parents (2000)

-Nothing so revolting to the young as the sight of their elders at play: “Rupert Venneker (Peter Ustinov),” The Sundowners (1960)

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-If it ain’t Wham, it ain’t ham!: “Gussie (Louise Beavers),” Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)

-Mrs. Blandings little flower sink!: “Jim Blandings (Cary Grant),” Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (thoroughly frustrated)

-I do not care that you are not Chapel. I am with you! “Mr. Jones (Rhys Williams),” The Corn is Green (1945)

-I have never talked to a man for more than five minutes without wanting to box his ears: “Miss Lilly Moffat (Bette Davis),” The Corn Is Green

-If you do I shall strike you (“Bessie”) so hard I shall probably kill you: “Miss Moffat (Bette Davis),” The Corn is Green (young tart plays risky game)

-What happened (Dunnock)? We’ve met the Squire (Bruce) and he is ours! In ten minutes I have given the Squire the impression that he spends his whole time posturing genius in the illiterates. How? By soft soap and courtesy: “Lily Moffat (Bette Davis),” The Corn Is Green

-One shot: “Michael Vronsky (Robert De Niro),” The Deer Hunter (1978)

-You know we’re always fascinated when we find leg-irons with no legs in ‘em: “Deputy U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones),” The Fugitive (1993)

-Newman (Gerard)? Yes (Wood)? What are you doing? Thinking. Well think me up a cup of coffee and a doughnut with some of those sprinkles on ’em! “Deputy Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones),” The Fugitive

-Can you hear me now? Yes (Wood). I don’t bargain: “Gerard,” The Fugitive

-They killed my wife (Ford). I know Richard, I know: “Gerard,” The Fugitive

-I thought you didn’t care (Harrison Ford)? I don’t. Don’t tell anybody: “Deputy Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones),” The Fugitive

-What I want from each and every one of you is a hard target search in every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive’s name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him!: “Gerard (Jones),” The Fugitive

-Look at this, we’re eatin’ oranges & makin’ IDs: “Gerard (Jones),” The Fugitive

-If they can dye the river green today, why can’t they dye it blue the other 364 days of the year?: “U.S. Marshal Robert Biggs (Daniel Roebuck),” The Fugitive

-And not only did they all come from healthy livers, they all came from the same liver (Lynch). Kathy you beauty: “Dr. Kimble (Harrison Ford),” The Fugitive

-Don’t worry, we’ll find her (Mom) for you. What are you, a football player, baseball player? Football (Robinson). Hey Doctor, they sent this one from downstairs. Get this one into Room Four, stat (Bruce)! Bye-bye, Joel: “Dr. Richard Kimble (Ford),” The Fugitive

-Richard!: “Gerard (Jones),” The Fugitive (spots RK descending City stairway)

-Hi!: Registration-table greeter girl (?), The Fugitive (flashback)

-Officer, officer, there’s a man in a blue coat waving a gun and screaming…at a woman: “Dr. Kimble (Ford),” The Fugitive (throwing off the cops)

-Frederick Sykes, 45, ex-cop and quite the clothshorse: “U.S. Marshal Erin Poole (L. Scott Caldwell),” The Fugitive

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Agnes Moorehead (1900-74)

-Wait a minute. I played a dirty trick on you (Garland). You better know, then you won’t feel so bad. When I offered to give you that song…I really didn’t mean it. I was playing you for a sap. I wanted to fix it so you’d give me a chance to try out with you. And all that sob stuff about me being ashamed of myself, that was just a bid for sympathy. I wasn’t ashamed, I thought I was being pretty cute. I’m ashamed now though. And this time, when I say I’m a heel, well, I’m not kidding: “Harry Palmer (Gene Kelly),” For Me and My Gal (1942)

-Is that alright with you (McNally)? You bet it’s alright!: “Jo Hayden (Judy Garland),” For Me and My Gal

-Hello, America, hang on to your lights, they’re the only lights left in the world!: “Huntley Haverstock (Joel McCrea),” Foreign Correspondent (1940)

-It is a crush, isn’t it (shelter)?: “Myra (Vivien Leigh),” Waterloo Bridge (1940)

-Myra’s just a sweet child, you can see that, can’t you (Field)? I can see that: “Captain Roy Cronin (Robert Taylor),” Waterloo Bridge

-You’re rather matter-of-fact (“Roy (Robert Taylor)”). And you’re a romantic: “Myra (Vivian Leigh),” Waterloo Bridge

-Here, take this (Leigh). You’re lucky charm (Taylor)!?: “Roy (Taylor),” Waterloo Bridge (+ music = most sentimental)

-War is no excuse for indecorum: “Madame (Ouspenskaya),” Waterloo Bridge

-The worst ain’t so bad when it finally happens: “Bob Curtin (Tim Holt),” The Treasure of Sierra Madre (1948)

-That’s Africa for you, one man dead, two beasts killed and no one the better for it: “Trader Horn (Harry Carey),” Trader Horn (1931)

-The lions let the jackal join in the kill (because) the jackal helps lead the lions to water: “Horn (Carey),” Trader Horn

-I don’t know why they named it after Thompson (gazelle). I showed him his first. Thompson was one of those guys who liked to carve his name into trees: “Aloysius ‘Trader’ Horn (Harry Carey),” Trader Horn

-(Africa) Either you’re killing someone to eat ‘em or trying to keep someone from killing you: “Trader (Carey),” Trader Horn

-One-she (one more (Sioux)): “Wind In His Hair (Rodney Grant),” Dances With Wolves (1990, warrior urges “Lt. Dunbar” to sit for one more story)

-This one’s for your shirts (Frankenstein), this other’s just for socks and poo-poo undies: “Elizabeth (Madeline Kahn),” Young Frankenstein (1974)

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-Well, uh, this Delores, she, uh, she’s real proud of what nature done for her, you know? Anyway, she asks me, she says, uh, ‘Don’t you think I got classy build?’ And I say, ‘Sure.’ And so she starts to show me, but I didn’t do nothin’ wrong. I just didn’t stop her form tryin’ to prove her point: “Harvey (Scott Wilson), In the Heat of the Night (1967, speaking to “Tibbs” in jail cell)

-I’ve had it up to here (hand to throat) with your town (Poitier)! Boy, it would give me a world of satisfaction to horsewhip you, Virgil (Steiger)! My father used to say that (laughing), even did, once or twice (Poitier). Yeah, well, not enough to suit me!: “Chief Gillespie (Rod Steiger),” In the Heat of the Night (1967)

-I’m tellin’ you that you’re gonna’ stay. You’ll stay here if I have to have your chief remind you what he told you to do. But I don’t think I have to do that, you see? No. Because you’re so damned smart. You’re smarter than any white man. You’re just gonna’ stay here and show us all. You could never live with yourself unless you could put us all to shame. You wanta’ know something, Virgil? I don’t think that you could let an opportunity like that pass by: “Chief Gillespie (Rod Steiger),” In the Heat of the Night

-I can pull that fat-cat down. I can bring him right off this hill (Poitier)! Oh boy, man, you’re just like the rest of us? “Chief (Steiger),” In the Heat of the Night

-Thank you. Bye bye (Steiger). Bye (Poitier). Virgil? You take care now, ya’ hear (Steiger)? Yeah (Poitier (smile)): In the Heat of the Night (progress)

-With experience it seems possible to control the flow of the paint to a great extent. And I don’t use, I don’t use the accident because I deny the accident: Jackson Pollock (Ed Harris), Pollock (2000)

-Modern art, to me is nothing more than the expression of the contemporary aims of the age that we’re living in: Jackson Pollock (Ed Harris), Pollock

-There are no stars (in rugby). That’s soccer: “Frank Machin (Richard Harris),” This Sporting Life (1963)

-Well, don’t bother Sefton. I don’t like you. I never did and I never will (Graves)! Alot of people say that and the first thing you know, they get married: “Sgt. J.J.Sefton (William Holden),” Stalag 17 (1953)

-Ach soooo: “Sefton (Holden),” Stalag 17 (rat found)

-Welcome to Sherwood, me Lady! ”Sir Robin of Locksley (Errol Flynn),” The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

-The Internal Affairs people were here hours ago. Two college educated little pricks! Acted like they was born & breed in Ohio: “Mrs. Ritter (Geraldine Page),” The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984)

-Blood? we’re not fucking blood, we’re third cousins (Mickey Rourke). With Italians, it’s like twin brothers with the Irish: “Barney” the safe-cracker (Ken McMillan), The Pope of Greenwich Village

-You got a sense of honor, I can smell it in ya!’ “Barney” the safecracker (Ken McMillan),” The Pope of Greenwich Village

-I’m not just an entertainer, I’m an influence, wielder of opinion, a force: “Larry ‘Lonesome’ Rhodes (Andy Griffith),” A Face In the Crowd (1957)

-They’re trained-seals (audience). Throw ‘em a dead fish and watch ‘em flap their flippers: “Lonesome (Griffith),” A Face In the Crowd

-Wait’ll I get to California! Gonna’ reach up and pick me an orange whenever I want it, or grapes. That there’s somethin’ I ain’t never had enough of! Gonna’ get me a whole bunch a grapes off a bush and I’m gonna’ squash ’em all over my face and just let the juice drain down offa’ my chin (Grapewin). Pa-raise the Lord for victory (Tilbury)! Maybe I get me a whole washtub fulla’ them grapes and just sit in ’em and scrooge around till they was gone!: “Grampa Joad (Charlie Grapewin),” The Grapes of Wrath (1940)

-Well, maybe it’s like Casy says, a fella’ ain’t got a soul of his own, but only a piece of a big soul, the one big soul that belongs to everybody, and then…Then what, Tom (Darwell)? Then it don’t matter. Then I’ll be all around in the dark. I’ll be everywhere, wherever you look. Wherever there’s a fight so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, I’ll be there. I’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re mad and I’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re hungry and they know supper’s ready. And when our people eat the stuff they raise and live in the houses they build, why, I’ll be there too: “Tom Joad (Henry Fonda),” The Grapes of Wrath

-A woman can change better than a man can. A man lives in jerks. A baby’s born or then somebody dies, that’s a jerk. He gets a farm or loses one, and that’s a jerk. With a woman it’s all in one flow, like a stream, like little eddies, little waterfalls, but the river, it goes right on. Woman looks at it like that: “Ma Joad (Jane Darwell),” The Grapes of Wrath

-Maybe, but we’ve sure takin’ a beatin (Simpson). I know. Maybe that makes us tough. Rich fellas come up and they die, and their kids ain’t no good, and they die out. But we keep a-comin’. We’re the people that live. Can’t nobody wipe us out. Can’t nobody lick us. We’ll go on forever, Pa. We’re the people: “Ma Joad (Darwell),” The Grapes of Wrath

-Where to now (Faye)? Home: “Eric Stanton (Dana Andrews),” Fallen Angel (1945) (closing line – love realized)

-You (Fonda) look like the last grave over near the willow: “Jean Harrington (Barbara Stanwyck),” The Lady Eve (1941)

-Plastics (to “Ben”): “Mr. McGuire (Walter Brooke),” The Graduate (1969)

-Can I have it (Curtis)? Nooooo, an officer’d take from you at Ft Benson. This gun’s too good for an officer: “Sgt. Wilkes (Jay Flippen),” Winchester ‘73 (1950)

-Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma (banging pot)! “Rubrick (Steve Martin),” Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)

-Tranella speaks two languages, Italian and Brooklyn: Narrator on “Private Tranella (Richard Benedict),” A Walk In the Sun (1945)

-Don’t be a jerk all your life, take a day off: “Vic Dakin (Burton),” Villain (1971)

-Ahh, youth is wasted on the wrong people!: T-shirted man on porch (‘Why don’t you kiss her?!’) (Dick Elliott), It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

-Smack (on Geoffrey Lewis’ face)! Don’t ever point a gun at me! Understand?! Not even a twig (Eastwood)! Got it! You come from the hitters: “Goody (Geoffrey Lewis),” Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974)

-Why’d they move it (Bridges (old school house with the hidden loot)? History, history, damn it: “Thunderbolt (Clint Eastwood),” Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

-I don’t think of us as criminals, you know? I feel we accomplished something. A good job. I feel proud of myself, man. I feel like a hero: “Lightfoot (Jeff Bridges),” Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

popcorn-9m-wc-t-bresson-6-15-16

Steven Keys
Photo credit: Bonnie&Clyde, wc.cca, A.Koehne; M.Shearer, wc, 10.11.54, M.Feinstein; S.Tracy-E.Bartholomew, CC, 1937, MGM; J.Crawford, MGM, TLMC, 1937; M.Gandhi, wc, pre-1942; B.Davis, AllAboutEve, 1950; H.McDaniel, wc, 1939; R.Ryan-J.Leigh, MGM, wc, 1953; C.Grant-M.Loy, RKO, 3.28.45, wc; R.Steiger, wc, TUW, 1957; popcorn, wc, T.Bresson, 6.15.16
Posted: 2.16.17 @ 2:06pm EST; update 6.13; Copyright © 2017

NFL16 Cherry Picks W4: Presidents, Field Generals & Super Chiefs

28 Sep

One down, two to go. Phew!

With the first presidential debate of Election 2016 now in the books* and media spin-cycle on full-tilt, this NFL fan got to thinking about the prestigious prize Dollar Don and Capital Hill are both eyeing, the Commander-in-Chief job (adjustable hat included), and then what it takes once you’ve been voted the reins of leadership to make it a memorable tenure.

This phase in the Oval Office Chase is a little like the playoffs in sport: The TV camera test for the candidates is a whole ‘nother season, with both contenders starting over at 0-0.

On a gaffe (Ford, “No Soviet domination of E.Europe,” Carter using Amy as a “nuclear arms” standard (76), Dukakis playing opossum in failing to dress-down question-poser Bernard Shaw (CNN) for needlessly making Mike’s wife Kitty part of a crass death penalty hypo (“raped and murdered“) (‘88) and Papa Bush checking his watch (‘92)), a lead in the polls can evaporate faster than a fat NFL lead at the half (Swing Time), just as the candidate who tosses a tight, talking spiral for TD can make-up a poll deficit quicker than Tom Brady finds pay-dirt.

ford-851k-wc-grfl-1933-umFootball forensics aside, an NFL quarterback won’t bear near, nor near beer, the burdens of our Chief Executive, to be sure. He is, however, often referred to as a field general, empowered to muster his offensive troops in a Ulysses S. Grant-like forward-thrusting campaign to gain territory and vanquish an opponent. That’s the plan, anyway.

On the other hand, it’s also fair to say that while Presidents can sadly suffer the greatest of physical harm (Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, JFK (JV squad Harvard), Reagan wounded), rarely, if ever, must they bear the weight of a 200+ lbs, muscled-out, charging defender landing on his person as does Joe Quarterback.

In truth, QBs and CICs are pretty much worlds apart in the duties department. They do, however, have one thing in common: As Big Kahunas, both get the credit in victory, nearly all the blame in a loss.

So with that as backdrop, it’s a champion time to honor all those who bear lonely burden of leadership, in whatever endeavor, but here in particular, today’s top NFL field generals teamed with our nation’s finest Presidents over these past 240, both who’ve supped the champagne yet most certainly “suffer(ed) the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (Hamlet (de Vere)).”

Note: No QBRs have been referenced (I can read a stat-line) and no greenhorns considered (R -> 2y). As in politics, top candidates must be vetted and the highs & lows assessed with a dispassionate eye in order to gain a substantive read.

America’s Best Signal-Callers

brady-8-28-9-k-allison-wc-cca-2m-dc1) Tom Brady: New England Patriots, pocket-passer;

FDR: The only Commander-in-Chief besides the Cherry-chopper who could’ve been king (4x), his economic vision (New Deal) prescribed emergency medicine in seriously Depressed times, taking federal policy beyond simply feeding the greed, then he and his wife Eleanor undertook to save the world (WW2);

2) Ben Roethlisberger: Pittsburgh Steelers, mobile-PP;

Lincoln: Made the union whole, more human and gave his life in the process;

3) Aaron Rodgers: Green Bay Packers, mobile-PP

Washington: Iconic leader who led world’s first revolt against Imperium slavery since Spartacus (d.71 BC), gave the new office stature and nation a good start;

4) Drew Brees: New Orleans Saints, pocket-passer

Jackson: Old Hickory was the first non-elitist President who fought Indians, British invaders, banker thugs and brought the people and democracy to DC;

wilson-edithbolling-galt-wc-11m-6-1920-harrisewing-loc5) Eli Manning: New York Giants, pocket-passer

Wilson: Professor President (1856 – 24) with steely resolve to make America a world leader in war (WW1) and peace (LoN), whose 2nd wife Edith (Ellen) co-ruled after his stroke (1919) making her unofficially the first female U.S. President (1872 – 61);

6) Joe Flacco: Baltimore Ravens, pocket-passer

JFK: He saved planet Earth (CMC (’62)) and then lost his life in the risky battle against entrenched power;

7) Russell Wilson: Seattle Seahawks, mobile-manager

Cleveland: Should’ve been first 3-term Prez, designing the template for modern-era “government of the people, by the people, for the people;”

8) Phil Rivers: San Diego Chargers, pocket-passer

Jefferson: Crafty Purchase (Lou.) doubled nation’s size decades after he drafted America’s Declaration of Independence (‘76) and our first public college (UV);

lbj-fdr-allred-5-12-37-wc-259k-nara9) Alex Smith: Kansas City Chiefs, manager-PP

LBJ: Mis-policy in foreign war (Vietnam) did not derail efforts of this legislative juggernaut in making civil rights reality and honoring America’s seniors;

10) Matt Ryan: Atlanta Falcons, pocket-passer

Polk: Pragmatic, fiscally sound and productive, James was Mr. Manifest Destiny, adding thirteen (13) States in whole or part to America’s family of stars. Worn to the bone, he died 3 months post-term;

11) Andy Dalton: Cincinnati Bengals, pocket-passer

Truman: Plain-talking, former farmer, WWI major, haberdasher and pianist (Bacall) proved critics & premature press-men (Chicago Tribune, etc.) wrong with a strong, spirited & common sense administration;

12) Tony Romo: Dallas Cowboys, pocket-passer

Teddy: “Big Stick” policy boosts US clout, trust-bust sent checks monopoly-greed and initiates our national parks system. Celebrity turned progressive;

teddy-wc-loc-thmRounding Out Top 15

13) Cam Newton: Carolina, run-QB / James Madison;
14) Carson Palmer: Arizona, PP / Andrew Johnson;
15) Andrew Luck: Colts, mobile-PP / William McKinley

 

cherries-ripe-chirak-wc-605k-6-24-7Cherry Picks Week 4: “Nothing to fear but fear itself”

Miami (1-2) @ Cincy (1-2): 9.29 NFLN 8:25: Bengals win
Seattle (2-1) @ NY Jets (1-2): 10.2 Fox 1:00: ‘Hawks win
Bills (1-2) @ New England (3-0): CBS 1:00: Patriots win
Carolina Panthers (1-2) @ Atlanta Falcons (2-1) (GTW): Panthers win
Oakland Raiders (2-1) @ Baltimore Ravens (3-0) (GTW): Ravens win
Denver Broncos (3-0) @ Tampa Bay Bucs (1-2): CBS 4:05: Buccaneers win
Los Angeles Rams (2-1) @ Arizona Cards (1-2) (GTW): Fox 4:25: AZ wins
New Orleans Saints (0-3) @ San Diego Chargers (1-2): Fox 4:25: Saints win
Kansas City Chiefs (2-1) @ Pittsburgh (2-1) (GTW): NBC 8:30: Steelers win
NYG (2-1) @ Minnesota Vikings (3-0) (GTW): 10.3 ESPN 8:30: Giants win

Record: 14 – 17

* No clear winner from Monday night’s dialectic (WU in STL), though, there was little debate in the contest directly South in the Big Easy (ATL 45-32). But as Ms. Clinton, pre-debate poll leader, former White House decorator (1992-00) and of a much lengthier political résumé than her veritable newcomer opponent in Mr. Trump, her failure to deliver a haymaker of sorts might give the Don the win on points. But there are more rounds to go and whomever claims victory in this first foray had better not rest on their laurels and come out swinging-with-style in the next. Like NFL16, it’s still anyone’s fight to win or lose, i.e., wide open.

......NFL-symbol.wikiproject.6kbSteven Keys
NFL Hunch Line
Photo credits: G.Cleveland, wc.cca, 1903, Library-of-Congress, F.Gutekunst; G.Ford, wc, GRFL, 1933, UM; T.Brady, wc, 8.28.9, K.Allison, DC; W.Wilson, Edith-Bolling-Galt-Wilson, wc, Harris&Ewing, 6.1920; Edith-Bolling-Galt-Wilson, First-Lady, 1915-21, wc, LoC; FDR-Allred-LBJ, wc, 5.12.37, NARA; T. Roosevelt, wc, LoC; cherries-ripe, wc, Chirak, 6.24.7; NFL-symbol, wikiproject
Posted: 9.27.16 @ 9:22pm, edit @ 11:38 EST; Copyright © 2016

NFL16: $ales $oar, NFL Evades and No Forward Progress in Kaep Krusade

9 Sep

Colin Kaepernick’s Sit n’ Stew over his national anthem and white police officers is a big hit with some NFL jersey buyers (‘You’re not gettin’ it until Christmas, you know that, right?) but leaves him and his team about 9 yards shy of 1st & 10 with a playbook long on smack and short on answers.

— — —

America the democracy. That’s the game-plan, as long as Diebold® does its duty and those Electoral Collegians behave themselves. In truth, what we’ve really become is a consumerocracy. Oh…my…god.

China’s gaining ground on the consumer front but U.S.A. still holds commanding lead in the drive to grab (merchandise), gobble (gluten) and guzzle (HFCS & oil) like there’s no tomorrow. Course, if we don’t keep buying we can say bye-bye to the economy and “tomorrow” may be “another day” we just assume skip.

Some set-up, eh, buy or die? I can see it now, AT&T’s new ad campaign: ‘”(We’ve made you) an offer (you) can’t refuse,” and have a nice day.’

money-drawbag-2006-johnny-automatic-wc-thm*The Powers-that-be can chisel away at our liberties in a post-9.11 State of Alert and have consumers dancing on a string and we barely make a peep. But take away our cruise package, Big Gulp® and Facebook feed and watch the streets fill up faster than a 6am express lane.

An athlete who had been an NFL player of some note, though, appeared headed for a reserve role, makes a public-gesture-short-on-a-few-facts to purportedly bring attention, not to himself (oh-no), but to what he claims is a serious and pervasive national wrong (police misdeed), and the biggest societal response is a smattering of jock-joinder (Megan Rapinoe, Brandon Marshall, etc.) and correlating spike in sales of his NFL jersey, vaulting it to the treasured #1 spot (“Colin..Jersey“ / nymag.com / 9.7.16 / A.Raymond).

In Colin Kaepernick’s world, such a perch might just be more esteemed than the triple crown: An MVP, Super Bowl ring and a ♫ hip-hop ♫ chart-topper. Top it off with the Oprah interview and the man’s made.

But even as Kaep Krusader’s jersey likeness makes appearances at events and gatherings around the nation in coming months as the glitter garb, the mass of buyers probably won’t be taking to the streets in furtherance of his purported purpose (awareness & change), not if it interferes with The Simpsons schedule or a Walking Dead marathon.

kaep-10-27-13-wc-cca-d-hartwig-thumbThere are statements, then there are priorities. It’s 2016.

The act itself, Colin’s refusal to stand in a pre-season ceremony (v GB (8.26)) in allegiance with his nation’s flag and anthem in Key‘s Star-Spangled Banner, a hopeful gesture in show of patriotism, camaraderie and conformity, has been on rare occasion displayed by athletes in the past in one like form or another.

It was the timing and the man behind the gesture that caught most by surprise.

And it’s what has transpired since that opening act that has many passing a critical judgment on Mr. Krusader.

Being a believer in that Anglo-American tradition known as due process (Magna Carta (1215)), I felt obliged to give the would-be social advocate a fair chance to make his case. Push-back on forced conformity has its place. If I’m ever in a public arena where God Bless America gets amplified in snub of another bedrocker in the principle which separates that cantankerous twosome of church and state, watch this fan pull a Keys Krusade of his own, i.e., remain seated.

In that initial stage there was no Trump-like, knee-jerk reaction (love it or leave it) to Kaepernick’s sit-down strike from this quarter. Like it or not, unless it’s mean-spirited or clearly self-serving, we can all afford to lend an ear to hear-out the protestor, for a time. We’re a democracy, right? Right.

Time’s up.

I suspected self-service and politics were Colin’s true motives given the initial form of protest and timing, but wondered if something constructive, more hopeful might come from it. “(Prejudice) is forever busy and needs feeding.”

Then came the mock-socks and Krude Krusader exposed himself as a fraud.

.........Goodell.8.30.12.wc.2.9m.SSG.T.Wade.USMAThe socks took stage in 49ers final pre-season game in San Diego, depicting cartoon police figures as what appeared only white (pink) colored swine. Racist?

Anyone with a sincere beef on local or State police misdeed, and actionable cases do exist, need look no further than the U.S. Justice Department. President Obama’s enforcement arm oversees and is broadly empowered to intervene on any set of facts that even remotely relates to racial injustice in America.

All Kaepernick has achieved in substance from his juvenile display in petulant finger-point and high drama that singles out one profession, one race, a show that devolved into mean-spiritedness (mock-socks), is to administer one big booster shot to one man’s celebrity, a voting sector looking to pass ‘the buck’ of blame (Harry‘d nod ‘no‘), a ready platform for a smattering of jock-joinders (Rapinoe), claimed-victims who’ve more to say (Marshall, etc.) and then those who’d profit from Nike jersey sales and the like.

The Krudesader will be milking this bovine for as long as it gives juice. Probably about as long as Tim Tebow and his sponsors (Mets, etc.) will be milking his Heisman for all it‘s worth. But at least Timbo’s on his feet and giving it the old college try, I’ll give him that much.

For the NFL’s part, they’re apparently cool with Colin (“Roger Goodell“ / usatoday.com / 9.7). It took Roger Goodell and his team of law review legal eagles two weeks to decide on the appeasement approach to CK’s passion play.

goodell-wc-cca-7-10-08-sgt-b-delvecchio-afgh-616kI know of no other private enterprise that does more to encourage racial harmony and career opportunity for blacks and other minorities than does the NFL, which might explain the tepid, tardy response.

The Commissioner, as well as DeMaurice Smith (NFLPA) and his lawyers, could have penned a joint-statement that found Colin’s complaint too narrowly worded (white police), krude (socks), cuts too broad a swath (v. patriotism) and yet still respected his right to non-conformity. As reported, CBA does not require stand-at-attention.

Instead, the League and union, who have a close relationship with the U.S. military, took a page out of Ms. Clinton’s playbook and chose to tread lightly.

Most observers likely see Kaep in one of two lights: He fumbled on the play and then laughed about it (mock-socks), or, he ran it in for TD. No fence-sitting.

Oddly, even had Goodell come out in complete support of Kaepernick’s sit ‘n stew and the socks, supporters of the reserve signal-caller would most certainly still believe the Commissioner to be the devil. It is what it is, “a rose is a rose,” racism, from whichever direction it emanates (mock-socks), is still racism.

And don’t expect Kaep & Co. to make a call for consumer boycotts or anything weighty that would require self-sacrifice in their own top income sources or the buying public’s discretionaries department, though, it does appear others are forcing the issue a bit in that Mr. Marshall has reportedly been dropped as a spokesman by the Air Academy Federal Credit Union (“Broncos LB” / nbcsports / 9.9.16 / J.Alper). A decision to Brandon’s displeasure, no doubt, but guessing AAFCU is not his bread n’ butter account. Will the Krude Krowd see that severance and raise the stakes? Time will tell.

Above all, Colin, like Smith, Raja and Dick Sherman too, hold this truth to be self-evident: All consumers are created equal and endowed with an unalienable right to purchase without unreasonable restriction. On that, they all agree.

......NFL-symbol.wikiproject.6kbSteven Keys
NFL HunchLine
Photo credit: C.Kaepernick, wc.cca, Aukirk, 2.3.13; R.Goodell-soldier; 7.10.8, wc, Sgt.B.DelVecchio, Afghan; money-counting, J.Belmonte, 2004, wc; Money-drawbag, wc, 2006, Johnny-Automatic; Kaepernick, wc, 10.27.13, D.Hartwig; Goodell, wc, 8.30.12, SSG, T.Wade; R.Goodell-soldier; 7.10.8, wc, Sgt.B.DelVecchio, Afghan; Moneybags-stacks, wc, 1921, SRS, BauerLineInc; NFL-symbol, wikiproject
Posted: 9.9.16 @ 6:08pm, edit 9.10 @ 12:03am; Copyright © 2016

NFL16: No Herschel Heist (’89), But ‘Holy Crap,’ Vikes!

5 Sep

The Herschel Walker deal. If you followed NFL football 25 years ago you know what those words mean.

The Minnesota Vikings, specifically, their brain-trust of Mike Lynn (GM), head coach Jerry Burns and owner Max Winter, bet a good share of the fjord (farm) on the Dallas Cowboys All-Pro ball-carrier in hopes it would put ‘em over the top, i.e., get the Norsemen back on the Super stage.

The date: October 12, 1989.

The details: Vikings received former Heisman-winner Herschel Walker (UGA), who’d run wild in the defunct USFL (5562 (3)) and vacillated from exquisite to pedestrian in parts of four seasons with Dallas (3), plus four mid-round draftees (J. Reed). Cowboys got five Purple players and an armload of draft picks, most conditional but realized as three (3) 1Rs, three (3) 2Rs, a 3R and 6R., a pool from which toppers Alvin Harper, Darren Woodson and Emmitt Smith were had.

The general impression of the day? Lots o’ shock and a bit of awe.

..........Spielman.wc.8.4.14.M.Deery.wideMy personal take: Gilding the lily or, in those famous words of Elizabethan penmeister Edward de Vere (Shake-a-Spear), the Norsemen were “add(ing) another hue unto the rainbow (King John (1590s)).”

Talented Vikes had been knocking on the door the season prior, making NFCC and taking eventual winner DC down to the wire, unable to punch it in as final seconds ticked off. Darrin Nelson was their top ground-man (6-800 / 4.5+ per) and had a fine QB in Wade Wilson, a stout line (Zimmerman, Lowdermilk & Irwin), All-Pro TE Steve Jordan and all-everything in Anthony Carter. D wasn’t too shabby either with padded-up Pro Joey Browner in the secondary, Studwell & Solomon in the middle and pass-rush ruffians Chris Doleman and Keith Millard.

Pretty nice “rainbow.”

The result: Herschel was competent in his 2.75 years in purple (4.1 (3.2 PS (89))), but then so was Nelson. Some say he wasn’t employed properly. And that’d be balderdash. Imagine Gale Sayers, Chuck Foreman or Jerome Bettis failing to be used properly. Not possible. Hersch was rated the same (1514 (‘88)). When the handwriting was on the wall, Walker ran like he’d hit that wall and showed no interest in scaling it, not in Minneapolis.

Dallas parlayed 3-4 of Minnesota’s umpteen players & picks into key contributors to three Super Bowl wins in the 90s. Good but not a great result, and even then could’ve just as easily produced nothing of serious value.

..........Walker.5.14.10.wc.USArmy.J.VannucciDrafts are always a dice roll, regardless of research and pre-draft hype. Just as often as not, no matter the # of selections, any draft can be a bust, resulting in few or no long-term player benefits for the club.

More than the benefits Dallas received from Minnesota’s largesse, due in credit to the Cowboys and luck, it was the high expectations for Walker, poured by Jones and guzzled up by Minnesota dealers, that went unfulfilled and borne by the Vikings, which constitutes the crux of this historical trade.

And that’s the backdrop for what transpired last week on the NFL wheeler-dealer front, to offer some perspective on Saturday’s surprising Sam Bradford deal engineered between the Vikings current brain-trust in Rick Spielman (GM), Mike Zimmer (HC) and owner Zygi Wilf, and the Eagles inner-circle of Howie Roseman (GM), head coach Doug Pederson and their owner Jeff Lurie.

You can’t say Philly got a Herschel haul like Dallas did, getting two draft picks and cash (1R (‘17) + 4R (18) + $7M ($18M)), or that Minnesota mortgaged their future on the 6th-year signal-caller from OKC, (b.1987) as they did in 1989. But to those fans with a long memory, the vibrations that emanate from this present song will strike familiar flat notes with the former ditty of disaster.

.........Bradford.wc.USEmbassyLondon.thm.10.23.12Sam’s got real upside, there’s no doubt about that.

He’s a quality pocket-passer in his prime, more NFL vetted than was Walker. When healthy, he averages 3500+ pass, C% 60+ and a 20-13 TD-ratio. Not elite #s but solid, enough to help get one to the Conference title.

Bradford’s downside is that he’s injury-prone, beginning at close of his college days in Norman (UO) and a state which has subtracted time from two of his five pro campaigns (2010 / ‘13). One more concern not so easily quantified as injury debits and TD credits is Sam’s leadership level, more specifically, clutch capability. A question (?) mark.

Most perplexing and vexing about Minnesota’s adding Bradford, as too in the Walker case, is its arguable non-necessity. No gilding the lily here but the need is questionable because the quarterback spot appeared already well in-hand with veteran field general Shaun Hill’s patient presence on Vikings’ roster.

Some media report that Hill has been penciled-in as Vikings’ Week 1 starter.

The 10-year QB who’s been clip-boarding and offering insights to the project that has proven to be TD-challenged Ted Bridgewater, had been prepared for just such a circumstance yet couldn‘t have expected he’d be used merely as a bridge-QB, to bide time for a newly signed rosteree in Bradford to get acclimated.

.........Hill.wc.10.4.15.J.Beall.738kLoyalty is no favored virtue today, neither is composure (v. panic), but Hill under center gave Minnesota an experienced, proven presence in what could be Adrian Peterson‘s swan song in Land of 10,000 Lakes.

When given the opportunity, Shaun Hill has proven a quite capable matriculator.

The Maryland Terrapin began in brief with the Vikes in 2005, then moved to San Fran. As a starter for parts of 3 seasons he compiled what could be called an impressive rookie record in W-L (10-6), C% 62+, TD-ratio (23-11) and pass (3400+). That was a 49ers club that, like this current Minnesota group, was building to contendership (Singletary to Harbaugh) while his next stop was in Detroit which hasn’t had an NFL title since Bobby Layne.

As to Mr. Bridgewater, sidelined for the 2016 season with an ACL tear, he’s gotta’ be scratching his head as well.

It’s one thing to have your back-up fill the breach when you go down but to bring in a hired-gun still in prime, that can change the 2017 dynamic drastically, depending on the Vikes 2016 and if Ted returns in-tact, not unlikely given the wonders worked by today’s surgeons (See; All-Day (ACL)).

......Bridgewater.8.4.14.wc.M.Deery.6.5mCommentators must remember to tailor their views in knowledge they are not often privy to all facts and devilish details which imbue these sort of deals (moi). But as that wise Assyrian named Ahikar wrote many centuries ago, ‘a sparrow in thy hand is better than a thousand sparrows flying (Wikipedia)’ or an Eagle who went 7-7 (25-37) with 14 INTs. Put another way, ‘If it works, don’t fix it,’ Mr. Spielman.

If this deal proves a win-win for both teams, that’s just terrific. God knows Philly and Minnesota could use some good fortune.

While Eagles roll the dice in going all-in on rookie Carson Wentz who’s cut his QB-teeth on FCS competition (NDSU), then enticed Vikings to bite by assuming lion’s share of Bradford’s 2016 pay ($11M ($18M)), it’s the Purple who engage a slightly more risky game of chance in the Bradford deal in betting multiple top draft picks in apparent pass on a ready n’ able substitute in Mr. Hill.

Curses don’t exist except in minds of the malleable. The many misfortunes borne by NFL’s Minnesota franchise come not from boogie-men and demonic spells, nor a lack of generally wise management (2009 pick-up of Brett Favre, while costly in salary, proved sage (NFCC10), for a season, anyway), but instead from the lack of two All-Pro virtues: Patience and trust.

Of course, knowing when to make “adjustments (SB4)” and employing the art of tackling (NFCC 1999, ‘01) rank pretty high on that list, too.

......NFL-symbol.wikiproject.6kbSteven Keys
NFL HunchLine
Photo credit: Vikings, wc.cca, wordmark, 2004; R.Spielman, wc, M.Deery, 8.4.14; H.Walker, wc, USArmy, 5.14.10, J.Vannucci; H.Walker, RepPeterson, wc, 5.5.4, wc, PE4Life; Viktor, wc, M.Mekuk, 11.7.10, MN-NG; S.Bradford, wc, 10.23.12, USEmbassyLondon; S.Hill, wc, 10.4.15, J.Beall;
Posted: 9.5.16 @ 2:32am EST; Copyright © 2016