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Yore Movie Swells: Tasty Love Triangles and Bad Triangle Art In Celluloid Cinema

4 Jun

The Movie Love Triangle

The number three (3): It’s not just holy (Trinity), the tres is a basic element in life’s periodic table of circumstance. It’s found almost as often as carbon, chlorophyll and car chase scenes. Alot more fun than the number one but without all that pressure that can come with two.

What has three sides, fills with equal parts love, hate and confusion, shakes-out quicker than you can say Jack Robinson but takes an hour to drink in its full, rich flavor? A bad banana daiquiri? Take another swig. It’s the movie love triangle!

There’s something about having three of whatever it is that makes it a force to reckon with, the third adding balance when two gets a bit wobbly (The Quiet American (58 / 02)) or necessary tension to give the ride more spring (Kelly + Reynolds + O’Connor (Singin’ In the Rain (52)).

Some notable trios:

A good place to start is the nursery rhymes in the Three Little Pigs, Three Blind Mice and Goldie Locks and the Three Bears;

The bejeweled triple crowns in baseball and horse-racing;

Three strike (MLB – 1888) and three strike rules (crime convictions = life jail);

Early 20th century trio of bear Cubs in Joe Tinker (SS), Johnny Evers (2B) and Frank Chance (1B) (hot-corner Harry Steinfeldt forever in the shadow) who were the tar & nails that held their champion-ship together;

Memorable NHL scoring threesomes in the Punch (40s Habs Toe Blake, Elmer Lach and Maurice “Rocket” Richard), the Production (post-WW2 Red Wings in Gordie Howe, Frank Mahovlich and Alex Delvecchio) and Party lines (80s Blackhawks Al Secord, Dennis Savard and Steve Larmer);

Famous film trios The Three Musketeers (35), The Three Stooges (34), Paradise for Three (38) the Three Amigos (86 (ugh)), “Tuco” – “Blondie” & “Angel-eyes (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (66))” and The French Line with gorgeous Jane Russell, handsome Gilbert Roland and dedicated Arthur Hunnicutt (1954).

The New England championship triumvirate in current quarterback Tom Brady, head coach Bill Belichick and owner Robert Kraft.

Pop music loved the tres: The Three Degrees, Three Dog Night, songs “Knock Three Times“ and “♫ once, twice…three times a lady ♫.”

The big three Allied powers in WW2: Soviets, British and Yanks;

Our constitution-based government works its check and balance through the three branches of judiciary, legislative and executive powers.

There were the three bucks (4-6 pointers?) that showed-up in our backyard last summer just for a brief look-see.

And the tastiest lunchtime triad ever served up in the hot dog (uncured), bean soup & potato chips (mustard & pickle preferred, paper napkin a must).

The pointed passion circle is not as certain as death and taxes in life’s journey but it’s definitely in the top five, “definitely!”

A cinema staple since before the Swingline® started holding it all together, the love triangle fastens fans to their seats as sure as drama and mad-cap adventure, its popularity from the fact that the tricky triad holds a chapter in most biographies, whether you knew it or not (gulp).

But it’s on the silver screen where the crowded state of affairs takes on a curious, usually pretty interesting aura of angst.

The Hollywood pros in front and behind the camera can make almost anything look glamorous, from bad deeds (Bonnie and Clyde (67)) to something as simple as turning down bed sheets in prelude to a lustful encounter (This Sporting Life (63)). So why wouldn’t the love triangle translate too?

They began in the silents and ran strong well into the 1960s providing plots and pushing viewers to pick a side. By the polyester period (70s) the triangle had, for the most part, been shelved with the occasional re-appearance (Working Girl (88) / Titanic (97) / Amores Perros (00)), for old times sake (?).

The listing herein is not exhaustive of movie love triangles by any means, but examples of some of the worst, the best and how in spite of a terrible triangle a good time can still be had by viewers.

Three points to keep in mind: 1) There are good and there are bad L/Ts. Geometric juxtaposition is no guarantee for a good watch, unless Seiko’s keeping time; 2) The bad are not necessarily bad movies, in fact, some are good enough to keep you glued, with the tacky triad usually stemming from non-believability and a normally strong male lead (Lancaster, Mitchum, Garfield, etc.) written as a sap, and 3) Not all three sides need be of the human species, for included here is a big ape, Alien pods and even something as intangible as duty, the tangible kind found in the “Bushwood Country Club” pool (Caddyshack (80)).

The Bad Triangle

Baby Doll (56): Either kiss her (“Doll”) or cut her free, “Archie,“ but why you never gave “Silva” a swift kick in the pants I never understood.

Casablanca (42): Neck n’ neck with Citizen Kane to take vintage cinema’s Over-rated Cup (contemporary field is crowded) which explains why two of its three (+Bogart) leads in Paul Henreid and Ingrid Bergman never bought the hype. That she’d end up at his café to cheat on her Nazi-pursued husband is about as believable as Rita Hayworth a blonde (The Lady From Shanghai (47)).

Champion (49): Real-to-life in its portrayal of how brash boys (Douglas) always get the girl over the nice guys (Kennedy), buy a really, really bad boxing and babes movie. Was first big hit for film giants Stanley Kramer and Kirk while Ruth looks splendid in her white, one-piece swimsuit. And any pre-development shots of the California Pacific coast are always way, way cool.

Cleopatra (34 / 63): Don’t trust me, go ahead and watch. Pack a lunch (4h+).

Criss Cross (49): Only the marvelous mood-setting L.A. locales (Bunker Hill district, downtown, etc.) were believable.

East of Eden (55): All’s hunky-dory between “Abra (Harris)” and “Aron (Davalos)” who props his odd-ball brother “Caleb (Dean),” the later who turns their world upside down with wartime profiteering, stealing the girl’s heart, driving the jilted into the War to cause their father’s stroke. One bad triangle.

Gilda (46): Top tune (“Put the Blame On Mame”), copper Calleia at his best, Ford (fists) and Macready (cane) impress in the clutch but like Casablanca (42), former flames reuniting where they do is complete balderdash, this time down Argentina way, then add in Hayworth’s kooky choice in Nazi-sympathizer spouse (“Mundson”), all make this L/T…T/L (totally limp).

Holiday Affair (49): Cute film with judge Harry Morgan snapping off wisecracks like fireworks. A good Ajax scrub for bad-boy toker Bob Mitchum. But single-Mom Leigh dumping oxymoronic likable lawyer and long-time suitor Wendell Corey (“Carl”) for fly-by-seat-of-his-hobo-pants “Steve?” C’mon, “Connie!”

Humoresque (47): After she (Crawford) finally wins his heart and he (Garfield) finally makes up his mind, she takes the long walk into the sea of love.

It Came From Beneath the Sea (55): Shameless display of flirt and emasculation. Only wish the NMO (normal man out) Curtis (“John”) had taken the short, chain-smoking smart-ass Tobey character (“Pete”) and Howard Hughes’ girlfriend (?) Faith Domergue (“Les”) and clunked their heads together at close. So awkward even Ray Harryhausen’s typical top-tier SMA couldn’t save this bad boy…girl.

Out of the Past (47): This one is a love rectangle (square) where Jane Greer (“Moffat”) had allure in spades but like Burt Lancaster in The Killers (46) when the love-sick “Swede” practically commits suicide in letting tough guys Charles McGraw and William Conrad (“bright boy”) blow uncontested into his room to empty their revolvers, Robert Mitchum (“Bailey”) too plays the super sap.

Pal Joey (57): Even Sinatra’s voice can’t fuel this clunker.

Red Dust (32) (Mogambo (53)): Gable never runs out but adulteresses in both (Astor – Kelly) are so poorly scripted you wonder why they bothered.

Sabrina: (54) Paramount tabbed “terrific triangle” but usually sharp-as-a-tack Holden is scripted an idiot and Bogart’s bored until final smackdown.

Sleepless in Seattle (93): After respective hits When Sally Met Harry (89) and Big (88), Hanks and Ryan’s likeability ratings were higher than the Empire State Building, even as this triangulated affair (+ Bill Pullman) is too cute, too much kid (Malinger) and constitutes two too many remakes of a grand original, Love Affair (39) (See also; An Affair to Remember (57)).

Song of India (49): Triangle makes some sense (Sabu > Gail < Bey) but its resolution and laughter in final scene is preposterous…and cold.

Sunset Boulevard (50): Triangle again is believable enough (Swanson > Holden < Olson) but Bill’s bail on “Norma,” she not just a pretty face, is bogus.

The Cat People (42): French beauty Simone Simon can get catty but new hubbie Kent Smith (“Oliver Reed”) turns wolf with ‘friend’ “Alice (Randolph)” before honeymoon ends, leading this viewer hoping the feline feasts.

The Graduate (69): Mommie Dearest and vampish motives aside, “Benjamin (Hoffman)” was in clover with the “Mrs. (Bancroft)” but then got greedy to graze in posted pasture (Ross) to turn pathetic post-grad.

The Las Vegas Story: A marriage on the brink (Price + Russell) pushed over by an ex-lover (Mature) who investigates the husband. Guess who wins?

The Pace that Thrills (52): Vintage, daring motorcycle footage in neato-keeno but once again the bad boy (Williams) gets the gal (Carla Balenda).

The Painted Veil (34): Nice ending but Brent’s advances on Garbo feel forced. A build up to the love from happenstance would‘ve worked fine.

The Philadelphia Story (40): Kate’s not that likeable, harebrained haughty we loved so in Bringing Up Baby (38). She’s the other kind.

The Postman Always Rings Twice (46): Garfield plays out of his typical, strong, savvy persona into another unbelievable L/T super sucker for a fairly typical, scheming blonde (Turner). The ‘Crime Never Pay’s’ road-sign is posted early and makes for a long, painful drive (113m) on Sleeper Highway.

Two Guys From Milwaukee (46): Fun movie turns uncomfortable when once likable “Prince Henry (Dennis Morgan)” turns hound-dog (cad), made worse when the lady on point, Joan Leslie (“Connie”), proves full o’ fickle.

Vanessa, Her Love Story (35): Early talkie where the odd man out (Krueger) goes insane, then dies. That’s one sure way to break a triangle (ugh).

The Good Triangle

Amores Perros (00 / Mexican): Octavio y Susana y Ramiro.

An American Tragedy (31) (A Place In the Sun (52)): Triangulations are quite effective. In #1, Sydney’s smile, and other assets, captures your heart like the dark-haired radiance, among other assets, of rich girl Liz who “wow(s)” in #2 version. But on the whole, both drag out and sink themselves with identically absurd (prejudicial) courtroom boat re-enactments.

Black Narcissus (47): Nepalian nun noir.

Born Yesterday (50)

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (69)

Creature From the Black Lagoon (54): Another monster angle but this time a square that includes gill-man (x2). Though friendship replaced love, triangle took shape when Peter Benchley and Steve Spielberg turned Creature into Jaws (75).

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (88): Love (Caine) > con (Headly) < lust (Martin)

Doctor Zhivago (65): Ubiquitous “Yuri” is everywhere. Never know whose wife he’ll turn up in. First you admire, then hate him, cry and finally smile.

Fallen Angel (45)

Flowing Gold (40)

Gaslight (44)

Gone With the Wind (39): First you think of the greatest love triangle in cinema history (“Rhett > “Scarlett“ < “Ashley”), and you’d be right, then you remember big-eyed, big-hearted Melanie and the love rectangle (square) takes shape.

Great Day In the Morning (56): Love rectangle

Homecoming (48): Gutsy Gable, Turner and Baxter but Hodiak steals the show.

I Can Get It For You Wholesale (51)

I Know Where I’m Going! (45)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (56): Most Pro-McCarthy (anti-Red) films were awkward & obvious (Dan diss on “faith”) but IOTBS is a masterpiece of metaphor & emotion with an ending all can embrace: Kevin > Dana < Pods.

It Happened One Night (34)

King Kong (33): Cabot > Wray < Kong

Knife in the Water (62 / Polish): Triangle like only Polanski could forge.

Love Affair (39)

Miller’s Crossing (90)

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (41)

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (48): Husband, wife and lawyer.

Norma Rae (79)

Rain Man (88): “Charlie” > “Raymond” < “Dr. Bruner”

Raw Deal (48): Marsha Hunt, Claire Trevor and Dennis O’Keefe star.

Roman Holiday (53): Anglo-Roman fairytale (D.Trumbo) of checked and triangular love: Anne, Joe and Duty

Scarlet Street (45): “Lazy Legs” messed with the wrong bank clerk who had heart of an artist (Ed) but still had a Little Caesar (31) inside (Ouch!).

Song of Love (47)

Spartacus (60): “Spartacus” and “Varinia” and “Crassus”

Sudden Fear (52): Joan still rode crest of the wave churned up by Mildred Pierce (45), proving equal to the challenge anted-up by slinky Gloria.

The Best Years of Our Lives (46): Nobody ever scored on the rebound (“Marie” > “Fred” > “Peg”) like “Captain Fred.” And I don’t care that it’s just a movie, that closing scene with Dana and Teresa pulled together like magnets is pure love.

The Big Country (58): “Jim” and “Julie” didn’t know it, but they were squaring-off with “Pat” and “Steve” just after they did the “deed”…for “Old Muddy.”

The Big Sky (52)

The Blot (21 / silent)

The Earrings of Madame de… (53): Surname excluded to protect the innocent.

The Kid from Texas (39)

The Macomber Affair (47): Tale of a troubled twosome on African hunt with a guide in the middle. Self-discovery comes at the highest price while question of intent remains as open with Hemingway as it did with Theo Dreiser.

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (62)

The Man With the Golden Arm (55): Sinatra’s best as under-rated Eleanor bravely plays the part that no dishy dame wanted.

The Night of the Iguana (64): Maybe the most psychologically instructive and then ultimately heartfelt love triangle in cinema history.

The Pope of Greenwich Village: “Paulie” > “Charlie” < “Diane”

The Red Shoes (48): One a troubled triangle of personal love (“Boris” > “Vicky” < “Julian”), inter-locking with a 2nd that, for a time, formed a perfect triad of artistic expression in dance, composition and production. TRS is in that larger-than-admitted group of movies (100 +/-) in consideration for greatest all-time.

The Seventh Veil (45): Not surprising that the sensuous, soft Ann Todd (“Francesca”) could command a pentagon of love.

The Sheepman (58)

The Spy In Black (39)

The Third Man (49): “Holly” > “Anna” < “Harry”

Trader Horn (31)

Witness (85)

Working Girl (88): Two triangles for Melanie Griffith and Harrison Ford, one each for Sigourney Weaver and Alec Baldwin, I think. At this point I’m getting a little geometrically opposed, if you know what I mean.

Steven Keys
Photo credit: JamesCVanTrees, 1922, Mitchell-camera, wc.cca; pizza-triangles, 4.5.15, sunny-mama, wc; three-deer-illuminated, Haifa, German-colony, wc, Yuval-Y, 12.18.10, CC-GFDL; Cleopatra, 1963, 20CF, wc, R.Harrison-E.Taylor; Sabrina, 1954, Paramount, W.Holden-A.Hepburn, wc; DoctorZhivago, 1965, O.Shariff-J.Christie, wc, F.Young, MGM; ScarletStreet, cop-E.Robinson-J.Bennett, wc, UP, 1945; TheRedShoes, Ballerinailina, 1948, wc.cca, TheArchers, ADA; popcorn, T.Bresson, wc.cca, 6.15.16
Posted: 5.25.17, re-post 6.4 @ 6:36pm (photo) EST; Copyright © 2017

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Penguins on Parade & Vision of Vegas Bookend Dicey NHL16

16 Jun

Checks & Balances

Hail the Pittsburgh Penguins, 2015-16 NHL Stanley Cup champions.

Led by their veteran superstar center – captain Sidney Crosby, in his 11th NHL campaign, a member of the Penguins’ 2008-09 title team and winner of this post-season’s MVP – Conn Smythe award, the Steel City skaters bested a plucky but over-matched San Jose Sharks club 4-2 to take Lord Stanley’s vessel for the 4th time in their near 50 year history (1967).

.........dice.N.Morberg.wc.cca.2.22.09“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times (Dickens).” Viewing the forest for the trees, the image of an earlier face of the NHL in Crosby making his return to the big stage to hoist another Stanley Cup is just what the doctor ordered for a League feeling a bit nervy in aftermath of its blighted pre-season.

That’s when news of its defending champ Chicago Blackhawks’ star Pat Kane’s rape investigation broke, a sad state that might’ve played out with process due to all interested parties had the story not been enflamed by some in media who were captured by the due but heightened awareness (Rice – Palmer) turned lynch-mob mentality, people who to this day still stubbornly refuse to shoulder their self-righteous ropes.

Viewed up close (trees), retirement appeared the prudent option a few years back when superstar Sidney sustained a concussion that had him out of action for a disconcertingly long period of play.

.........StanleyCup.1930.181k.thmTwo stories to book-end this NHL 2015-16 season, complete with lessons laid out for the learning, on competition, medicine, psychology (patience & resilience), legal process, journalistic integrity, etcetera.

Kudos to a vanquished but worthy opponent from San Jose and congrats to NHL’s best, the Pittsburgh Penguins.

— — —

Absent even the slightest skepticism from what seems a captured media, mainstream and blogisphere alike, on the soundness of NHL’s decision to locate a team in Las Vegas, the hands-on gambling capital of the Milky Way galaxy, it necessitates that somebody explain how the NHL’s decision to expand its franchise pool to Vegas will quite possibly start a process whose end result is one where the key element of trust is completely absent from the professional games whose entertainment and investment values both depend on it.

........LasVegas.4.19.05.wc.D.Vasquez.thmbSymbolism: There was a time when the gaming culture of Vegas downtown, not the general populace, worked a deterrent to owners even considering location in Nevada as Syndicate interests invested in the strip (50s & 60s). But even as a new culture of family, food & fun emerged (80s), overtaking the so-called sin element in revenue rake, gaming remains the indisputable image of Las Vegas.

So when one of the major pro leagues, all of them seemingly stacked with athletes who cheat like it’s a right or at least a duty they owe to, who else, themselves (PEDs), gets cozy with that prevailing image, as plutonic as it may be, it sends a message to players that a new standard of tolerance on gambling has evolved (See; FanDuel & DraftKings). And to that player whose ethics are, as “Johnny Caspar” would’ve termed it, “a little shaky,” it’s nearly an invite to rationalize and roll the dice (game fix).

........Gandhi.wc.thm.pre1942The greed, arrogance, foolishness expressed by NHL and minions deluding themselves into believing it can effectively control the risk-to-fix by instruction and security measures, or that those measures are wholly unnecessary, a risk if ever realized (shave points) and discovered will most certainly not be laundered in public as the Black Sox were in 1920 (bad for business)), is as greedy, arrogant & foolish as a Ruler (British Raj) in 1930 believing it can forever monopolize “making salt” like they might own & sell the air its subjects breath (See; Gandhi).

And don’t forget, there’s already been a major sport in Vegas, Jerry Tarkanian’s Runnin’ Rebels. Big stuff. Just a few bad apples but it only took that program, what, five years at the top before those bobbers took the “soak of the year?”

Steven Keys
MacroSport
Photo Credit: S.Crosby, wc.cca, 12.3.11, M.Miller; M.Miller; dice, M.Morberg, 2.22.9, wc; Stanley-Cup, 1930, wc; Las-Vegas, wc, 4.19.5, D.Vasquez; M.Gandhi, wc, pre-1942; macroecono, lamcasinoroyal, 2011.
Posted: 6.16.16 @ 1:59pm, edit 4:57 EST: Copyright © 2016

NFL16: London Calling, Best Pack a Toothbrush & extra Jim-Jams, Mate

16 Apr

Word came down recently from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell that the League is still desirous of and actively perusing the prospect of assembling a franchise for London Town, England (“Roger Goodell: ‘Realistic’ Possibility” / 4.5.16 / CBS.com / J.Breech). The schematics, so to speak, are being drawn for review and an owners vote sounds a likelihood in the not too distant future.

When speaking at a Jaguars’ ticket holder hoedown in early April the National’s top cufflink-in-management was queried about where the issue stood in terms of development and decision to plant an NFL team in the land of fish n’ chips.

Roger stated it in pretty plain speak, laced with some specifics and sufficient non-committal: “I actually believe that a franchise in London is realistic.” The two keys according to Goodell: “Competitive(ness)” and “logistics.”

.....toothbrush.paste.wc.thegreenj.9.6.8.thmSomething tells me once logistics get ironed-out (travel (Brits expect extended stay), scheduling, conversions (metric), language barrier (sed-jo͞oəl (schedule)), etc.) the competitive issue will find resolution as well.

Securing a viable and committed investment group goes a long way to satisfying performance potential of a planned franchise. If it comes to fruition, like any expansion club, London will be given ample time and then some to find its winning way with the added challenges they‘d surely face.

Two issues likely not to be discussed, not in public, anyway:

1) Oil to Burn?

Why now, to propose this distant addition to the NFL family in a call that flies in the face of a depleting worldwide energy reserve (don’t let the price plunge fool you), a problem looming large even as most everyone is hiding heads in the sand? With no major shelf discovery in 45 years, a squeeze on oil-shale that red-flags trouble, an ever rising demand (China, etc.) and nearly no movement on the alternative front (hydrogen, solar), less travel aught be the norm.

......Goodell.8.30.12.wc.thmb.SSG.T.Wade.USMA2) Mexico City

You can figure why Canada has not been a place for NFL expansion as it has with pro baseball and basketball. No real good comes from trying to topple the Canadian Football League (‘58). No such issue in the land of Moctezuma. Maybe it’s Mexico’s vast soccer set-up and love of baseball that precludes the possibility of NFL presence but it’s hard to imagine a franchise could not succeed South of the border. No hablan inglese?

Nevertheless, and thank heavens for ‘nevertheless,’ the idea of any city outside North America joining NFL ranks is a tantalizing thought, especially as the design is taking shape in the capital of the world-spanning British Commonwealth upon which the “sun never sets (Xerxes I).”

♫ Everybody wants to rule the world ♫ but will settle for wanting everybody else to want what they want. An affirmation of ideals as it were. I like football and like it when others join in the fun. Not exactly altruistic but human enough.

I can’t speak for our colonial forebearers, early adversary (1776 & 1812) and since long-time Anglo-American ally from across the Atlantic, but it seems a serious segment of the British consumer public is responding to the NFL presence at Wembley Stadium these past dozen years. Otherwise the League would not be feeling as chipper as it does about the prospect of a permanent presence in the land of Ivanhoe, the Virgin Queen and the Sex Pistols.

......SexPistols.wc.Riksarkivet.1977.TrondheimOne of America’s most notable contemporary pop culture contacts with London comes by way of HBO host John Oliver. John’s not so much a comedian as he is a testy traffic-cop on trends, some of which most certainly do need an accounting (greed). But Benny Hill, he ain’t, and that’s a bloody shame.

Birmingham-born John boarded the recently crafted anti-Redskins bandwagon (2012) as a critic of NFL’s 80-yr old moniker, making it unlikely he’d be among that group of Onslowians who are receptive to London joining the NFL club. “Onslow,” the lovable & lounging Geoffrey Hughes character (d.2012) on the 90s hit TV and long-time PBS syndicated series Keeping Up Appearances, was seen to sport a Packers shirt and personified UK’s version of ‘(Jeremy) Six-Pack.’

Oh for those racy days of when “Mrs. Slocombe (Mollie Sugden)” and junior staffer “Mr. Lucas (Trevor Bannister)” traded barbs at “Grace Brothers” department store (Are You Being Served (1972-85)) (before the politically correct bullies like Oliver were building shopping malls-in-the-minds), selling discounted (cheap?) laughs on bawdy display to a consumer public that had discriminating taste but was rarely imperious.

Count me with Judy Garland (“Esther Smith (Meet Me In St. Louis (‘44))”): “If there’s anything I hate, loathe, despise and abominate it’s a bully.” Hear, hear!

Once it’s in the hopper (London locale), next big question is, what to name the NFL’s hottest new prospect now that the Rams are back in the City of Angels?

......spank.VanityFair.thm.wc.6.6.1903Far be it for me to tell Britannia, that small but clouty cluster of islands & cliffs jutting out from that last major oil deposit discovery in the North Sea (’70), one that gave birth to Shake-a-Spear (de Vere) and Dickens, Newton and Darwin, Mick Jagger and Petula Clark, who for near 300 years ruled the Seven Seas, imprinted their language on every major consumer good and diplomatic dossier on the globe and have “150 magazines devoted to spanking (“Dr. Fiscus (St. Elsewhere)”),” what logo they should choose to adorn their NFL uniforms, if & when awarded said team.

But with a history background, decades of experience in the gridiron game (a word the Limey‘s will need work into their lexicon) by viewership and fun play, and descending from a parentage vested in the commercial art and advertising fields, I feel well qualified to advise on the subject, take it or leave it.

Forget-About-Its

The musings will start with the expecteds like monarchs (NFL Europe & WLAF), knights (of the Roundtable (Sir)) and probably wrap-up with the king of the jungle, the long traditional symbol in England, the lion. All terrific: Strong, relevant and about as common and non-inspirational as eagles and toothy mammals this side of the pond.

Possibilities

Montys

Not the “Full” kind like in the hit movie (‘97) but as in Field Marshall Bernard Montgomery, England’s most decorated and distinguished commander on land during WWII. “Monty” was winner of the decisive desert battles against Italian and German forces (Rommel) at both Alam el Halfa & El Alamein (2d), the Italian invasion and European theatre closing Battle of the Bulge (‘44). This one’d take moxie but then Nashville’s NHL franchise is called the Predators, so there’s that.

Admirals (Drakes)

.....Drake.bowl.wc.thm.J.Boehm.LobsterthermidorThere are the Admirals of Milwaukee (AHL) and Norfolk Admirals of the Eastern Coast Hockey League but the British admirals that ruled the liquefied waterways shaped the course of history and made Rule, Britannia! the song of the seas. Nelsons (Horatio (Vice – Trafalgar)), maybe not, but the Drakes might sail. Not in reference of the Canadian rapper, not necessarily, but Sir Francis Drake (Vice) who after lowering his privateer flag went on to scuttle the Spanish Armada (1587 (Cadiz)) and foil it’s invasion (’88): Raiders, Buccaneers & Drakes, aye, matey!

Dukes

A British title more suited to Walter Camp football than Sir (knight), “Duke” was nickname of our most famous movie cowboy (J.Wayne) and is currently burned onto the official NFL game ball (Wilson®), a tradition that began in 1941 at behest of Bears’ owner / coach Halas to honor Giants’ owner Tim Mara’s son, Wellington “the Duke” Mara who himself was named after Field Marshal Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington, most renowned for his victory over Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo (1815). No hazard in choosing the Dukes design.

Champion!

Post-war, outside the realm of science (TV (Baird), jets (Whittle), computers, economics (Keynes), fibre, physics, internet (Berners-Lee), lava lamp (Walker)), no persons, event, creation of British origin has had more impact on these United States than their greatest export, The Beatles. More than symbol of an era, their music and personas set the standard, sometimes went way-out & wild but were always in control.

The four ‘mop-top’ lads from Liverpool dominated the scene in the 60s and individually stayed relevant into the 80s. But their influence went beyond music even before they became social advocates. The hair, cloths, manner, it all worked into the cultural and commercial fabric, Sinatra / Elvis fans aside.

.....JFK.stamp.5.29.64.FBEP.tmUnpretentious (John only stated a truth: “bigger than Jesus (‘66)”), ever evolving, innovating, setting trends and never following, The Beatles were the quintessential non-conformists, a way that can exact the highest price (11.22.63), though, the foursome would freely discuss the strong influence American blues and early rock n’ roll had on their music. I sometimes marvel that any other music made it onto the radio, making The Kinks, The Seekers, Peter Paul & Mary, Spanky & Our Gang, Dionne Warwick, Herman’s Hermits, The Guess Who, Simon & Garfunkel, The Fifth Dimension, Burt Bacharach and the like, that much more amazing.

From their Hamburg days to the slim suits set by betters Epstein & Martin, Misters Lennon, McCartney, Harrison & Starr would lead the British Invasion in 1962 (Love Me Do), landing by air in a ‘64 campaign of music, money & merriment. From 1963 until their break-up in ‘70 they reeled off #1 hits like nobody‘s business to help a still grieving America (JFK) find comfort in a rocking new beat that both energized and waxed poetic. Through their transformations from leather jackets to chicken-slacks to hippie-hair, no other English good or services compares to their body of work and cultural impact.

Churchill inspired on USA tour post-WWII but Great Britain never had goodwill ambassadors quite like The Beatles, likely never will again. After comment controversy, fired mostly by organized Christian conservatives, their kids and hate-groups (Ku Klux Klan) in US South, the big band conducted their diplomacy almost exclusively in studio record and interviews but the sway held swag and the sounds still resonated with music lovers, media and corporate keens.

.....Lennon.wc.1969.thm.R.KerwoodAnd though resented by some music lovers in later generations for their talent, success, visceral vibes and ♫ feelings ♫ that are largely lacking from their own toe-tappers and angry rappers, the foursome’s relevance will last as long as humans make music or beam their broadcasts to worlds beyond.

Because of that it is a word / image in reference to The Beatles and their large legacy that should adorn the helmets and all appurtenant for any English entrant into the NFL field of frolic. Anything else would seem, so-so.

Their hint-on-helmet would also be the coolest thing since John Lennon worked distortion into the opening of “♫ I Feel Fine (‘64) ♫,” which was the coolest thing since Judy Garland sang “♫ clang, clang, clang went the trolley ♫.”

How then would The Beatles translate into the commercial design?

To the colors and logo the possibilities are many. And that’s for another day.

On the team name, your instinct has you pursuing Beatles vast library of songs hoping to find a perfect fit. You won’t, not for a football moniker. And then the copyright question comes into play. Some are fun to consider, impractical as they be: Day Trippers, Rocky Raccoons, Yellow Submarines, Nowhere Men, Eleanor (Rugbies), Revolutions, Paperback Writers, Walruses, Mean Mr. Mustards.

......Beatles.heads.thm.2.7.64.JFK.LOCThe name: London Beats

The band’s name itself is reference to the new ‘beat’ sound of the late 1950s and early 60s. Add in the football meanings and it works the triple entendre, i.e. beating / besting (there’s a pun, Pete) your opponent in score and into a bloody pulp, figuratively speaking, of course.

There is an Anglo-American band of some prominence by the name LondonBeat who scored a #1 pop hit in 1991 with “I‘ve Been Thinking About You,” and were the NFL – London group interested in the Beats name, might have a British copyright claim on the tag (See; patent lawyer (US), solicitor / barrister (UK)). Even if not, it’s likely contact would be in order and handshakes made.

.....macroecono.lamcasinoroyal.2011.wcSteven Keys
MacroSport
Photo credits: London-bus, wc, 6.26.12, BH.Spier; Toothbrush, wc, thegreenj, 9.6.8; Goodell, wc, 8.30.12, SSG.T.Wade, USMA; SexPistols, Riksarkivet, wc, 1977; Spanking, wc, VanityFair, wc, 6.6.1903; FrancisDrake-bowling, J.Boehm, Lobsterthermidor, wc; JFK-stamp, 5.29.64, wc; Lennon-guitar, 1969, R.Kerwood, wc; The-Beatles, wc, 2.7.64, JFK-NYC-UPI, wc; Macroecono-lamcasinoroyal, 2011, wc.
Posted: 4.16.16 @ 7:34pm, edit 4.17 @ 12:58am; Copyright © 2016

Steve Kerr: NBA Finals15’s MV-Person

20 Jun

Those poor hockey guys.

“The (Icemen) cometh,” and then goeth in a flash.

..........Kane.12.9.14.wc.L.Gansky.thmb

Blackhawks take an NHL title Monday night on home ice for the first time since FDR took on greed (’38) by besting Tampa Bay Lightning in six (4-2) to take a 3rd Stanley Cup in six years, fashioning what less stingy observers are calling a dynasty, but moved quicker through the media spotlight than a cool, summer breeze.

Added to that couldn’t-be-helped slight was what appears to be a decision of Sports Illustrated’s cover layout crew to obscure any sight of Chicago’s Indian motifs (head & tomahawks) in their supposedly celebratory but somewhat sneaky championship edition. “Clever girl(s),” and boys.

The PCBs (politically correct bullies) ‘are forever busy and need feeding.’

The Golden State Warriors, led by Assoc’n MVP Stephen Curry and 1st-yr coach Steven Kerr, won on Tuesday night their first NBA title since short-shorts, Wolverines (Pres. Ford) and Rick Barry were in vogue (‘75) by dispatching LeBron James and his short-handed Cleveland Cavaliers in same six-game set.

.........Iguodala.wc.7.14.12.T.Shelby.thb

Surprisingly, day after Warriors big win the top trending topic was not the team, star guard Curry or new golden boy of NBA coaching set Kerr (he’s 49), but the unexpected selection made for Finals most valuable player award, that going to Andre Iguodala who, prior to and start of these Finals, had been most often used in a reserve capacity.

Awarding of the championship MVP trophy in any of the four major pro sports has a long tradition, but by that same tradition will rarely receive must discussion in post-series forums beyond quick nod in respectful acknowledgment of its winner.

When MVP takes center stage, dominates dialogue you know voters mis-cast.

Once the Cavaliers took a 2 to 1 lead in the series the critical contest and key combatants became clear to this writer:

“This phase in NBA Finals.15 is, believe it or not, about Steve Kerr and LeBron James. Can Kerr figure a way for his men to frustrate the superstar for an entire game and LeBron (& David Blatt) thwart the strategy? It’s not Bucks-Celtics ’74 or Spurs-Heat ’13 but still an interesting battle of wits & wherewithal (Ahead of the Curve @KeysSteven (Twitter): “No Hyperbole” / Mannix / SI.com / 6.10).”

.........James.wc.1.25.15.E.Drost.thmb

The “battle” didn’t develop as hoped but Kerr’s altering “strategy” finding form in decision to start Andre to guard James proved a game-changer. James, this fan’s player MVP, still performed admirably in all categories but was prevented from controlling tempo and taking Curry out of rhythm as was done in G3.

They don’t give coaches the series MVP trophy but maybe they should.

Steve’s line-up change had it’s element of risk attached but turned the series around as the clear catalyst to Warriors resulting win streak (3-0).

This time blame for Forest City’s frustration can be laid on marble doorstep of the Sporting Gods who decided to make Cleveland wait another year for chance at championship when they took out Kevin Love in early playoff round.

.........Love.wc.11.21.14.K.Allison.thmb

Besides, with what Urban Meyer’s doing in the State of Ohio, the Gods don’t want to spoil the Buckeye bunch, not yet, anyway (See: Jim Harbaugh).

Had Kev played, it’s pretty fair bet the Cavaliers would’ve taken the Finals in 6G. Being the Las Vegas odds favorite to take the O’Brien in 2016 tends to validate that belief.

Biggest winners NBAF15: Warriors world, Misters Curry and Kerr.

Curry won’t be knocking James off his lofty perch as the #1 sport star anytime soon. LeBron sits pretty and weights down heavy with hardware and marketing-media mettle. But Stephen’s now got ringed “presence (“NBA15: Does Curry”)” and seems to’ve cornered the kid-market who crave cool in crazed consumerism.

........Kerr.wc.JM.Rosenfeld.2.2.08;thmb

As for Steven, he’s got a long way to go to overtake graybeard guru greats in Popovich (Spurs) and former mentor, Phil Jackson, but is so laden with likeability that it really doesn’t matter much how many more titles he may take. Guy’s golden.

One caveat to Kerr’s accomplishment: Not in recent memory do I recall that there’s been an easier roadway to the NBA title. Warriors and Cavaliers cars came fully equipped with EZ-Pass® in hand. Memphis put up a fight, but beyond that, ahh.

When the losing teams in both Conference finals (ATL/HOU) win a grand total of one (1) game combined, the quality of competition issue leaves an ignominious mark and fans deserve much better. I remember the 70s and 80s.

Biggest Losers: Cavaliers’ coach David Blatt and Knicks’ Phil Jackson

.......Jackson.1.28.07.M.Sandoval.wc.thb

It’s safe to say that the bloom has officially gone off Phil Jackson’s zen-ful rose.

The zenmeister hasn’t made a mindful major move since joining the Knicks in 2013. Letting his friend Steve slip through their hands pre-season seemed foreboding at the time and came home to roost. Cock-a-doodle do.

For David Blatt’s part, when the coach appears to be throwing up his hands in mid-Finals (post-G5: “Not alot you can do (on Curry)”), I can’t image what good hope players have in future moments of critical conundrum. There’s often a way, if one possesses the will, especially in these particular Finals.

......Blatt.wc.1.25.15.E.Drost.thmb

Some bemoaned LeBron when he made late series boast (“I’m the best”). But clearly, the team leader was merely keeping his game face secured on tite and reminding his ‘mates they had a chance to rebound and take the Finals. Nice try, anyway, James, who definitely does not want to be that guy who gets his coach canned.

Blatt did hit the mark on his closing statement: “It’s a good story,” the Cleveland Cavaliers 2015 season.

No doubt about it. The new Cavaliers went far, farther than many mindful NBA observers expected. And to reach the promised land and get Cleveland it’s first NBA title, LeBron needs some Love.

Just as Bird had McHale, Magic Worthy, Jordan Pippen and LeBron his friend Wade, Cleveland’s megastar needs his multi-skilled cohort in support. And there’s none better in today’s NBA than Kevin Love.

Unless unreported personality conflict(s) developed in Cleveland franchise, everything of non-rumor variety points to Kev staying put in the Forest City.

Next to LeBron, Kevin’s the best all-around in the biz, has money coming out of his ears, wants that jewel-encrusted title ring w/Cleveland motif maybe as much as does James and owner Dan Gilbert and Cleveland will be loaded for bear in 2015-16 making it the place to be.

And if the Sporting Gods are on their game in 2016, we might see a return match of these two talented teams, if the Spurs and Grizzlies fizzly, of course.

......straight_shooter.thmb

Steven Keys
Straight Shooter
Photo credits: S.Kerr, wc.cca, 2.24.15, K.Allison; P.Kane, wc, 12.9.14, L.Gansky; A.Iguodala, 7.14.12, wc; T.Shelby; L.James, wc, 1.25.15, E.Drost; K.Love, 11.21.14, wc, K.Allison; S.Kerr, wc, JM.Rosenfeld, 2.2.8; P.Jackson, wc, M.Sandoval, 1.28.7; D.Blatt, wc, 1.25.15, E.Drost; Straight.Shooter, citrus.fruit, label.
Posted: 6.19.15 @ 8:30pm; edit 6.20 @ 12:28, 10:53pm EST

Major Sport in Las Vegas? Dicey Move

14 Jun

Seems just a matter of time before we hear the news that an NHL or NBA investment group has reached agreement with the Commissioner, player’s union and City officials to locate the first major professional sports franchise in Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada.

If and when that notable event happens it will mark a watershed moment in American spectator sport.

.........LasVegas.4.19.05.wc.D.Vasquez.thmb

Not the memorable kind the likes of Jackie Robinson breaking color barrier (‘47), passage of Title IX legislation or the first broadly administered blood draws taken in the never-ending, uphill fight against PEDs (MLB ‘13).

No, this momentous occurrence will be more in the nature of the disconcerting variety.

Locating such a franchise in Las Vegas, gambling Mecca of the Milky Way, could possibly be the worst decision ever made in the history of sport planning.

Why? Three reasons to seriously ponder:

1) Early experiment rolled but came up craps

The first run at a semi-major sporting endeavor in the Las Vegas Valley was the men’s college basketball team at the University of Nevada – Las Vegas, the Runnin’ Rebels, coached by Jerry Tarkanian (d.2015). It was a top-tier program for much of the 1980s and 90s but the results were mixed.

.........UNLV.T&M.Ctr.10.19.11.G.Skidmore.thmb

Oh, the Rebels won plenty of games, produced some All-Americans and took a national men’s NCAA title in 1990. But the closing act on that show ended with photo of some of Tark’s players from the title team taking a bath (hot-tub break) with a known game-fixer.

So much for team spirit.

2) Standard & Symbolism

Consumers of sport, the people of Las Vegas, they are as good & gracious, greedy & gaudy as people in every city & hamlet around the globe. They’re not the issue.

It’s the serious symbolism that a major pro sport in Nevada will convey to ‘entrepreneurs’ who might decide they’re tired of “anarchy (Miller‘s Crossing (’90)),” i.e., gambling on the up & up, and seek a sure thing, a “fix (“If you can‘t count on a fix, what can you count on (“Caspar”)?”). It’s a message of relaxed standard at a time when they seem to be crumbling all around.

........Paulie.T.Sirico.4.1.10.CJCS.wc.M.Mullen.thmb

Locating a major pro franchise in Vegas is an engraved invitation to trouble. And the Feds don’t have enough on their hands, eh, boys?

Just imagine guys like “Paulie Gualtieri (T.Sirico / Sopranos)” saying something like this down at the “Bada Bing:”

Paulie: ‘Hey, did ya’ hear, theys gonna’ finally do it, put a pro team in Vegas! Imagine that?
Patsy Parisi (D.Grimaldi): Yeah.
Paulie: Never thought I’d live to see the day. Christ is King!
Patsy: Neither did I (chuckle).
Paulie: Hey, watch yourself, tough guy.
Patsy: Lighten up. It’s good news.
Paulie: Say, we know anybody in that operation?’

Yeah, just imagine, Mr. Commissioner.

Rather than moving closer to gambling interests or giving that impression, professional sports should be doing everything in their power to keep their enterprises a good, safe distance away from gaming activities (miles), especially with integrity so scarce a commodity these days (See; PEDs, wet-deliveries (MLB), ball-flation (NFL), fantasy shenanigans (Jones-Drew (Jags‘10))?).

........Landis.wc.underwood.MilwJourl.11.15.20.CHI.thb

The top dog in America’s sporting show, the NFL, seems of the later approach while the new leader of #2 MLB in Rob Manfred is a bit of an unknown at this point, though, red-flagging as a cooperative Commissioner with a lifting of the Pete Rose lifetime ban looming.

If or when the fixing begins, we, the public, will likely never know about it. Too much trouble. ‘What we don’t know won’t hurt us’ may be the boardroom line. The monopoly ‘powers that be’ will keep the lid on so tight you’d need a jackhammer to pry it off.

No jackhammers today. There never were many (Woodward & Bernstein, Bart Giamatti, Kenesaw Mountain Landis, Lane & Garrison, Oliver Stone).

3) Like a bump on the head

Staying in the “Bing” vernacular, the NHL and NBA need more teams in their fraternities like they need a bump on their figurative, collective heads.

.......Bettman.wc.6.14.07.captcanuk.thmb

If anything, both Gary Bettman (NHL) and Adam Silver (NBA) should be selling retraction in their respective, oversold operations, as opposed to the ill-conceived belief in an expanding universe of franchise ownerships. The quality of competition.

Glendale’s recent reject of funding for a new Coyotes’ arena may press the point, though, Portland is being floated as a top contender for a franchise shift.

.......Silver.11.21.14.K.Allison.wc.thmb

And then, another hockey club out in the bone-dry West? That may be pushin’ it, fellas.

Of course, that obvious contradiction hasn’t stopped their brethren in the golf world from building more & more water-guzzling, herbicide oozing operations.

Sure, a franchise in Las Vegas will make money for a handful of manicured mitts. They wouldn’t undertake if they weren’t guaranteed at least double back on their investment ($1.5B?). But for the mass majority of fandom it’d be pure dilution.

.......sunset.wc.8.13.12.J.Eastland.HighdesertCASo there you have it, the most compelling reasons why locating a major sports franchise in Las Vegas would be a bad move.

But it‘s realization seems to be in the wind. If a Nevada franchise does come to be, the new team’s tag & tint will quickly become topic of much talk around town. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em?

......dice.N.Morberg.wc.cca.2.22.09My personal preference, whether an NBA or NHL club, would be a sundown theme. Day’s end in the wide-open West can be a sight to behold. The name then: Sunsets, with sun-burst design and hues of orange, yellow, pink and red. That’s the artistic take.

But a more typical tack would be a name like Rollers with dice in the design. Gold, silver, green are obvious color choices but might work with the right detailing. A gaming table combo of green, red, black & white. There are possibilities.

......macroecono.lamcasinoroyal.wc.2011Steven Keys
Macro Sport
Photo credits: Vegas.Vic, wc.cca, 5.1.10, J.Gauder; Las.Vegas, 4.19.05, wc, D.Vasquez; T&M.Ctr, UNLV, wc, 10.19.11, G.Skidmore; T.Sirico (“Paulie“), wc, 4.1.10, CJCS, M,Mullen; Kenesaw. Mountain.Landis, wc, underwood, Milwaukee-Journal, 11.11.15.20, Chicago; G.Bettman, wc, 6.14.07, captcanuk; A.Silver, wc, 11.21.14, K.Allison; sunset, wc, 8.13.12, J.Eastland, high.desert, CA; dice, M.Morberg, 2.22.09, wc; macroeconomo, lam-casinoroyal, 2011.
Posted: 6.14.15 @ 7:10pm; edit @ 11:46 EST