NFL15-W2 Minute Waltz: Gambler’s Woe

22 Sep

Results from Week 2 offer reason #11 why you don’t gamble on games: topsy-turvy tally. “It’s all one big crap-shoot anyhoo (“Needlenose Ned,” Groundhog Day (‘93)).” That pretty much holds true even if it’s GB or NE. Watch & see.

I count nine upsets, if Dallas and Atlanta road-wins can be called ballyhoo.

A friendly wager for fun is fine but becoming a dedicated investor in chance (See Also: FanDuel® & DraftKings®), that’s foolhardy, indeed.

Countdown to Team Rankings: Week 4

Disraeli Marker: “There are lies, damn lies and then there are statistics”

Time of possession:

1) 49ers 36:59 v Steelers 23:01 (PIT 43-18);
2) Titans 35:11 v Browns 24:49 (CLE 28-14).

It’s not necessarily time you possess but what you do with it that matters most.

All in the Family or The Brothers Colquitt (DEN 31-24 KC)

Not a true upset, W2 began with it’s kissing-cousin, the slip-away, leaving KC fans and Reid wringing their hands. Jamaal Charles OT fumble wasn’t the biggest boo-boo, nor Alex Smith‘s two INTs. Instead, it was watching what’s become the saddest thing in pro-ball: prevent defense. It is like watching a homicide in slow motion and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.

With a team up late (KC 7), it seems SOP with most every DC in the land to pull pressure and instruct pint-sized D-backs to lay-off and let master matriculators, here, Peyton, do his thing: move the ball at-will. He did. Tie game. OT.

Wondering who won Battle of Colquitts? If yes, consider yourself an NFL expert as the name is synonymous with pro punting. Craig Colquitt punted on two of Super Steelers’ teams in the 70s, brother Jim briefly suited for Seattle (’85) and CC has two sons now doing Dad proud. Dustin continues to handle duties in KC (11y) while younger brother Britton is booms bombs for Broncos (6y). This round goes to the elder on average: 52.4 (4p) v. 42.7 (7).

Sharp Cheddar (GB 27-17 SEA)

Packers are leaving fans fulfilled (2-0), first toying w/rival Bears, then new nemesis Seattle who’s red-flagging at a spot they’ve been as stable as Microsoft the past 3y, QB. When Wilson (10-78) out-rushes Lynch (15-41), there’s big trouble on Puget Sound. Tip o’ the cap to GB’s M.Crosby: 4/4 + 54-yarder.

Good News First,… (DAL 20-10 PHI)

If you’re a Dallas fan, good news is your ‘Boys beat another division foe in Eagles (0-2) who’re struggling for answers. Sub QB B.Weeden made most of his chance (7-7, 1-0) in sealing the win late and LB leader Sean Lee is making up for lost time (9t – 5a – 1int). Bad news: Romo’s out, again, for a spell (clavicle).

Back n’ Forth Bruiser (OAK 37-33 BAL)

Even-Steven until Raiders channeled spirits of old glory in Upshaw (d.‘08), Davis (d.‘11) & Stabler (d.‘15) showing Ravens what-for in taking a surprise win. Tucker did his part (4/4) but BAL misses Suggs. Another 2y QB in Raiders’ Carr shone bright (30-46-351-3/1), Crabtree & Cooper clicked with over 200y combined and LBs Smith & Lofton made the stops when Oakland needed ‘em.

Sunshine Supermen (JAX 23-20 MIA)

Jaguars jump out early and held on to beat intrastate, history-laden rival, Miami. Dolphins were suppose to be contenders in 2015 and losing in JAX is a big no-no to that purpose. Two-year QB Bortles (18-33-273-2), handyman A. Robinson (6-155-2) both impressed while kicker J.Myers went 3-3, booting a 58’r.

Watch & Learn (PIT 43-18 SF)

Athleticism has it‘s limitations.

Kaep performed (33-46, 335-2 (9a)) but aught take lesson from a master craftsman in Big Ben who knows what‘s key (21-27, 369-3 (1a)) while Shazier (11t) & Blake (10) enabled the separation. Keep bolting Colin and you’ll never Super again. Pitt’s Brown (9-195-1) was all hands, Williams is in rebirth (77y-3td (4-rec)) while SF’s J.Hayne experiment may not deliver. And anyone who thinks a linebacker (Bowman) can be the same superstar after ACL tear & tie is not a football fan nor medically qualified.

Ram Fluff (DC 24-10 STL)

Up & comers St. Louis lay an egg in DC, falling behind early and stymied the rest of the way as Redskins showed moxie to chagrin of NFL-haters nationwide. Cousins spread it nicely (8 WRs) and star RB Morris (18-59) has company in rookie M. Jones who ran to daylight (19-123, 2td). Rams’ Foles is competent (17-32, 150-1) but bright spots were Ogletree (8t-8a) and punter J.Hekker who kicked the heck outta’ the pig (8-46.1).

Giant Fizzle (ATL 24-20 NYG)

All talk will be New York’s 4Q funk but give credit to new Falcons’ head coach Dan Quinn whose scheme closed the door late on the Giants. DQ is making a mark in hip-hopping Atlanta after Super success in Seattle (DC). But A-Birds, like Denver, best find consistent run before Matt Ryan (30-46, 363-1) & Julio Jones (13-135) wear out.

“Hail, (Arians)!” (AZ 48-23 CHI)

Looks another long season in City of Big Shoulders (0-2) and wary warrior Jay’s banged again. Even Force Forte will fade (15-61). Cards, they look like GB’s NFCC foe. Sloppy too (24 PEN total) but Carson’s (17-24, 185-4) raising Aaron for MVP pot, Johnson & Johnson (David “Stiff Arm,” 5-42 (108 KOR)) give balance, Larry lives large (8, 112-3) and desert D (R.Johnson 9t-1-1td) did well (CHI 6.6 yppa, 17%-3DE)).

Saints’ Woes March On (TB 26-19 NO)

Like Giants and Bears, more of the same sluggishness for Saints. Lose focus for just one quarter and all may be lost (3Q: TB 13 – NO 0). Brees is fine (24-38, 255-1-1), but unlike Brady (Bill) & Rodgers (Mike), his man Payton is not filling void left by Graham exit (SEA), who’s learning, as should Kam, the big-money-grab has it‘s risks: He and Drew clicked. Sloppy stuff: 21 PEN – 7 FUM total, as Brees is sacked 4 more (6).

Luke-less Win (CAR 24-17 HOU)

Ref’s arms are as tired as some QBs, throwing flags in W2 with V&V (20 PEN). Texans’ Mallett nearly hit 60a mark (27-58), being w/out Foster (Polk 14-38), while Camster-the-Hamster keeps taking touches from his backs (10-76 (4.6 yppa)). This time it covered, but post-bye (@ SEA) will be a test. Lechler was HOU star: 8, 43avg, 3 (20).

Bengalicious (CIN 24-19 SD)

Now if Lewis & Dalton (16-26, 214-3) could just get into the fall canning spirit, Ball®-up (Jarden) up some of this mojo for the PS we might see tiger stripes back in the Super for the first time since SB23 (SF 20-16). Chargers’ backfield performed (Rivers: 21-27, 241, 2-1 / Gordon: 16-88 / Woody: 6rec-68) but 4sks and 2TOs can give it away.

Johnny Renaissance

Whether Jon makes All-Pro one day or not, he’s a better QB, man in 2015 than in NFL debut (‘14). Marcus looks to have mental playbook already well in-hand, for while he lost this Battle of Heismen (W1: 42-14 TB), he kept rabbit (3-16) and INT (0) down. Two fumbles + poor C% (21-37) are learning curve and by-product of a leaky Titans‘ OL (7sks (ouch)). No pain, no gain, and that’s no joke.

Purr Like a Kitten (MIN 26-16 DET)

Thought Detroit would challenge GB supremacy in 2015? Not bloody likely. Caldwell brings it hard in preseason (See: RG3) but Lions are kitty so far this regular. Stafford’s staunch (32-53, 286) but when he out runs his backs (20 v 18), it’s bad. Adrian’s finding his grass-legs (29-134) and Ted managed but better start spreading it far & wide and find a go-to guy or scamper will hamper (6-21).

Don’t Even THINK Unbeaten (NE 40-32 BUF)

Belichamps play like they’re on a mission. What’s new? But they beat Pitt in NE, a team sliding since 2010, and Buffalo’s testing a new QB who‘s got a ways to go (Taylor: 23-30, 242, 3-3). Brady or not, a Ryan team allowing 500+ TY (<60 rushing) is not dialed-in. Gronk (7, 113-1) gets the love but Edelman (11, 97-2), Collins (8t-4a) & Hightower (8-3) are the workaday wonders. Penalties: 25!

Meet the New Jets (NYJ 20-7 IND)

Won’t be a QB controversy in NYJ when Geno returns if this keeps up. Fitz’s been slightly splendid while the run game’s been fairly capable and defense pretty darn stout (2g: 17pts + top T/OD’l). For Indy (0-2), look no further than turnovers. A ground game that tabbed a 10y vet (Gore) as anwwer for a old issue didn’t help.

Steven Keys
NFL HunchLine
Photo credits: worry, wc.cca, P.R. Simoes, Lisbon, 7.27.11
Posted: 9.22.15 @ 1:57pm, edit 4:53 EST; Copyright ® 2015

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