NFL17: Draft Dogs and Pony Show to Exhibit at Philadelphia Museum of Art

21 Apr

Gotta’ hand it to the curators of the upcoming 2017 NFL Draft, they can spin friggin’ straw into freakin’ gold, holy Rumpelstiltskin!

With a player product possessing of such a high degree of uncertainty as do most college draftees, the Cufflinks have done a splendid job in persuading media conglomerate (Disney / Comcast / NA / Fox / TW) that draft days (4.27 – 29) are “must see TV” and the plethora of fluctuating mockery (pre-draft boards) that precede ‘em are required homework for every fantasy follower.

Within this year’s mildly-anticipated draft will quite possibly be a future Hall-of-Famer, maybe two, likely multiple Pro Bowlers (today about half the NFLPA membership) and anywhere from 30-50% who will roster in the NFL and / or practice squads for on average of 3-5 years.

On the flip side, of the seven (7) rounds of picks, including those of the compensatory selections, about 2/3rds will last for but from 0-2 years in the National (50-70%), never to roster or just in for a cup o’ Gatorade®. Keep in mind that the League does need to replenish its ranks, so, even if that year’s pool is rated luke-warm, if teams are top-heavy in older players, the so-so selectees may get an atypically longer look-see from needy coaches & GMs.

With those numbers, with that state of ephemeralia, it’s nothing short of miraculous the job that NFL Suits & Skirts have done in selling this Traveling Circus of Selection to the buying public.

I use ‘buying public’ generously here, given that 90% of those enthralled with the tedious tally of picks over three days are young males aged 9-22, 20% of those matriculating in sport media. But hey, they’re consumers, too, you know it.

— — —

I’ve listed herein a break-down of all the 1R pick performances from last year’s 2016 draft held in the city with “Big Shoulders,” in total a result I believe that’s pretty typical of most first-year, first-rounders in the League.

A team’s 1st-round pick is certainly not wholly determinative of the success or failure of that year’s draft or its decision-making. The following rounds (2-7 (+C)), assuming every team chooses in most of those later phases, can, on wisdom and a little luck, bolster a clubs roster for years to come, even as the #1 turns pumpkin before its pie-time (bust-a-roo).

But that first pick, even as a 2nd-rounder, is also a very well vetted pick.

And not just combine skills but mental maneuverability as well, in test form and real world record, making Deshaun Watson’s surprise visit to a Tuscaloosa eatery a few weeks back, with no intro, no greet n’ meet before settling-in to start a good vibe, a display of ghastly gall that may’ve banked on the race – rivalry confusion to pull off the play, a factor then in his reliability rating, on field and off.

There is bold & brave, and then there is just plain bad judgment. Rivals worth their weight will often need only the smallest excuse to be generous beyond their legal duty. I guess small is still humungous for the gargantuan ego.

But in truth, most of the time and hope that a search committee invests will ride on that first selection. When it doesn’t pan out or provides less-than-expected benefit, it puts just that much more pressure on the following picks, where the pool of talent dilutes accordingly with each passing round, to pan in. And of course, draft outcomes will play to some degree on the tenor of talks come contract time with established veterans

That doesn’t mean that positively peachy picks can’t be had on the back branches. They certainly can as the Dallas Cowboys (Dak Prescott 4R(C) -MVP candidate), Chicago Bears (Jordan Howard 5R) and Kansas City Chiefs proved (Tyreek Hill 5R, 1T-All Pro) with some of the best grabs in the bunch for 2016.

#31: Germain Ifedi, OT, Seattle Seahawks, 13g (13s)*
#30: Vernon Butler, DT, Carolina Panthers, 10g (0s), 1-fr, 1.5s, 5t-8a
#29: Robert Nkemdiche, DT, Arizona Cardinals, DT, 5g (0)
#28: Joshua Garnett, OG, San Francisco 49ers, 15g (11), 3fr
#27: Kenny Clark, DT, Green Bay Packers, 16g (2), 2-fr, 13t-8a
#26: Paxton Lynch, QB, Denver Broncos, 3g (2), 1-1, 59%, 2t-1i, 6.ypa
#25: Artie Burns, CB, Pittsburgh Steelers, 16g (9), 3i, 13pd, 51t-13a
#24: William Jackson, CB, Cincinnati Bengals, 0g, pre-season injury (pec)
#23: Laquon Treadwell, WR, Minnesota Vikings, 9g (1), 1r, punt team
#22: Josh Doctson, WR, Washington Redskins, 2g (0), 2r, not “healthy (?)”
#21: Will Fuller, WR, Houston Texans, 14g (13), 47r, 635y, 2td
#20: Darron Lee, LB, New York Jets, 13g (9), 42t-28a
#19: Shaq Lawson, DE, Buffalo Bills, 10g (1), 7t-6a
#18: Ryan Kelly, C, Indianapolis Colts, 16g (16), “one of good pieces (GM)”
#17: Keanu Neal, S, Atlanta Falcons, 14g (14), 72t-33a, 5pd, 5ff
#16: Taylor Decker, OT, Detroit Lions, 16g (16)
#15: Corey Coleman, WR, Cleveland Browns, 10g (10), 33r, 413y, 3td
#14: Karl Joseph, S, Oakland Raiders, 12g (9), 44t-16a, 1i, 1ff
#13: Laremy Tunsil, OT, Miami Dolphins, 14g (14)
#12: Sheldon Rankins, DT, New Orleans Saints, 9g (0), 4sk, 15t-5a
#11: Vern Hargreaves, CB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 16 (16), 10pd, 68t-8a
#10: Eli Apple, CB, New York Giants, 14g (11), 7pd, 41t-8a, 1i-1ff-2fr
#9: Leonard Floyd, LB, Chicago Bears, 12g (12), 7sk, 23t-10a (W11 neck-C))
#8: Jack Conklin, OT, Tennessee Titans, 16g (16), AP.1T – All-Pro
#7: DeForest Buckner, DE, San Francisco 49ers, 15g (15), 6sk, 2fr, 43t-30a
#6: Ronnie Stanley, OT, Baltimore Ravens, 12g (12), AFCN – ROY
#5: Jalen Ramsey, CB, Jacksonville Jaguars, 16 (16), 2i, 14pd, 55t-10a
#4: Ezekiel Elliott, RB, Dallas, 15g (15), 1631y, 15td, 32r – 363y, 1T-All Pro
#3: Joey Bosa, DE, Los Angeles Chargers, 12 (11), 10.5sk, 29t-12a
#2: Carson Wentz, QB, Philadelphia Eagles, 16g (16), 62%, 7-9, 16t-14i
#1: Jared Goff, QB, Los Angeles Rams, 7g (7), 55%, 0-7, 5t-7i, 5+ypa
* Patriots forfeited 29th 1R pick per Deflategate penalty to reduce total to 31

There were 1st round dandies (12) in Draft 2016, impact possibilities (12) and wish-we-had-it-overs (7). Any wash-outs are still pending.

It’s not exactly an exhaustive analysis but then who wants to fall asleep at the screen (See; sabrmetrics)? Likewise, it’s not exactly hard to demonstrate just how over-sold is the NFL draft every year, at least as family entertainment.

In the League’s defense, they target their market (See; above) and probably reach it to some degree of satisfaction, keeping the boys busy for a few days and host city restaurants hopping with happy customers.

Nearly every NFL fan will take a gander at their team’s #1 selection, and then the tally of names / positions / college affiliations of the rest when it’s all done by Sunday AM. Fans of football won’t invest too much mental energy but will instead put the lion’s share of their trust in their team’s calculations of particular needs and then to pick accordingly, even if that‘s the next best player available.

There is good art, there is bad art, and then there is NFL Draft 2017 jammin’ up the parking lots and lavatories with their performance art and all the drama “of a bladder (Twain on viewing Shakespeare bust in Straftford-upon-Avon).”

Steven Keys
NFL HunchLine
Photo credit: NFL-wikiproject, Ixnay-Beao; R.Goodell-L.Boyd-M.Green, NFL.Draft, NYC, 4.26.12, R.Clinton; E.Elliott, wc, 11.9.14, WOSNsports; D.Watson, wc, 1.10.16, AtlantaFalcons; JimMarshall, Topps, 1970
Posted: 4.21.17 @ 1:07pm; Copyright © 2017
Sources: Wikipedia (draft) & pro-football-reference (#s)

MLB17 Chin Music: Will Joe’s Cubs Need a Merkle Boner to Complete This Repeat?

17 Apr

“Merkle’s Boner:” It didn’t catapult the Chicago Cubs to the 1908 Series, their 3rd in as many years, but it did by way of that game’s 1-1 tie, provide the Bruins with a means, an opportunity were the National League schedule and standings to end in a tie (Cubs & Giants) requiring a playoff (4-2 CHI) to save their bacon.

In a nutshell, the Boner was a base-running blunder committed by Fred Merkle of the New York Giants in a stretch-run contest at the Polo Grounds (9.23) v. their neck n’ neck nemesis, defending champ Chicago. It denied his Giants the win as he’d failed to fully advance & touch 2d-base on a teammate’s hit, preventing the runner from third’s cross of home plate from constituting the game-winning run.

At its essence is this lesson: Baseball, all organized sport, is a game of rules to be enforced, chief among them being the act of completion by its participants in letting the world know that the ball has been caught, the runner tagged or bag reached to finish the play, providing necessary clarity. No loose ends.

— — —

Merkle was born in Watertown, Wisconsin, Cubs Territory, in 1888 and not far west of Milwaukee, hometown of Al Simmons (b.1902). By all rights, Fred was a rookie when he miscued, having majored briefly in ‘07, a bit longer in ‘08 – 09 and finally full-time in 1910. He had a 16-yr career, was a quality major leaguer (.273), played in five (5) World Series, all losses, including one with the Cubs in 1918 (BOS) and by all rights could be argued was largely blameless in the blunder.

I can’t write to exactly when the rule of completion began to lose support, but it had, explaining in part why League officials had denied Cubs’ protest of the Pirates’ Warren Gill having pulled the same act a few games prior, even as a rule was on the books. But the point was made, a directive laid down for future enforcement and announced to relevant parties (teams) and crews.

Boner-game umpire and former player Hank O’Day needed no formal announcement for the stepped-up watch as he’d umpired the earlier Pittsburgh contest and made the call in ruling Merkle out for failing to complete the play (umpire and former pitcher himself, Bob Emslie, claimed to have not seen it).

Whether Giants manager John McGraw took the news to heart, instructing his team or considered the League position to enforce the completion of play to be an affront to his sensibilities, I do not know. Given Merkle’s on-field base-running (stop-short), a man who appeared possessing of an astute baseball mind, I’d hazard a guess it was the latter. What I do know is that notice had been given.

Like a double-stranded DNA virus, stubbornness is forever in all of us, counter-weighted in some by common-sense or today’s conformity craze often manifested in cliques & consumerism. But John, the talented player (1890s Orioles) and teacher, was stubborn as a mule in an age that seemed to pride itself on the trait (segregation, disdain for protective gear, safer stadium structure, etc.).

Fred was the key figure in what you can call G1 of the Merkle Series. The 2d (G2) being the post-season playoff back at the Polo Grounds where the brave Cubs (Pirates 1/2 behind) showed the baseball world who was boss in taking the tie-breaker without much trouble, 4-2. That was on the diamond. Big trouble occurred in Chicagoans having to field pre-game death threats and then fend off locker-room attackers to make an escape for their lives. The Bruins did, then went on to best the Tigers again in the Series, 4-1 to make the dynasty.

But it was the Boner-ball itself which would have an incredible story to tell, at one point getting tossed into the stands by Joe McGinnity to keep it away from the Cubs seeking to make the force before Merkle could return to complete it. With some strong arm tactic from the determined and tough as nails Bruins bunch, the ball was retrieved, handed to 2d-bagger Johnny Evers who made the formal force out which O’Day was obligated to enforce, nullify the run and declare the tie.

For the best firsthand account of what happened before, during, immediately and days after (playoff) the Merkle boner, Evers’ personal narrative is required reading and found in that early baseball classic, “My Greatest Day in Baseball” by famed sportswriter, John P. Carmichael (A.S. Barnes & Co., 1945).

If the greatest pitching staff in history (Brown, Pfiester, Lundgren, Taylor, Reulbach, Cole, Overall (1906-10)) was the wind behind the sails of the dynastic Cubs, it was the smart play of its infield in Bronzed trio of Bear Cubs Tinker (Mgr Federal champion Whales (1915)), Evers (Chalmers MVP Miracle Braves (1914)) and 1B-Mgr Chance, as also overlooked 3rd-sacker Harry Steinfeldt and catcher John “Noisy” Kling, that constituted the tar & nails keeping it all ship-shape.

Did Evers have a bias? I wouldn’t be surprised. But the same goes for any Giants or New York scribe who might weigh-in. Bottom-line, John was in the best spot to tell it like it was. And what a tell! Merkle melee has to be the greatest moment in MLB annals, at least on par with Ruth’s called shot (‘32), Jackie’s debut (‘47) and Rose’s slide home to win an All-Star (‘70). Movie material, for sure.

Merkle’s Boner is more than an infamous miscue. It created four maxims:

1) MLB is a rules-bound game;
2) Completion of play is not just quaint, it’s part of the product;
3) Failure to enforce the rules will be the game’s ultimate demise; and
4) The 1906-10 Chicago Cubs are the greatest baseball team in history.

— — —

Can Joe Maddon’s Cubs match their tough-as-nails forefathers to win a handful of pennants (4) and that not-all-too-common back-to-back Series tandem?

The knee-jerk would say, ‘No, it’s too tough, and they not tough enough.’

To the first part, the 2017 Cubs appear as well-stocked and managed as anyone. And as they’ve done it once already (ring it), that air of confidence puts them in the top tier of hopefuls. To the second, not many of us are as tough as they were back in the dead-ball days. Not many as sentimental, either.

Bruins are off to an inauspicious start at 6-6. A come down off their 103-win season in 2016 would be no surprise. Teams today just ain’t what they used to be (Cubs 1906-10: 116, 107, 99, 104 & 104). If the pedestrian play keeps up, the dog-days (June 20 thru August) will be a real mettle-test for the Northsiders.

But with their talent, sound skipper, a tenacious spirit to defend their title and a little bit o’ luck, these Cubbie bears can make it back to the fall classic in 2017. And if they go through the Bruce Bochy Giants to get there, all the more fun.

Steven Keys
Can of Corn
Photo credit: ChicagoCubs, wc.cca, 1917, sports logo; F.Merkle, NYT, C.Conlon, wc, 1912; CoogansBluff, wc, MerkleBonerGame, 9.23.1908; J.McGraw-F.Chance, wc, LibraryofCongress, GG.Bain, 5.2.1911; J.Evers, wc, 1910, LoC, P.Thompson; J.Maddon-B.Bean.VPSR&I, wc, 10.26.16, A.PardavilaIII; Can-of-corn
Posted: 4.17.17 @ 2:19pm EST; Copyright © 2017

NFL17 – Las Vegas: Think Symbolism Is For Suckers? Try Sitting Out Francis Scott Key

6 Apr

Las Vegas Raiders: It has a certain NFL ring to it, no pun, even as I’m not a fan of the relocation. But “a rose is a rose,” i.e., it is what it is, in pragmatic speak.

The Raiders name is not what I would envision for the League’s newest member of metropoli (2019), a family of locales where, once you’re in it’s not hard to get out (Oakland, San Diego, St. Louis), i.e., no knuckle-crushing or horse-head sheets. Though, Davis-the-Younger will no doubt take heed of Tom’s warning, “you can’t go home again,” not to set things right, anyway.

That’s not because the silver & black pirate-guy image is not a terrific motif. Arguably, it’s the NFL’s best. I’ve got a hat and cherish it. And its slogan from the mind of AFL original and their legendary owner Al Davis (d.2011), ‘just win baby,’ flows from the lips like wine on a Spanish galleon.

But when a city (LV) – State (NV) contract to commit $1.5 billion (+) to build a new home in cement & girders, coupled with the fact that those parties-of-the-first-part are landlocked (not oceanside), they’ve every right…no, they’ve every obligation to nix half-measures, start anew and wave their own design.

I like the Nevada Sunsets or Las Vegas Buffets (seriously) as new name possibilities, but if the Raiders name remains, which it probably will, the slogan and uniforms will need some detail work: ‘Just roll baby’ and gold ($) trim to create a sense of both separation and remembrance of their California roots.

— — —

Back to the decision to relocate, a move marking the ramblin’ Raiders third attempt to find a permanent home (‘82-94 LA).

I’m no curmudgeon. I like football.

I like city- states that’ll fork over the ducats to get it done (new stadium).

And I like games of chance in their proper place, person and time. But this is neither the place nor the time to set-up shop in the gambling capital of the Milky Way galaxy, outer rim, notwithstanding.

NFL Cufflinks collected in Phoenix the last weekend in March and voted on Monday 31-1 (Mia) to give go-ahead to majority holder Mark Davis to move his father’s silver & black baby from Oakland 400 miles southeast to Sin City.

Vegas’ detractors in its smaller TV market (#40 +/-) (Bay area #5 +/-), and a more transient, tourist-based economy were obviously out-weighed by its biggest asset in that the citizenry of Nevada are willing to foot a little over one-third the $2 billion bill expected for a new stadium planned to open for play in 2020.

But sport + gambling (≠ success) = $#8%?@!! (big trouble).

Does an NFL presence in Las Vegas (NHL’s Golden Knights (there’s a bold name) begin play in 2017) necessarily mean team personnel will be rubbing shoulders with corrupt elements, those who’d solicit game-change (fix)? No, it does not.

The morality of individual or corporate greed aside, Vegas’ strip is no longer gangster-operated as it was in the heyday of heavies (1950 – 70s) as depicted so colorfully (gulp) in the Martin Scorsese crime-drama, Casino (95).

It’s now quite the opposite as Sin City is one of American’s favorite destinations for family fun, food and wholesome frolic.

As for betting, practically anyone, anywhere with internet capability can make a wager in 2017. Knowing a bookie, or as “Jim Rockford” would’ve quipped, “those short little guys in their green cigars,” is no more necessary than dressing up for the game in fedora and dress-jacket (See; 50s photos).

And that, while gambler age seems of little concern to sport moguls or Americans in general as all the Majors have been soliciting investments from children by way of fantasy for a decade now yet raising not a peep from politicos nor socialites.

It’s one thing to bombard kids with shoe and team apparel advertisements where the buyer gets something concrete in return, but the fantasy gamble offers no such quid pro quo, only speculation as if it were Romper Room roulette.

The goings-on in Las Vegas is not so much the problem with it housing a major pro sport team, but rather, the symbolism of what used to go-on (bone-break / life-savings lost) and still does in the Neon City (gambling galore).

‘What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ may apply to a whole slew of sultry affairs in Sin Central but not when it comes to symbolism.

The city’s wagering reputation, even as fun-parks fill-up daily with families working to scrub that image clean, will remain the same were the Girl & Boy Scouts, Policeman’s Benevolent Society and Sisters of Notre Dame to all relocate their headquarters to Nevada’s most populous city.

That means the message will remain the same with a Vegas major: ‘Gambling is good for everyone in the NFL fan family, its partners in business and pink-wear (ACS),’ where the gamble cancer-patients and families fretfully undertake every-day is the costliest of all and was the real message behind early Breaking Bad.

While I’m confident the vast majority of Nevada citizenry are as hard-working (or lazy) as anywhere else in America and probably have little or no connection to the gamble, that’s not what the public nor players will see.

Some jocks might use Vegas venue as excuse to cross the line (‘Hey, the Big Boys (NFL) are rolling in it, takin’ chances, why not me?’). Why not indeed? It’s a crossover that, if it did happen and were detected today by League watch-dogs would likely not be broadcast in the news as it was in 1919-20 (Black Sox).

Can’t mess with the golden goose, right? Right. And athletes don’t need another reason to cheat themselves and the fans (See; PEDs).

Think of former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick, aka, Kaep Krusader, and ask yourself if symbolism doesn’t matter.

Kaepernick was never gonna’ be an elite QB, not with his red-zone blues, a habit of coming up empty on the goal-line late in the big game (SB47 – NFCC14). It was a run-QB skill-set that would keep him in the back-up or temporary starter’s role. Once that status became clear in 2016, the Anthem kneel-down began as he threw caution to the wind which became his best completion percentage (ugh).

But Kaepernick’s matured in the pocket, less likey to rabbit and improved TD ratio (v. INT) which should’ve made him an ideal clip-boarder to have rostered if a starter goes down. But no such luck for him, not at this posting.

Clearly, it’s not CK’s limited skill-set that has him waiting on the phone call. Had he caught one more break and put it in the end-zone to win SB47 (+ power-outage), he’d be sporting one of those god-awful-looking champion rings.

And it’s not his National anthem stance, or sit, in protest of what he claims a brutal American police policy. These United States were born in protest (1776-83) and can appreciate, or at least stomach, a sincere objection.

Instead, it’s Kaepernick’s racist pig socks that depicted only white (pink) police that he sported as he hit stride on his shtick, which has him persona non grata and unemployed apart from Beats By Dre, etcetera. And that’s not owner collusion, that’s fighting the good fight against ignorance and hatred.

Symbolism matters. Money matters, too.

But when you make a pact to be the gambling Mecca to every creature with coin or credit (‘Take me to your (ATM)’), a social contract Las Vegan elders freely entered, you forfeit the moral right to house a major professional sporting enterprise, meaning, all bets are off, or on, or whatever the bad one is.

The National Football League, who, ironically, have been successfully fighting a legal battle against the sport-betting biz, it’s sponsors and current Vegas elders are all in breach, non-actionable as that state will remain.

Steven Keys
NFL HunchLine
Photo credit: R.Goodell, NFL, wc.cca, 8.30.12, SSG.T.Wade, USMA; LasVegas-sign, wc, 4.19.05, D.Vasquez; dice-Antonio, wc, JGuzzMaan, 6.24.16; C.Kaepernick, wc, M.Morbeck, 9.9.12; NFL-wikiproject
Posted: 4.6.17 @ 12:28am EST, edit 4.10; Copyright © 2017

NFL17: A Patriots Peer, It’s Back To Top-Tier or These Packers Turn Flat-Beer

28 Mar

Pretendership: It’s an NFL station most Green Bay Packers devotees have never knelt before in prayer for guidance and delivery. Anyone rooting for the Acme club yet having no recollection of the play that made John Brockington and Lynn Dickey house-hold names in the badger state is probably in that blessed group.

But that’s for later.

For now, just imagine rooting for an NFL team, one that not only wins most of its regular season games but will have on display any given year a future Cantonese or two roaming the turf, that for most of your conscious life has been an NFL contender. Imagine that. Easy enough for New England Patriots faithful but for the rest of fandom it’s a little hard to picture even in the mind’s eye.

Twenty-five years of pretty much football bliss in Northeastern Wisconsin’s Fox Valley, thanks in large part to two men (GMs), four if you count the coaches (Holmgren / McCarthy), six if you include the QBs (Favre / Rodgers).

Sure, there were some struggles, a few 8-8s seasons, even a couple losing campaigns, but there was always an easy scapegoat to find (Ray Rhodes, Mike Sherman, Bill Schroeder) and soon enough the Good Ship Green & Yellow would find its contender course again and all was ship-shape.

The Ron Wolf and Ted Thompson Packers have never dominated the sport as did former Green Bay juggernauts under Vince Lombardi (60s) or founding father Curly Lambeau (20-40s) but playoff births have been nearly automatic since 1992 and the two Super Bowl victories (1997 & 2011) have given the period of prosperity a legitimacy that can only come with championships.

While the Patriots recent reign of championships is incomparable in this still newish century of play, it’s not hyperbole to write that it is actually the Packers, hang with me here, by way of a crafty continuity in success that’ve been the more impressive of NFL’s two most juggernautious franchises these past 25 years.

Sure, New England coaching genius Bill Belichick and his sure-to-be 1st ballot HOF quarterback extraordinaire in Tom Brady are likely the most terrific title tandem in the Super Bowl era (See also; Noll & Bradshaw, Landry & Staubach, Walsh & Montana), but the manners in which both Wolf and then Thompson engineered their respective coach – QB tandems-in-terrificness are the templates in ‘How To,’ 1) Acquire a diamond-in-the-rough bench-warmer (Brett (ATL)), and 2) draft a replacement (Aaron) for a living legend.

Just imagine, two consecutive GMs who respectively displayed an expertise in post-draft patience (Ron) and then prediction on player longevity (Ted), that player in Favre being, to Wisconsin sports fans, next to God, making it very risky business to draft any heir apparent in 2005 (Aaron).

Wolf’s persistence and then shrewd calculation in extracting Favre from Atlanta’s roster in trading a #1 pick (respectful enough to get their interest but not so generous to get ’em wondering) should be an example to every GM and fantasy fan, i.e., that post-draft follow-up can be of greater value than draft day doings.

And Thompson, in showing Brett the door by drafting the Berkeley Bear Rodgers in 2005, took one humongous gamble. To appreciate just how bold a move it was you have know just how popular was the man from Southern Miss.

Directly north up in Wisconsin, Favre was bigger than Lombardi had ever been, in part because every female sport fan in America’s Dairyland had become enamored with the dude. And that’s putting it mildly.

You think Tom Brady’s huge in 2017? He is, but Brett Favre was huger. Hell, Brett was bigger than the NFL. The Green Bay Renaissance that he and his team fashioned, back-to-back Super Bowls and plenty o’ playoff action, briefly put them in the America’s Team seat, after the Aikman Cowboys disbanded, a starry status that played no small role in facilitating formation of the still budding international game in the early 2000s (Mexico City (05), London (07)).

Consider that when “Onslow (Geoff Hughes)” dons Packers gear on the hit British TV comedy, Keeping Up Appearances (1990-95),” it’s not because of NFL rules changes or networks addition of female sideliners. It was Favre, plain & simple.

So if Rodgers doesn’t pan out when handed the offensive reins in 2008, Ted probably gets run out of paper-mill country on a rail, figuratively speaking, after hustling out the family dog first (See; Devine ‘74). But instead, the pan turned up gold and Ted will get a street named after himself, if he hasn’t already.

“Mississippi,” as Falcons Jerry Glanville referred to the rookie QB in smirk, had a couple good seasons left in the tank when he exited Lambeau: An injury-affected Jets campaign (10-6) and two seasons with arch-rival Minnesota, the first in 2009 which would be his best single statistical show and see the Vikes fall to the Bounty-gate Saints in the NFCC10-OT and finale when he dragged himself back for one more go before hanging up his Canton-bound cleats.

♫ Shades of Mediocrity ♫

Mercurial might aptly describe the 2016-17 Green Bay Packers.

Hovering around .500 to the midway, then going three (losses) in the hole, the Pack found some consistency the rest of the way (6 + 2PS) until getting stomped in the NFCC at Mercedes-Benz (Georgia) Dome (44-21 (24-0 H)).

The party isn’t over, not by a long shot, not while perennial MVP entry Aaron Rodgers has his legs underneath and maintains his pin-point passing precision. But some of the good-times have started to head for the exits and a few of those that remain are looking a bit green around the gills (gulp).

One of those always in attendance is the Green Bay defense. It’s a curiosity for even as they helped raise a Lombardi for head coach Mike McCarthy in 2011, it’s also a unit that’s looked wather wobbly since the Reggie White – George Koonce – Sean Jones – LeRoy Butler bunch broke-up.

Team ranks tell the tale. In 2016, the Green figured about where they usually do in the McCarthy era, 22nd in yards allowed per game (364), 21st in points (24+). In the NFCC17 those middling marks came home to roost as Atlanta feasted.

At the center of the defensive scheme has been The Hair, sack-minded linebacker Clay Matthews. Never a top tackler, perplexing for a middle-man, Clay’s numbers have been trending down since that Super season to the point where real value should be a real question for GB staff. He does make a fun soup commercial.

The run game, as party-goers go, hasn’t had much to say lately.

The weighty part of the ball-carry was spending most of its time at the buffet. But Lacy’s gone now and won’t find better eats in the greater Seattle metro, that is unless you really like salmon. And maybe that‘s the point. Bon appétit, Eddie.

Ty Montgomery (2y-SU) filled the void nicely in 2016, for a time, then faded late, 2010 draftee James Starks was not re-signed of , another 2d-yr. in big guy (6’1 255) Aaron Ripkowski (Sooner) will full-back just fine (4.4 – 2td), F/A pick-up Don Jackson (Nevada) had 10 carries last year while former Seahawk Christine Michaels was inked to a deal but has much to prove (9-GS from 2013 (4.3)).

Finding replacements, not mockery, is why the draft matters.

And then there’s Mike ‘What Have You Done For Us Lately’ McCarthy.

Coaching the Green Bay Packers, an early NFL entrant (1921) with accolades enough to fill a cruise liner (sink it along with its Captain in rough waters), is like riding a tiger: When times is good, everybody purrs, but when the champagne rarely flows, the big kitty pitches a fit and sometimes eats its own (gulp).

Mike’s got a monkey on his back clutching an NFCC runner-up trophy in symbol of GB’s disaster known as Cheese-Melt 2015. Packers 1st half lead frittered away and overtime nailed their coffin shut as the Seahawks returned to the Super.

Mike McCarthy has been suffering the “slings and arrows” of regional critics with no return trip to the Big Game. But the rather disappointing playoff runs, enabled by a rather terrific career regular mark (.651), is just part of a pattern he’s displayed since being hired to replace Mike Sherman in 2006. Some good years, a few pedestrian and patience, more patience.

There’s only one Bill Belichick, folks.

Mike’s big mistake was caving to pressure after the Melt to concede offensive play-call, a concession he…revoked (?) at last season’s midpoint. Trust then becomes an issue. But remember, MM turned Packers back into champions when all looked discombobulated, six (6) years after the guy who was prone to sideline temper tantrums left for the State of Washington.

It wasn’t easy filling Favre’s sizable shoes…wait…come to think of it, it actually was pretty easy for Thompson. But Brett was bigger than life and there’s only been one mobile pocket-passer the likes of Mr. Rodgers, a player who, as he will enter his thirteenth (13) NFL summer camp shortly, I’d give four (4) 1Rs in trade today if by some fluke he became free and I a GM in need.

Such a smooth succession in kingly QBs in Packerland in pass of the bejeweled scepter of signal-caller royalty, the Patriots (Belichick – Brady) have not yet displayed. Course, they haven’t had the need. When Tom retires, likely same time Bill hangs up his headset, we’ll see how they do it in Foxborough.

But the Pack are on the championship clock. They need to return to elite status in 2017 (12-4) or their royal carriage may turn pumpkin before anyone expects it.

Last season’s road to the Halas Trophy (NFCC) was not exactly strewn with pot-holes in serious contenders. It was more like the E-ZPass® highway.

The Atlanta Falcons were the real deal in 2016-17 yet may still feel the reel this upcoming campaign from their colossal collapse in SB51.

To write that the rest of the NFC was deficient would be an understatement.

Though much ballyhooed after a W1 loss to the Giants, the Cowboys much anticipated playoff turned Texas-sized soufflé in loss at home to Green Bay; G-Men and Lions proved pretenders, not because they lost in the PS which, by itself is no fraud, but in both getting shellacked; Seattle, never quite the same since losing SB49, gave one of those shellackings (DET) but then got one themselves (ATL); and while Tampa surged to respectability, Redskins never got rhythm, Vikes were extra-mercurial (6-0), Panthers licked their wounds all season (SB50 – L) and pre-season hopeful Arizona never got going.

Residence in the once vaunted North divsion, f/k/a Black & Blue, always boosts the Packers pre-season rank which sits just under Atlanta as NFC favorites, ahead of Seattle (Lacy ≠ Lynch), then Arian’s Cardinals sure to rebound, the Giants, Lions, Dallas who won’t surprise in 2017, D-Vikes, maturing Bucs and sometimes capable conundrums in Redskins, Eagles, Saints and Carolina.

Procuring a reliable run-game is not the challenge that is finding a top-flight, resilient pocket passer, but good ball-carriers don’t grow on trees, either.

Letting lunch-a-lot Lacy exit looks prudent now, but if McCarthy, Thompson and OC in former GB ball-carrier Edgar Bennett cannot in trade or late-April draft find that impactful runner(s) to spell Rodgers and give opposing DCs a ground-attack to diagram, and then the bodies to shore-up a defense that too often turns leaky in rough waters, Packers will continue to get bounced too early from playoffs, Mike will get pink-slipped with no contribution to anyone’s awareness and this era of exuberance will creep to a close, great QB, notwithstanding.

Steven Keys
NFL HunchLine
Photo credit: A.Rodgers-M.McCarthy, wc.cca, M.Morbeck, 9.9.12; Packers-print, wc, 1959; B.Belichick, wc, K.Allison, 8.28.09; A.Rodgers, wc, M.Morbeck, 12.7.08; Minnesota-Vikings-GreenBay-Packers, P.Loadholt-C.Matthews, wc, 11.14.11, M.Morbeck; M.McCarthy, TJ.Grant, wc, 8.11.07; NFL-symbol, wikiproject, Ixnay-Beao
Posted: 3.28.17 @ 11:39am EST, edit 11:01; 3.31; Copyright © 2017

Bonnie and Clyde Ambushed Again, No Badges or Bullets But Bad Manners at Academy Gala

17 Mar

If you think the 89th Academy Awards snafu, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway being handed Best Actress envelope by staffers to announce and present the Best Picture award at the recent gala, was an accident as purported, I’m gonna’ guess there’s a good chance you’re comfortable too with the following conjectures:

1) Lee Harvey Oswald, double-agent with “Maggies drawers” and friend of clandestines Clay Shaw, David Ferrie, bag-man Jack Ruby and the FBI, fired off five shots in 3.5 seconds with one of the worst bolt-action rifles in history, ordered in the mail, aimed through a live oak in November from the Texas School Book Depository to assassinate President Kennedy;

2) A man named Shakspeare (no ‘e’ after ‘k’ spelled 3 ways), son of a Stratford-on-Avon glove-maker, with no public library or apparent capers to fortify his inspiration with the relevant nomenclature (“slang”) filling the voluminous literary product, wrote what most consider to be the greatest compilation of works in this planet’s history and yet by will devised a mere bowl and a sword but made no mention of the manuscripts likely most dear to its author’s heart;

3) Scientists, farmers, fire-fighters, polar ice-cap watchers, coastal residents and other folks in weather-affected livelihoods from around the world are blowing smoke when they red-flag a global-warming they’ve seen first-hand for years;

So how’d you do? Still a believer?

Innocent mishaps do happen but not in the Academy presentation they don’t, not with the Big presentation. In Jackson Pollock speak, “I deny the accident.” Why Mr. Beatty, who later expressed an awareness upon opening the envelope that he’d been handed the wrong card but proceeded to hand it to Dunaway without whisper of explanation is a curious bumble on his part. Age (b. 3.30.37 (79))?

Recently deceased movie expert and much beloved Robert Osborne (TCM) could attest to the fact that there have been errors committed in the AA’s long history, as when Sammy Davis Jr. was handed a wrong card on a music awarding in 1964. But none so serious in this most climactic of moments when the Best Picture Oscar® is announced and the statuette handed to the winner. It’s the high-point of the celebration and the biggest trophy in the bunch.

It’s a well vetted process that for near ninety years going back to the silents has prided itself on a meticulous production to avoid just that dreaded appearance of ineptitude, confusion and takesie backsies we saw in February, not to mention a loss of trust. I will not believe that that standard is not, for most, still in place.

But what’s the motive for one or more, and it’d likely be more (Where’s the fun doing it alone (ugh)?), to recklessly or intentionally throw a monkey-wrench into the works? Jealousy, childish, simple-minded jealousy may‘ve been the culprit.

And what does one do with cold envy? If you’re a snake, you don’t bury it, you find expression for it in skullduggery (See; Hamlet) by making two titans of the industry in Faye and Warren look bad. That they’re old, comparatively speaking, would make the theoretical dirty deed all that more satisfying to the doer(s) who, post-play, would smirk like the Grinch after his Whoville haul-away. Tee-hee.

Today, resentment for anything that is well established, be it a person’s advanced age and concomitant accomplishments, or time-tested traditions, even those that work, especially those that work, is at its apex.

It’s an arrogant mindset that has corporate backing: Out with the old, in with the new, change, change, change, unless of course it’s a helpful myth (See; Above). Don’t eat your young, heavens no, eat your Grandparents, instead. And that, even as everyone’s parade is headed to seniorhood, whether they get there or not.

‘How could they have done it, set them up, it’s so cold, so…dishonest?’ Yup.

I’d imagine it could’ve been accomplished quite easily by any number of people in the Academy or PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) chain-of-custody, made easier by the fact that organizers, while always guarding against flaws in the production through miscommunication and lethargy, were oblivious to even the possibility of one or more of their people intentionally gumming up the works.

Organizers wouldn’t have seen it coming this time but they’ll be on alert now with stepped-up monitoring in preparation and handling of announcement-cards.

Dishonesty and devious minds, they’re as old as Neanderthal short-changing Cro-Magnon in the first trade, ‘club for clams (‘Don’t give him all those, look at his forehead for crying out loud!’).’ But when too many of our leaders and celebrities seem to care not in the least what example they set, corruption grows rampant.

It’s not hard to find a story on corruption or greed today, they’re everywhere: Politics (S.Korea), schools (cheating), business (Volkswagen), media (fake news), the Marines (nude photos).

Sport is my usual theme and there the bad news is almost a daily line:

Olympian Ryan Lochte fabricates a false robbery report to Brazilian police and receives less than a year (10m) suspension from competitive swimming;

Ongoing PED use spans across the sport spectacle. It’s buoyed by enablers and apologists like HOF-voters who, where former baseball star Iván Rodríguez is concerned, enshrined the 13-time gold glove winning catcher in 2017, his first year of eligibility, even as the Puerto Rico native was named in former Texas Rangers’ teammate Jose Canseco’s watershed book, Juiced (05), as a user of performance enhancers with Jose claiming to’ve personally injected Iván (See also PED debate; Olympic swimmers Milorad Cavic v. Michael Phelps);

Michael Sam using an announcement on his sexual orientation as a means to draw attention and maybe preference for the approaching NFL draft;

Notre Dame Heisman hopeful, LB Manti Te’o concocts a story of a non-existent girlfriend who is, of all things, dying from cancer and today rosters in the NFL;

Maybe not NBA players so much as the draft-dingy junior media who encourage the prospect of tanking, and receive monetary compensation to write as much;

— — —

We had streakers in my youth (♫ The Streak (‘74) ♫). Call is spontaneous, kooky, a bit shocking but all in good fun. Today, those nudists have grandkids who take part in flash mobs to try to intimidate and frighten.

Don’t expect more shenanigans at the Academy Awards in the near future. Nobody wants pandemonium. Strike that, MOST don’t want pandemonium.

But if I’m over fifty-five and work in the movies, I wouldn’t plan on ever attending the big ceremony ever again, not until someone come’s clean or gets called on that red carpet. And then I’m not forgetting how Maureen O’Hara was treated.

And dilly-dally on that issue shouldn’t forestall the decision to find another new host for the 2018 AA and let Jimmy Kimmel focus on his talk show, or better yet, get back to what he’s best at, Crank Yank(ing). At least “Special Ed,” “Birchum” and “Gladys” were all real, god love ‘em.

Steven Keys
Photo credit: Oscar® statuette, wc.cca, 1951, Kon-Tiki, V.Atanassova; W.Beatty, wc, A.Light, 3.26.90; Oscars®, I.Hayes, Enterprise, Shaft, 4.22.72, wc; Oscars®, Bjork-Swan, 2001, Marjan-Pejoski, C.D.Riccio, wc; Oscars®, T.Hanks, 1989, wc, Light; Oscars®, wc, Hopper-Bigelow, 2.28.11, AA83, C.Lazo, Army; D.Taylor, wc, 1967, Bonnie&Clyde, WB-7A
Posted: 3.17.17 @ 1:10pm, edit 11:17; Copyright © 2017

MLB17: Cubs Atop, Everything Old Is New Again, Even 19c. Championships, SABR-Snobs

9 Mar

Set to defend their first MLB title since 1908, the Chicago Cubs have stepped off cloud nine and back onto terra firma to begin their quest for a 2nd title-in-tandem (1907-08) by taking to spring training in their longtime Arizona locale.

Success has a way of opening passage ways in the mind heretofore unexplored and the Cubs brains must be booty-laden with new discoveries. Not likely, though, that franchise history is big on their brains, not since their World Series win over the Indians (4-3) and subsequent victory parade that wove its way through the Windy City last November.

What else is not on the Cubs’ brains is pre-season predictions.

Spring training will trigger in the mind of baseball writers a slew of topics to typically include new roster additions, departures and the all important pitching rotation with ancillary arms in relief included.

To those media who matriculate in the sabrmetric school, the last degrees of winter and early buds of spring will always lead to, ta-da, the ranking, i.e., ‘Who‘s #1?’ It’s click-bait and best served when the entrée has cooled down (all-time greats) and won’t burn the palate with rank predictions.

Almost any other March in any other year the question of who is baseball’s pre-season best would be a small curiosity.

But if you have to ask ‘who’ in this particular spring (See; Cubs), even in rhetoric, you may be better suited to the mock draft department, all leagues and associations, where the minutia of musings on the ephemeralia of college hopefuls never ends, if you can find a seat. Crowded in there.

To history, it can’t be denied that the legion of Bruins fans, numbering more than the ancient Roman and Yankees empires combined, coupled with story-driven media, will be, on regular occasion, reveling this season in that long, glorious Cubs chronicle of great teams and players, right up until the present version take to the post-season in hunt for that dynasty-affirming, fairly elusive, back-to-back World Series win (See; SF, LAA, LAD, KC, PIT, MIN, CHW, STL, BAL, etc.).

The Cubbies have hit, pitched, fielded and run those bases all the way back to elite status, making it entirely appropriate now to take those moth-balled memories, some sweet, some bitter, out of storage to put on display to keep reminding us from where we came and then where we hope to go.

William Hulbert

Feeling Western baseball was getting the high-hat treatment from Eastern snobs, Chicagoan William Hulbert (1832 – 82) founded and, after its initial campaign (1876), assumed presidency of both the White Stockings (Cubs) and the National League, holding the fledgling 8-team organization together through its toughest times in bravely tackling issues in game-fixing and scheduling indifference by banishing offenders, and corralling destabilizing players on the money chase in instituting movement restrictions, i.e., the first reserve clause.

1876 – 77 White Stockings: The first MLB championship

Al Spalding
Deacon White
Ross Barnes
Cal McVey

Adrian Constantine “Cap” Anson (1B – Mgr, 1876 – 96)

When recounting the history of the National League Chicago baseball club (1876), first known as the White Stockings, then Colts, Orphans and today’s Cubs, or for that matter the chronicle of major league baseball itself, it begins with Adrian “Cap” Anson, the profession’s early notable batsman, manager and personality. His numbers, no matter disingenuous efforts by contemporary sabrmetric tinkers & twiddlers to deplete, do remain, as his tenure (1871 – 1898), stellar benchmarks (1939 (HoF)) for baseball hopefuls.

Noteworthy in Anson’s career is having managed the Stocks to five (5) championships in seven seasons (1880-86), the major’s first dynasty. That’s championships, NOT pennants, for where there’s one pennant-winner in a season there necessarily must be an opposite organization with their own flag-waver, both of whom meet in an official, culminatory contest. And when a team does all that the schedule permits, even with no money-grab playoff or opposite League face-off (which is no perfect test, anyway (See; Cubs 1906 & Pats 2007-08)), and compiles the best record of the assemblage (8), THAT is a championship as worthy as any World Series won in 2017.

Those achievements would tarnish after his death (1922) as Cap’s role in setting the color barrier, in particular the ban of Fleet Walker, the first American black player to roster in the majors (Toledo 1883-84). Though his stance is of record, Anson’s impact is much debated. Of no debate is that no Caucasian of note, in sport or politics, called to break the ban until Mr. Rickey, testament that we are a product of our times. Do we then strike all names from MLB annals pre-1947? What thinkers had done since Gutenberg’s press was to balance the good against bad, expecting that Anson today would regret his greed. And given that the mass of sport media in 2017 would enshrine misdeeders Clemens & Bonds if given the chance, striking such a balance should come easy.

1880 – 86 Stocks: Five (5) championships, three in-a-row

Larry Corcoran
Fred Goldsmith
Michael “King” Kelly
Frank Gore
Abner Dalrymple
Tommy Burns –
Ned Williamson
John Clarkson

1890 – 1900 Colts – Orphans

Clark Griffith
Bill Hutchinson

Frank Selee (Mgr. 1902-05 (d.1909))

Former Braves championship manager (x5) shaped the Cubs’ roster that would, under Frank Chance’s leadership, gel into the greatest team in baseball history.

1906 – 1910 Cubs: Four pennants, back-to-back WS titles

Joe Tinker
Johnny Evers
Frank Chance
Jack Taylor
Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown
Orval Overall
Ed Ruelbach
Frank “Wildfire” Schulte
Heinie Zimmerman
Harry Steinfeldt
Johnny Kling
Carl Lundgren
Jack Pfiester and King Cole

1914 – 15: Chas. Weeghman Park (Wrigley) opens – Whales (Federal)

1918 NL Pennant (L v. Boston (4-2))

Though falling to the Speaker – Ruth – Red Sox, the Bruins scored more runs and fashioned a lower team ERA than the Beaneaters.

Hippo Vaughn
Claude Hendrix
Lefty Tyler
Charlie Hollocher
Fred Merkle
Grover Cleveland “Pete” Alexander (1918-25)

1921 – 22: Bill Wrigley acquires majority holding in the Cubs; First-bagger Ray Grimes sets the consecutive-game RBI streak at 17 in 1922.

1929 – 1945: Pennants (5), Hack-Attack and Ruth’s called shot (‘32 WS)

Joe McCarthy (Mgr. 1929 WS)
Charlie Root
Kiki Cuyler
Rogers Hornsby
Hack Wilson (191 RBI in 1930)
Lon Warneke
Charlie Grimm (player-Mgr. 1932, 35, 38 (H) & 45; ashes on Wrigley (83))
Billy Herman
Dizzy Dean
Bill Lee
Claude Passeau
Stan Hack
Bill Nicholson
Phil Cavarretta
Andy Pafko

Gabby Hartnett
Mgr. – player 1938 World Series: “Homer in the Gloamin’”

With the 1938 season closing and Pirates clinging to 1st place, the leaders headed to neck-breather Chicago for a key 3-game clash where catcher Charles “Gabby” Hartnett won G2 on a thrill by clouting a 9th inning tator at twilight (gloaming (Scottish)), inspiring his Cubs to sweep that series and St. Louis to grab the flag. Sadly for the Faithful, inspiration waned as the Yanks swept Chicago in four.

1950s Lean Years

Hank Sauer (MVP 1952)
Ernie Banks (MVP 1958-59)

I met the great Ernie Banks in his baseball gloaming, aka, twilight (Are you paying attention?), in the summer of 1971, not long after he’d retired from the game and was holding a signing for his new book titled, Mr. Cub, on the sidewalk outside a store in my suburban Chicago town of Glencoe. My parents provided well for me and my five siblings, always top Christmas and birthday gifts, but getting a toy or $15 (?) book on short notice off-holiday was out of the question. I’d eventually get Ernie’s book, still have it, but not until the next year. So, I being 9 yrs old, wanting his autograph, a bit bold but lacking in full discretion, asked Banks for his signature on my Mickey Mantle Rawlings® ball glove. The legend obliged, sans that signature smile. But I, not satisfied (‘Hey, hey, let’s (get) two!’), put an ever-so-small piece of paper no bigger than a JFK 50 cent piece, onto the table for another mark. Well, Ernie Banks was not pleased, not pleased at all. But I was pleased as punch and skedaddled home. I lost that scrap signature but still will with regularity gaze and smile upon the Mantle glove with Banks name in green-felt pen. Thanks, Mr. Cub.

Ken Hubbs Cut Short

Were he alive today he’d be 75 (12.23.41), but promising young 2nd bagger Ken Hubbs, whose slick field and capable bat won him a gold glove and 1962 ROY honors, along with his small aircraft passenger Dennis Doyle, both tragically died in plane crash near Provo, Utah on February 13, 1964 enroute to Doyle’s home and wife who’d recently given birth, in Colton, California.

Durocher’s Revival (1965 – 72)

Leo “The Lip,” who’d rostered with Murderers’ Row (‘28-9), Gashouse Gang (34), guided the Bums to a flag (41), Giants to glory (54) and then returned the sorry Cubs back to respectability, takes most the flak for Cubbies late season swoon in 1969 when their All-Star laden squad appeared headed to their first World Series in almost a quarter century. And poppycock to that. Durocher gets his share, of course, but cry-babies and clueless veterans must bear most the burden for the old man. Those of us who remember (I was just a gerbil then, but I do recall my Gramps telling me, ‘Hey Steve, Kessinger went 4-for-4 yesterday!) point no fingers but form a half-smile at what might’ve been and the joy that was.

Ernie Banks
Billy Williams
Fergie Jenkins
Ron Santo
Don Kessinger
Glenn Beckert
Randy Hundley
Don Young
Bill Hands
Ken Holtzman
Phil Regan
Ted Abernathy
Jim Hickman
Dick Selma

1970s Malaise

Bill “Mad Dog” Madlock: BA titles 1975-76
Rick “Bid Daddy” Reuschel: 1973-81, 83-84

1981: Tribune Company buys Cubs

Dallas Green Unstitches ‘Loser’ Tag

It seemed to come outta’ nowhere, the super and ultimately sad season of 1984. If ‘Big Brother’ was watching he must’ve had a good laugh on us Chicago Cubs fans, with unexpected help from corporate Commissioner and Evanston native, Peter Ueberroth who saw fit to give 2nd best NL record-holders but nite-game capable, the San Diego Padres, home field which proved decisive in the short series (3-2). Cubs were sunshine supermen in G1 (13-0) and 2 (4-2), then should-be HOF’er Steve Garvey and electee (07), Tony Gwynn took control for San Diego.

Jim Frey
Don Zimmer
Harry Caray & Steve Stone
Ryne Sandburg
Rick Sutcliffe
Leon Durham
Thad Bosley
Greg Maddux
Bob Dernier
Ron Cey
Henry Cotto
Gary Matthews
Lee Smith
Tim Stoddard
Steve Trout
Larry Bowa
Dennis Eckersley
Richie Hebner
Jody Davis, ♫ catcher without a peer (H.Caray) ♫

1989 NLCS (L 4-1 v. SF)

Don Zimmer
Ryne Sandberg
Andre Dawson
Shawon Dunston
Lloyd McClendon
Mark Grace
Greg Maddux
Jerome Walton
Dwight Smith
Mitch Webster
Rick Sutcliffe
Mike Bielecki
Scott Sanderson
Mitch Williams

1998 NLDS (L 3-0 v. ATL), Mgr. Jim Riggleman

2003 NLCS (L 4-3 v. FLA)

Call it reasonable fan interference, meaning, Steve Bartman wasn’t obliged to remain seated with 1) real chance of being hit by a foul ball, and 2) expectation no Cubs player could’ve snagged it. As such, no ejection. But because Alou did have a chance to grab the wall-straddling foul-ball, hence his protest, umpires were obliged to call fan interference yet cowered from their duty in not charging the out to eventual rally team, Florida. But Cubs were 88-74 in 2003, making fans unbridled expectations unreasonable and the outcome digestible.

Dusty Baker
Sammy Sosa
Moises Alou
Mark Grudzielanek
Corey Patterson
Alex Gonzalez
Kenny Lofton
Mark Prior
Kerry Wood
Carlos Zambrano
Matt Clement
Joe Borowski
Aramis Ramirez
Kyle Farnsworth
Mike Remlinger

The Piniella Years

2007 NLDS (L 3-0 v. AZ)
2008 NLDS (L 3-0 v. LA)

The Ricketts (09) – EpsteinMaddon Years

2015 NLCS (L 4-0 v. STL)
2016 WS (W 4-3 v. Indians)

Dallas had a certain touch in managing (PHI ‘80 WS) and generaling (CHC ‘84, 89), but Theo Epstein & Joe Maddon have a clobber between ‘em, like in that Weavers’ song ( If I had a hammer…), forging winners like a blacksmith did a wheel frame for proper strength and balance in the long journey. Yee-hah!

Joe Maddon
Anthony Rizzo
Dexter Fowler
Jon Lester
Kyle Hendricks
Travis Wood
Ben Zobrist
Hector Rondon
Addison Russell
Trevor Cahill
Javier Baez
Kris Bryant
Jason Hammel
Aroldis Chapman
John Lackey
Jake Arrieta

Play ball!

Steven Keys
Can of Corn
Photo credits: Cubs-logo,1914, Wjmummert, wc.cca; E.Banks, Bowman, 1955, wc; K.Bryant, wc, 7.9.14, M.Haas; W.Hulbert, NYPL, wc; Chicago-White-Stockings, 1885, wc; Cubs, 1906, wc, BPL; G.Hartnett, Goudey, 1933, wc; GlennBeckert, wc, 1967, TSN; H.Mason-D.Green, SABRO, wc, 8.1.09; can-of-corn
Posted: 3.9.17 @ 11:10am EST, edit 3.10, 3.11, 3.18; Copyright © 2017

Yore Movie Swells: ‘We..Rob..Banks’ and the Bonniest Lines In Classic Film Dialogue

16 Feb

Even omitting the TCM index and Shakespeare (Ed de Vere) flicks, there are more indelible lines in the remaining 100+ years of movie dialogue than there are lights to carpet a starry night sky. That includes the silent era, their captions and speaking parts in most every language under the Sun.

One clever quip certainly won’t carry a film but where there’s one golden nugget there’s sure to be more. With a top script, a director can make what would normally constitute just so many sharp looking wait-staff and personal trainers (actors) sound like gosh-darn poets.

Great dialogue can be as lengthy as Orson Welles “cuckoo clock” pitch (The Third Man) or as brief as Elizabeth Taylor’s modish “wow” as she peeked in on lonely billiard boy Montgomery Clift (A Place in the Sun).

It can be sung (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg), whistled (“Steve” in To Have and Have Not), set to motion (Davis’ coat drape on Ratloff in All About Eve), read in the wink of an eye (Poitier to cell-mate Wilson In the Heat of the Night), a raise of the eye-brows (Shearer on Lermontov news in The Red Shoes), a hand gesture (Ferrer’s puppets in Lili) and even delivered in rodent-speak (Perri). All meaning that nearly every action in a film, a good one, that is, makes a statement.

shearer-wc-m-feinstein-10-11-54-307k

Some of the quotes listed herein are célébrité (“We’re gonna need a bigger boat (Jaws)”), by itself no warrant for inclusion, others as obscure as this writer’s product. Some are funny, some sentimental, others pointed, viciously vague, suggestive in how far we’ve come or instructive in how far we have to go.

While most movie lines are best appreciated in their context, not subtext (oy vey), like “Tibbs” expert answer In the Heat of the Night (“I believe old Harv is a southpaw, now ain’t he, Shagbag (trooper)? What if he is, what’s that make him (Shagbag)? Innocent (Tibbs)”), most listed herein can stand on their own merit.

With a few exceptions, nearly all of these quotes are in English. That, even as its greatest proponent in the Bard (Shake-a-Spear) is rarely referenced, for if he (or Annie Hall) were, there‘d be no end to this write. What this list is is a smattering of the myriad of verbal gems that’ve been glittering on the silver screen for over a century and harvested in the heart by those viewers who mine for rarity.

This is a listing of memorable movie lines, a smorgasbord of flavorful offerings to sample for the film connoisseur and casual customer alike, not a ranking of the believed greatest dialogue ever delivered.

Selecting your favorites is fine and one can easily separate toppers from routine deliveries. But to claim an ability, a means to rank one line (or title (Citizen Kane (AFI #1 (ugh))) above others because you’ve consulted a cabal of credentialed critics is the highest order of arrogance and a clear sign of a film-lover fake.

So if you like classic flicks (< 2000), glory days for dialogue, and you prefer story over computerized imagery or the contemporary cocktail of gratuitous violence + sex, drink in some of these great lines, all natural flavors, gluten-free, no sugar-added and maybe one of ’em will “make (your) day.” Lights, camera, action!

— — —

-We…rob…banks: Bonnie Parker (Faye Dunaway), Bonnie and Clyde (1967)

-Oh, I don’t know…everybody makes book on something: “Stoker Thompson (Robert Ryan),” The Set-Up (1949)

-Like Steve says, winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing: “Carol Williams (Sherry Jackson),” Trouble Along the Way (1953)

-Sun only shines half the day, Tom (Wayne), the other half is night: “Fen (Coleen Gray),” Red River (1948)

-There are two things better than a good gun, a Swiss watch and a woman from anywhere: “Cherry (John Ireland),” Red River (1948)

-Almost anything coming out of the mouth of Edna May Oliver (1883-1942)

-How would you define ballet, Lady Neston? Well, one might call it the poetry of motion perhaps, or…(Browne). One might, but for me it is a great deal more. For me it is a religion: “Boris Lermontov (Anton Walbrook),” The Red Shoes (1948)

-Why do you want to dance (“Lermontov“)? Why do you want to live?: “Victoria Page (Moira Shearer),” The Red Shoes

-Because dear miss…what was your name (Walbrook)? Victoria Page (Shearer). Yes, Miss Page, because when I come to a party I don’t expect to sit for an audition (Anton). Yes, you are quite right: “Vicky (Shearer),” The Red Shoes

-You cannot alter human nature (Massine). No? I think you can do even better, you can ignore it!: “Lermontov (Walbrook),” The Red Shoes

-You cannot have it both ways (to “Ljubov” & “Page”). A dancer who relies upon the doubtful comforts of human love can never be a great dancer. Never!: “Boris Lermontov (Walbrook),” The Red Shoes

-I want you to dance tonite with the same ecstasy I’ve seen in you only once before. At the Mercury Theatre (Vicky). Yes, in the Mercury Theater in London, on a wet, Saturday afternoon: “Lermontov (Walbrook) (Boris now in love)”

-What the devil have you (Craster) got to be worried about? It’s a fine score, a magnificent score! I only wish I had…go on! Former lead composer and conductor “Livingston ‘Livy’ Montague (Esmond Knight),” The Red Shoes

-Vicky, Vicky, dance to whatever tempo you like. I’ll follow you! New composer and conductor “Julian Craster (Marius Goring),” The Red Shoes

-Would he (“Craster”) give it up if you asked him (Walbrook)? I don’t know (Shearer). You do know! I wouldn’t ask him. Then why is he asking you?! Does he KNOW what he’s asking?: “Lermontov (Walbrook),” The Red Shoes (the crux)

-Nobody else has ever danced the Red Shoes since you left. Nobody else ever shall. Put on the red shoes, Vicky (now entranced), and dance for us again!: “Lermontov (Walbrook),” The Red Shoes

-If I could be anyone, a child who could be brave from the beginning: “Roslyn (Marilyn Monroe),” The Misfits (1961)

-It all blows-up in your face sometimes, doesn’t it?: “Joyce Harwood (Veronica Lake);” The Blue Dahlia (1946)

-I got a new suit (Brian Donlevy). It looks like the suit got you: “The Boss (Akim Tamiroff),” The Great McGinty (1940 (loud suit))

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-You know this fish, he don’t go to school, he don’t know French but he pretty smart, too: “Manuel (Spencer Tracy),” Captains Courageous (1937)

-You (Freddie Bartholomew) show is a tonic to yoself: “Doc” the cook (Sam McDaniel),” Captains Courageous

-He (Douglas) will hug you to pieces then take those pieces home with him: “Manuel (Tracy),” Captains Courageous

-Fiddle dee-dee. War, war, war, this war talk’s spoiling the fun at every party this spring! “Scarlett O’Hara (Vivian Leigh),” Gone With the Wind (1939)

-Whistle (Gable). Gasp (Leigh). Has the war started?: “Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) (meets “Scarlett” for the first time),” Gone With the Wind

-All we’ve got is cotton, slaves and…arrogance: “Butler,” Gone With the Wind

-Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn: “Butler (Gable) (says goodbye to his “Scarlett“),” Gone With the Wind

-But tomorrow…is another day!: “Scarlett (Leigh),” Gone With the Wind

-A tribe’s greatness is figured by how mighty its enemies be: “Del Gue (Stefan Gierasch),” Jeremiah Johnson (1972)

-Is it possible that something is holy to the celebrated agnostic (March)? Yes, the individual human mind in a child’s power to master a multiplication table, there is more sanctity than in all your shouted ‘amens’ and ‘holy holies” and ‘hosannas!’ An idea is a greater monument than a cathedral and the advance of knowledge is a greater miracle than all the sticks turned to snakes or the parting of the waters: “Col. Henry Drummond (Spencer Tracy),” Inherit the Wind (1960).

-Progress has never been a bargain, you have to pay for it. Sometimes I think there’s a man who sits behind a counter and says, ‘all right, you can have a telephone but you lose privacy and the charm of distance. Madam, you may vote, but at a price. You lose the right to retreat behind the powder puff or your petticoat. Mister, you may conquer the air but the birds will lose their wonder and the clouds will smell of gasoline’: “Col. Henry Drummond (Tracy)

-All you have to do is knock on any door and say, ‘If you let me in I’ll live the way you want me to live and I’ll think the way you want me to think and all the blinds will go up and all the doors will open and you’ll never be lonely ever again. If that‘s the case I‘ll change the plea, this is if you know the law‘s right and you’re wrong: “Col Drummond (Tracy),” Inherit the Wind

-Mr. Brady, why do you deny the one faculty of man that raises him above the other creatures of the earth, the power of his brain to reason? What other merit have we? The elephant is larger, the horse swifter and stronger, the butterfly is far more beautiful, the mosquito is more prolific, even the simple sponge is more durable: “Col. Henry Drummond (Tracy),” Inherit the Wind

-The bible is a book. It’s a good book but it is not the only book: “Col. Henry Drummond (Tracy),” Inherit the Wind

-Youth can be so pure. What do you know of good or evil? What do you know of the sum of a man’s life? He betrayed me (Anderson)! You betrayed yourself! You see my husband as a saint, and so he must be right in everything he says and does. And then you see him as a devil and everything he says and does must be wrong. Well, my husband’s neither a saint nor a devil. He’s just a human being and he makes mistakes. How can you defend him? it’s not he I’m defending but the 40 years I’ve lived with this man and watched him carry the burdens of people like you. If he’s been wrong at least he stood for something. What do you stand for? Do you believe in Bertram Cates (York)? I believe in my husband. What do you believe in?: “Mrs. Sara Brady (Florence Eldridge),” Inherit the Wind

-What touches you (Kelly), what warms you? Every man has a dream. What do you dream about? What, what do you need? You don’t need anything, do you, people, love, an idea just to cling to? You poor slob. You’re all alone. When you go to your grave, there won’t be anybody to pull the grass up over your head, nobody to mourn you, nobody to give a damn. You’re all alone (Tracy). You’re wrong, Henry. You’ll be there. You’re the type. Who else would defend my right to be lonely?: “E.K. Hornbeck (Gene Kelly),” Inherit the Wind

-Nobody lives forever: “Nick (John Garfield),” Nobody Live Forever (1946)

-Spill it punk or I’ll splash your brains out!: “Mickey,” 99 River Street (1953)

-Who are you (Wood (POY)))? I’m next: “Tyrone ‘Mr. Clean’ Miller (Laurence Fishburne),” Apocalypse Now (1979)

-You can lick me if you want and I’ll still love you: “Betsy Bartlett McMasters (Claudette Colbert),” Boom Town (1940) (context)

-You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce, the cuckoo clock: “Harry Lime (Orson Welles),” The Third Man (1949)

-Course, a situation like that (black market) does tend to amateurs but…but, well, they (floaters) can’t stay the course: Carol Reed (narrator), The Third Man

-Be sensible, Martins (Howard). I don’t have a sensible name, Calloway: “Holly Martins (Joseph Cotton), The Third Man

-Dancing means everything to me!: “Judy (O’Hara),” Dance, Girl, Dance (1940)

-Pardon, how do I wire congratulations to the Pacific Ocean?: “Matt Libby (Lionel Stander),” A Star is Born (1937) (context)

-In Italian there is a no word for this ‘crooner (“de Vinci (Adolphe Menjou)“). That’s okay, Professor, there’s no word in English for spaghetti: “Dick Purcell (Dick Powell),” Broadway Gondolier (1935)

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-I was married twice before – once at 16, once at 21. One was a crybaby and the other was a caveman. Between the two of them I said goodbye to girlhood: “Helen Wright (Joan Crawford),” Humoresque (1946)

-Here’s to love: “Helen Wright (Joan Crawford),” Humoresque

-The earth is my body, my head is in the stars!: “Maude Chardin (Ruth Gordon),” Harold and Maude (1971)

-Oh, I don’t drink (“Harold (Bud Cort)”). It’s okay, it’s organic: “Maude (Gordon),” Harold and Maude

-It’s best not to be too moral, you cheat yourself out of too much life: “Maude (Gordon),” Harold and Maude

-I made you breakfast…scrambie eggs: “Chip (Jim Carrey),” The Cable Guy

-You mean Heather is a prostitute (“Steve”)? Of course she is, you think a girl like that’d hang out with us if she wasn’t? “Chip (Carrey),” The Cable Guy (1996)

-I always had a hard time realizing how important we are: “George Hasting (Russell Hicks),“ The Big Store (1941)

-Course, I’ll have to notify the police (Gerstle). This is a case for homicide. Homicide (O‘Brien)!? “I don’t think you fully understand, Bigelow, you’ve been murdered: “Dr. MacDonald (Frank Gerstle),” D.O.A (1950)

-I knew there was something wrong with that guy. Never met a gin-drinker yet that you could trust: “Parnell (Arthur O’Connell),” Anatomy of a Murder (1959)

-It’s up to you: Jim Garrison (Kevin Costner)), JFK (1991) (context)

-It was a violation of the most basic protection codes and the best indication of a massive plot (to kill JFK) in Dallas: “Mister X (Donald Sutherland),” JFK (1990)

-I’ll show you how a Prussian officer can fight (Schell). And I’ll show you how the Iron Crosses grow: “Sgt. Rolf Steiner (James Coburn),” Cross of Iron (1977)

-Why don’t you buzz off on your broomstick!: “Maxine (Ava Gardner),” The Night of the Iguana (1964)

-Her eyes said ‘NO’ in big, blue capital letters: “Miss Hannah Jelkes (Deborah Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-All women, whether they want to face it or not, want to see a man in a tied-up situation. They spend their entire lives trying to get a man in a tied-up situation. Their lives are fulfilled when they an get a man or as many men as they can into a tied-up situation!: “Shannon (Richard Burton), The Night of the Iguana

-I respect anyone who’s had to fight and howl for their decency (Kerr). What do you respect in me, Miss Thin, Standing-Up, female Buddha (Burton)!? Far more than I respect those ones who had theirs handed out to them at birth and never afterwards snatched away from them by unbearable torments: “Jelkes (Deborah Kerr), The Night of the Iguana

-And what is my problem, Miss Jeltz (Burton)? The oldest one in the world, the need to believe in someone or something, almost anyone or anything: “Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-I don’t regard a home as a place, a building, bricks, wood, stone. I think of a home a something two people have between them in which each can nest, rest, live in, emotionally speaking: “Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-I’m not a bird, Mr. Shannon. I’m a human being and when one of that unique species builds a nest in the heart of another, the questions of permanence or propagation are not the first or even the last things to be considered: “Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-There are worse things that chastity, Mr. Shannon (Kerr). Yes, lunacy and death: “Shannon (Burton),” The Night of the Iguana

-Nothing human disgusts me, Mr. Shannon, unless it is unkind or violent: “Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-How did you, how did you beat this blue devil of yours (Burton)? I showed him I could endure him and make him respect my endurance: Endurance is something spooks and blue devils respect. And they respect all the tricks panicky people use to outsmart and outlast the panic (Kerr). Like taking deep breaths (Burton)? Or rum cocoas: “Miss Jelkes (Kerr),” The Night of the Iguana

-Why don’t we go down to the beach (Gardner)? I can a…I can get down hill, Maxine, but I’m not too sure about getting back up (Burton). I’ll get you back up, Baby. I’ll always get you back up: “Maxine (Gardner),” The Night of the Iguana

-He wishes: “Charlotte Vale (Bette Davis”), Now, Voyager (1942)

-If we both try hard to protect that little strip of territory that is ours: “Charlotte (Bette Davis),” Now, Voyager

-Oh Jerry, don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars: “Charlotte (Bette Davis),” Now, Voyager (context)

-(On plane, “Jack” shows his altered FBI badge now with his picture to 9 (?) boy seated aside): It looks fine…to me: Scott McAfee, Midnight Run (1987)

-You two are dumbest bounty hunters in history…you couldn’t deliver a bottle of milk!: “Jon Mardukas (Charles Grodin),” Midnight Run

-Did you ever have sex with an animal, Jack? Remember those chickens around the Indian Reservation, there were some good-looking chickens around there, Jack, you know, between us (Grodin). Yeah, there were a couple there I mighta’ taken a shot at (laughter): “Jack Walsh (Robert De Niro),” Midnight Run

-I don’t think she’s coming back (Grodin). Yeah, I don’t either, I don’t either (De Niro). Sometimes you just have to let go, just get yourself a new watch: “Jon (Grodin),” Midnight Run (context)

-What do you think you are, for Christ-sake, crazy or something? We’ll you’re not, no crazier than the average asshole out walking the street: R.P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson),” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

-Koufax’ curveball is snapping off like a fucking fire-cracker: “McMurphy (Jack Nicholson),” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

-Somebody give me a wiener before I die!: “Randall P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson),” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

-Mr. Scanlon (Fletcher)? I want to know why the dorm is locked in the daytime and the weekends: “Scanlon (Delos Smith),” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

-A man like him (“Jim McKay“)…is very rare: “Ramon (Alfonso Bedoya),” The Big Country (1958) (context)

-All I can say McKay is you take a hell of a long time to say goodbye: “Steve Leach (Charlton Heston),” The Big Country (moonlight fistfight)

-Greenhorns have to get knocked around a little: “Jim McKay (Gregory Peck),” The Big Country (1958)

-Obviously Mr. McKay is man who is afraid of only one thing, that people may suspect him of showing off: “Julie Maragon (Jean Simmons),” The Big Country

-You want me, Pop (Connors)? Before you was born, I did: “Rufus Hannassey (Burl Ives),” The Big Country

-I’m not responsible for what people think, only for what I am: “Jim McKay (Gregory Peck),” The Big Country

-How do you like Blanco Canyon, huh (Ramón)? It’s a hell of place for sailor: “Jim McKay (Gregory Peck),” The Big Country

-Some people you can’t insult at all, others get upset over the littlest thing: “Pat Terrell (Carroll Baker),” The Big Country

-An amazingly good actor met an amazingly receptive audience: Napoleon Bonaparte (Claude Rains), Hearts Divided (1936)

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Ned Sparks (1883-1957)

-And how is your cousin, Edmond de Boeldieu, who was Military Attaché in Berlin (von Stronheim)? He is well and happy. He lost an arm and married a very rich wife (Fresnay). A fine career: “Captain von Rauffenstein (Erich von Stronheim),” The Grand Illusion (1937)

-I ain’t spittin’ on my whole life: “Monte (Lee Marvin),” Monte Walsh (1970 (turning down job as a Western dude))

-I want to make love to you until you scream (Morris). Can’t scream!: “Jerry Martin (Norma Shearer),” The Divorcee (1930)

-She’s a grifter, just like her brother. Probably had grifter parents and grifter grandparents and someday they’re each gonna’ spawn little grifter kids: “Tom (Gabriel Byrne),” Miller’s Crossing (1990)

-Nobody knows anybody, not that well: “Tom (Byrne),” Miller’s Crossing

-Old man’s still an artist with the Thompson: “Terry (L.Flaherty),” Miller’s

-If you can’t trust a fix, what can you trust?: “Caspar (J.Polito),” Miller’s

-You used to be big (Holden). I am big, it’s the pictures that got small: “Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson),” Sunset Boulevard (1950)

-There were children in those days (Revolution) who lived off human flesh: “Lt. Gen. Yevgraf Andreyevich Zhivago (Alec Guinness),” Doctor Zhivago (1965)

-Don’t you want to believe it (Guinness)? Not if it isn’t true!: “Tonya Komarova (Rita Tushingham),” Doctor Zhivago

-A nameless number (Christie) on a list that was later mislaid: Lt. Gen. Yevgraf Andreyevich Zhivago (Alec Guinness),” Doctor Zhivago

-You only had one glass (Cowan)? But you kept filling it up: “Jeffrey Baird (Edward Everett Horton),” Shall We Dance (1937)

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-I want to change their minds, not kill them for having the same weaknesses we all possess: Mohandas Gandhi (Ben Kingsley), Gandhi (1982)

-It’s the story of my life, I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop: “Sugar (Marilyn Monroe), Some Like It Hot (1959)

-You don’t’ understand Osgood, I’m a man (Lemmon)! We’ll, nobody’s perfect: “Osgood Fielding III (Joe E. Brown),” Some Like It Hot

-I’m getting a cramp in the most peculiar place: “Francesca Cunningham (Ann Todd),” The Seventh Veil (1945)

-Life is short, art long, decision difficult and experiment perilous: “Bederaux (Paul Lukas),” Experiment Perilous (1944)

-So help me, he (Jordan Benedict IV) looks like a little wet-back: “Bick Benedict (Rock Hudson),” Giant (1956)

-Never trust a nigger (Hackman). He could’ve been white (Scheider). Never trust anyone!: “Popeye Doyle (Gene Hackman),” The French Connection (1971)

-Take your last look at free-side, kid: Inmate (Gail Bonney?), Caged (1950)

-For that forty bucks I heisted, I certainly got myself an education: “Marie Allen (Eleanor Parker),” Caged (1950)

-Can’t beat aces: “Nick (Humphrey Bogart),” The Wagons Roll at Night (1941)

-La-dee-da, la-dee-da: “Annie Hall (Diane Keaton),” Annie Hall (1977)

-The only word for this is transplendent: “Pam (Shelley Duvall),” Annie Hall

-You know how to whistle, don’t you Steve? You just put your lips together and, blow: “Slim (Lauren Bacall),” To Have and Have Not (1944)

-He didn’t invent it (Bogart). Invent what (Moran)? Being afraid: “Harry ‘Steve’ Morgan (Humphrey Bogart),” To Have and Have Not

-What manner of man is it I’ve married (O‘Hara)!? A better one than I think you know, Mary Kate: “Hugh Forbes (Charles Fitzsimmons),“ The Quiet Man (1952)

-There’ll be no bolts or locks between us Mary Kate, except those in your little mercenary heart: “Sean Thornton (John Wayne),” The Quiet Man

-As only an American would think of emerald green! “Elizabeth Playfair (Eileen Crowe),” The Quiet Man (Sean’s new cottage)

-By the way, don’t underestimate Danaher, he’s got a tremendous right and jaw of granite: “Rev. Cyril Playfair (Arthur Shields),” The Quiet Man (persuading)

-Will you join me in a glass of…no…you’ll be in training now, of course: “Playfair (Shields),” The Quiet Man (converted)

-No, no, you just said you loved her. There’s some difference between lovin’ and likin.’ When I married Jennie’s mother, I-I didn’t love her, I liked her, I liked her alot. I liked Martha for at least three years after we were married and then one day it just dawned on me I loved her. I still do…still do. You see, Sam, when you love a woman without likin’ her, the night can be long and cold, and contempt comes up with the sun: “Charlie Anderson (Jim Stewart),” Shenandoah (1965)

-(Test bout) I won’t hurt you…I don’t think I’ll even hit you: “Harry Watson (Rhys Williams),” Gentleman Jim (1942 (test)

-Being a good loser is hard but being a good winner is even harder: John L. Sullivan (Ward Bond, handing first belt dated 7.4.1887 to new champion, James J. Corbett), Gentleman Jim (1942)

-Right or wrong, the brand sticks: “Shane (Alan Ladd),” Shane (1953)

-Shane, there’s too many!: “Joey (Brandon deWilde),” Shane (1953)

-♫ Some enchanted evening, you will see a strangeeeeeer ♫: “Nobody Falfa (Harrison Ford),” American Graffiti (1973)

-Rome wudn’t burnt in a day: “Joe (Bo Hopkins),” American Graffiti (1973)

-Why don’t you kiss my sister’s black cat’s ass: “Clarence ‘Crazy’ Lee (Bo Hopkins),” The Wild Bunch (1968)

-Wunden mein herz mit einer monotonen mattigkeit (Wounds my heart with a monotonous languor): German officer, The Longest Day (1962)

-You see, Mr. Gittes (Nicholson), most people never have to face the fact that at the right time and the right place they’re capable of anything: “Noah Cross (John Huston),” Chinatown (1974).

-Course I’m respectable. I’m old. Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough: “Noah Cross (Huston), Chinatown (1974)

-I hope you don’t mind. I believe they should be served with the head (“Cross (John Huston)”). Fine, just as long as you don’t serve chicken that way: “Jake Gittes (Jack Nicholson),” Chinatown

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Thelma Ritter (1902-69)

-That must be your friend over there. They didn’t leave much of him (Evans). Must have taken out his heart, eh?: “Bubba (Geoff Parry),” Mad Max (1979)

-When it’s time to shoot, shoot, don’t talk: “Tuco (Eli Wallach),” The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

-There are two kinds of people in this world, Tuco, those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig: “Blondie (Eastwood),” The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

-You’re (Eastwood) the son of a 1000 fathers, all of them bastards, too!: “Tuco (Wallach),” The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

-How’s that calf ever gonna’ dry off if she keeps licking her?: “Arnold (Butch Jenkins),” Our Vines Have Tender Grapes (1945)

-I’m five (Jenkins). Oh!: “Viola Johnson (Frances Gifford),” Our Vines Have Tender Grapes (1945, most adorable ‘Oh’ in movie history)

-You’re capable of such beautiful dreams and horrible nightmares: Vegan as dad of “Ellie Arroway (David Morse),” Contact (1997)

-In the few hours we had together we loved a lifetime’s worth: “Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton),” The Terminator (1984)

-I’ll be back: “T-800 Model 101 cybernetic android (Arnold Schwarzenegger),” Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991 (in friendship v, 1984 bad guy))

-There is no fate but what we make: the younger “John Connor (Ed Furlong),” Terminator 2: Judgment Day

-Phoebe, I call myself Phoebe (Bates)! And so you should: “Addison DeWitt (George Sanders),” All About Eve (1950) (sarcasm)

-It’s time the piano learned it didn’t write the concerto!: “Lloyd Richards (Hugh Marlowe),” All About Eve

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-Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy nite!: “Margo Channing (Bette Davis),” All About Eve

-Some folks say things never die, they just go on livin’ in a different way: “Will (Dan) (George Montgomery),” Gun Duel In Durango (1957)

-♫ Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies, farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain ♫: “Quint (Robert Shaw), Jaws (1975)

-Here lies the body of Mary Lee, died at the age of a hundred and three, for 15 yrs she kept her virginity, not a bad record in this vicinity: “Quint (Shaw), Jaws

-Know the thing about a shark he’s got…lifeless eyes, black eyes like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya,‘ doesn’t seem to be livin,’ until he bites ya,’ and those black eyes roll over white and then…aw then you hear that terrible high pitched screamin,’ the ocean turns red in spite of all the poundin’ and hollerin’ and they all come in and they…rip ya’ to pieces: “Quint (Shaw), Jaws

-I used to be afraid of the water (“Brody”). I can’t imagine why: “Hooper,” Jaws

-Do you think this was all the work of little Don Segretti? “Deep Throat (Hal Holbrook),” All The President’s Men (1976)

-I screwed up (revealing LBJ plan to replace FBI’s J. Edgar Hoover), but I wasn’t wrong: Bradlee (Jason Robards), All the President’s Men

-I have a wife, family, dog and a cat!: Clawson voice, All The President’s Men

-You know the results of the latest Gallup Poll? Half the country never even heard of the word Watergate. Nobody gives a shit. You guys are probably pretty tired, right? Well, you should be. Go on home, get a nice hot bath, rest up, 15 minutes. Then get your asses back in gear. We’re under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. Nothing’s riding on this except the, uh, first amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. Not that any of that matters, but if you guys fuck up again, I’m going to get mad: Ben Bradlee (Jason Robards), All the President’s Men

-Death ends a life, but it doesn’t end the relationship which struggles on in the survivors mind towards some resolution which it may never find: “Gene Garrison (Gene Hackman),” I Never Sang to My Father (1970)

-For over a thousand years Roman conquerors returning from the wars enjoyed the honor of a tumultuous parade. In the procession came trumpeters, musicians and strange animals from conquered territories, together with carts laden with treasure and captured armaments. The conquerors rode in a triumphal chariot, the dazed prisoners walking in chains before him. Sometimes his children robed in white stood with him in the chariot or rode the trace horses. A slave stood behind the conqueror holding a golden crown and whispering a warning that all glory is fleeting: General George S. Patton (George C. Scott), Patton (1970)

-I have alot of faults, Brad, but ingratitude isn’t one of ‘em. I owe you alot. Hell, I know I’m a prima donna. I admit it. What I can’t stand about Monty is, he won’t admit it: General Patton (Scott), Patton

-Who said anything about Palermo (Gen.Patton)? I can read a map! General Omar Bradley (Karl Malden), Patton

-What son of bitch (Bradley) is in charge of this operation (G.I.)!? I don’t know but they aughta’ hang him: Omar Bradley (Malden), Patton

-Gen. Alexander says you are not to take Palermo (staffer). Ask him if he wants me to give it back: George Patton (Scott), Patton

-You’re right, Dick, the world grew up. Hell of a shame…god how I hate the 20th century: George Patton (Scott), Patton

-You (Guinness)? Youuuuuuu: “Commander Shears (William Holden),” The Bridge On the River Kwai (1957)

-Go Bears!: Hooker #2 (Melissa Peterman), Fargo (1996) (context)

-Thanks a bunch!: “Chief Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand),” Fargo

-Being crazy about a woman (Burnstyn) like her was always the right thing to do: “Sam the Lion (Ben Johnson),” The Last Picture Show (1971)

-Her and her husband was…young and miserable with one another like so many young married folks are: “Sam (Johnson),” The Last Picture Show

-Sonny, your food’s gettin’ cold: “Sam (Ben),” The Last Picture Show (mercy)

-We play the game, fate controls the cards: “Grandpere (A.Hale),” Algiers (38)

-Who ever heard of starting a war in December!: “Violet Price (Spring Byington),” The Enchanted Cottage (1945)

-Get up, Spartacus, you Thracian dog! Roman legion (?), Spartacus (1960)

-You might even be intelligent..dangerous for a slave: “Marcellus,” Spartacus

-Most Romans love her (the City) as their mother but Crassus (Olivier) dreams of marrying the old girl: “Gracchus (Charles Laughton),” Spartacus

-It would take a great woman to get Crassus to fall out of love with himself: “Gracchus (Laughton), Spartacus

-When a free man dies he loses the pleasure of life. A slave loses his pain. Death is the only freedom a slave knows. That’s why he’s not afraid of it: Spartacus (Kirk Douglas),” Spartacus

-You’ve already been made a fool (Dall), let’s not add the trappings of a clown: Crassus (Laurence Olivier), Spartacus

-I am Spartacus!: “Antoninus et al (Tony Curtis et al),” Spartacus

-Let us drink to a new world of gods and monsters!: “Dr. Pretorius (Ernest Thesiger),” Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Hattie McDaniel (1895-52)

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-It was a glorious time. The wise guys were all over the place. It was before Appalachia: “Henry Hill (Ray Liotta), Good Fellas

-Now go home and get your fuckin’ shine-box (to “Tommy”)!: “Billy Batts (Frank Vincent),” Good Fellas (1990)

-I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you, I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how, how am I funny?: “Tommy (Joe Pesci),” Good Fellas

-If there is any doubt, there is no doubt: “Sam (Robert De Niro),” Ronin (1998)

-What we have here is…a failure…to communicate: “Captain (Strother Martin),” Cool Hand Luke (1967)

-Stay down, your beat!: “Dragline (G.Kennedy),” Cool Hand Luke (empathy)

-There’s gonna’ be a whole lotta’ world shaking going on, Luke. We’ll send ya’ a postcard: “Dragline (Kennedy),” Cool Hand Luke

-Sometimes nothin’ can be a real cool hand: “Luke (Newman),” Cool Hand Luke

-What, are you calling me a liar (Dragline)? No, just that you have a common and likable tendency towards exaggeration: “Society (J.D. Cannon),” Cool Hand Luke

-Nobody can eat 50 eggs: “Society (J.D. Cannon),” Cool Hand Luke (stubborn)

-♫ As he started to go I started to know how it feels when the universe reels ♫: “Esther Smith (Judy Garland),” Meet Me In St. Louis (1944)

-♫ Soooo, have yourself a merry little Christ..mas…nooooooooooooooow ♫: “Esther (Garland),” Meet Me in St. Louis

-You shouldn’t kiss a girl when you’re wearing that gun, leaves a bruise: “Helen (Velma) (Claire Trevor),” Murder My Sweet (1944)

-Hey, you done good, buddy boy (Smith). Thanks, Daddy-Oh!: “Anybody’s (Susan Oakes),“ West Side Story (1961)

-Huh?: ”Del Griffith (John Candy),” Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987) (his surprise after plowing into a bad motel and just before burn-rubber getaway)

-We have about as good a chance of playing pick-up-sticks with our butt-cracks as we do getting a flight out of here tonite: “Del Griffith (John Candy),” Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)

-Love is not a big enough word (for my wife): “Del Griffith (John Candy),” Planes, Trains and Automobiles

-Daddy! “Marti Page (O. Burnette),” Planes, Trains and Automobiles (home)

-Those aren’t pillows! “Neal (Steve Martin),” Planes, Trains and Automobiles

-You don’t need to be crazy to do this but it doesn’t hurt: “Buck Kennedy (Buck Jones) (roping routine),“ Hollywood Round-Up (1935 (context))

-So shines a good deed in a weary world (de Vere): “Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder),” Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

-I aughta’ take this pencil and draw a circle around you: “Billie (Judy Holliday),” Born Yesterday (1950)

-I’ve never been insured in my life. I don’t believe in it. There’s no risk: “Lewis Medlock (Burt Reynolds).” Deliverance (1972)

-Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything: “Lewis Medlock (Burt Reynolds),” Deliverance

-This corn is special, isn’t it?: “Bobby Trippe (Ned Beatty),” Deliverance (to break the mood (“Ed”) at the dinner table)

-Why do you wanta’ go messin’ with that river (Seamon Glass)? Because it’s there!: “Lewis (Reynolds),“ Deliverance

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Frank Morgan (1890-49)

-Well, we’re back (gasp) in the car again (Mazzello). Well, at least you’re out of the tree: “Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill),” Jurassic Park (1993)

-They remember: “Robert Muldoon (Bob Peck),” Jurassic Park

-What are you rebelling against, Johnny ((Maley)? What do ya’ got?: “Johnny (Marlon Brando),” The Wild One (1953)

-I’m gonna’ go down there (pier) and get my rights: “Terry Malloy (Marlon Brando),” On the Waterfront (1956)

-I coulda’ been contender. I coulda’ been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am: “Terry (Brando),” On the Waterfront

-Then shut your mouth…before your guts run out: “Crunch (Frank Mazzola),“ Rebel Without a Cause (1955)

-And what about you (Wood)? Are you always at ringside?: “Jim ‘Jamie’ Stark (James Dean),” Rebel Without a Cause

-Welcome to the wonderful world of pussy, Meadows: “Signalman 1st Class ‘Badass’ Budusky (Jack Nicholson),“ The Last Detail (1973)

-Madam, please!: “Andrew Larkin (Van Johnson),” In the Good Old Summertime (1949, to repel anymore wind-aided brush-ups from “Veronica”)

-What am I, a criminal, a murder (Granger)? You might be if you keep driving through town at 85 miles per hour: “Cindy (Jane Powell), Small Town Girl (53)

-You want a player who won’t fight back? I want a ball-player who’s got the guts to not fight back: Rickey (Minor Watson), The Jackie Robinson Story (1950)

-30,000 (“Baptista (Kaszner)” offer to marry his daughter)! Fatheeeeeer!: “Petruchio (Howard Keel),” Kiss Me Kate (53) (deal struck)

-Well!? I wont to be alone: “Grusinskaya (Greta Garbo),” Grand Hotel (1932)

-Grand Hotel, always the same, people come, people go, nothing ever happens: “Dr. Otternschlag (Lewis Stone), Grand Hotel

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-Dyin,’ that’s easy, choosin’ a way to live, that’s the hard part: “Ben Vandergroat (Robert Ryan),” The Naked Spur (1953)

-How perfectly delightful it is to be sure.” Robert Crumb, Crumb (1994)

-Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast: “Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong),” King Kong (1933)

-Fortune is ally to the brave: “Zeus (Laurence Olivier),” Clash of the Titans (1981)

-What was his business (cop)? He used to be a big-shot: “Panama Smith (Gladys George),” The Roaring Twenties (1939)

-They aughta’ put you in mass production: “Fred (Dana Andrews),” The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) (to Theresa Wright)

-It’s funny, the things we love best are either illegal, immoral or make us fat: “Terry McKay (Irene Dunne),” Love Affair (1939)

-Who’s this (#2 on phone)? It’s me..it’s you..it’s us (#1)! Hold on a second (#2). Great, now I can’t even talk to myself: “’Steve (Keaton),’” Multiplicity (96)

-Sad state of affairs when a man has to indulge his vices by proxy: “General Sternwood (C. Waldron),” The Big Sleep

-You’re the only one I’ve met who didn’t claim to know everything in the whole world: “Collister (Beeson Carroll),” Bound for Glory (1976)

-He’s (workin’ folk) afraid to smile ‘cause somebody’s gonna’ swipe his teeth out of his mouth: Woodrow Wilson Guthrie (David Carradine), Bound for Glory

-She knows! Anne Sullivan (Anne Bancroft), The Miracle Worker (1962 (With Anne’s help, blind – deaf girl Helen Keller has an epiphany)

-I’m not gonna’ live by their rules, anymore!: “Phil Connor (Bill Murray),” Groundhog Day (1993 (driving car on train-tracks))

-Sextus, you once said ‘how’ to fight an idea…with another idea: “Messala (Stephen Boyd),” Ben Hur (1959)

-Bravely stated: “Sheik Ilderim (Hugh Griffith),” Ben-Hur (1959 (sarcasm)

-The cheaper the crook (Cook) the gaudier the patter: “Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-Why shouldn’t you (guess) if you’ve nothing to conceal (D.A. (J.Hamilton))? Everybody has something to conceal: “Spade (Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-You have always, I must say, a smooth explanation ready (Lorre). What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?: “Sam (Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-You are a liar (Bogart). I am. I’ve always been a liar (Astor). Well don’t, don’t brag about it. Was there any truth at all in that yarn? Some. Not very much: “Brigid O’Shaughnessy (Mary Astor),” The Maltese Falcon

-Suppose I wouldn’t tell you anything at all. What would you do, something wild and unpredictable (Astor)? Maybe: “Sam (Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-What is it (Ward Bond)? The a…stuff that dreams are made of: “Sam Spade (Bogart),” The Maltese Falcon

-I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes. You would be amazed, alot of shopping malls…DON’T repeat that!: “Megan (McCarthy),” Bridesmaids (’11)

-Temptation resisted is the truest measure of character: “Louis Dega (Dustin Hoffman),” Papillion (1973)

-I know, I know, feed ‘em, fly ‘em, then forget ‘em: “Ace Boreman (William Gargan),” Women in the Wind (1939)

-Is there a Northwest passage (Hussey)? Who knows. It’s always a man’s dream to find a short route to his heart’s desire: “Langdon Towne (Robert Young),” Northwest Passage (1940)

-Do you wanta’ play with us? Okay. Say ‘ello to my l’il friend!: “Tony Montana (Al Pacino),” Scarface (1983) (then, rat-a-tat-tat)

-I’m gonna’ make him (John Marley (“Director Jack Woltz”)) an offer he can’t refuse: “Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando),” The Godfather (1972)

–Ohhhh! It damn hurts (Fowler snuffing a match)! Certainly it hurts (O‘Toole). Well what’s the trick then? The trick, William Potter is not minding that it hurts: T.E. Lawrence (Peter O‘Toole), Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

-Aqaba! T.E. Lawrence (O’Toole), Lawrence of Arabia (it begins)

-Nothing is written: T.E. Lawrence (O‘Toole), Lawrence of Arabia

-He (Lawrence) was a scholar, a poet and a mighty warrior. He was also the most shameless exhibitionist since Barnum & Bailey: “Jackson Bentley (Arthur Kennedy),” Lawrence of Arabia

-But the Krell forgot one thing: Monsters, John (Neilson), monsters from the Id: “Lt. “Doc” Ostrow (Warren Stevens),” Forbidden Planet (1956)

-It is through error that man tries and rises. It is through tragedy he learns. All the roads of learning begin in darkness and go out into the light…Hippocrates of Cos: The Body Snatcher (epilogue) (1945)

-J’adore le passé. C’est beaucoup plus pacifique que le présent (I adore the past. It’s so much more peaceful than the present): “Meneur de Jeu (“Game Master”) (Anton Walbrook),” La Ronde (1950)

-♫ Gone again, skip to my Lou, gone again, skip to my Lou, gone again, skip to my Lou, skip to my Lou my Darling ♫: “Charlie (Ken Curtis),” The Searchers (1956)

-I too believe that everyone should have a chance at a breath-taking piece of folly, once in his life: “Mrs. Brown (Ann Revere),” National Velvet (1945)

-What’s the meaning of goodness if there isn’t a little badness to overcome?: “Mrs. Brown (Ann Revere), National Velvet

-So many currents in such a little puddle: “Mr. Brown (Crisp),” National Velvet

-That’ll be a dispute to the end of time, Mr. Brown, whether it’s better to do the right thing for the wrong reason or the wrong thing for the right reason: “Mrs. Brown (Ann Revere),” National Velvet

-Who’s been in my box (Velvet)? Me (Donald). ‘I (Edwina correcting).’ You, too? “Donald Brown (Jackie Jenkins), National Velvet

-I’ll have a dubonnet with a twist (in the old Russian Tea Room (NYC)): “Michael Dorsey / Dorothy Michaels (Dustin Hoffman),” Tootsie (1982)

-I need a $1000 (Hoffman). For what (Pollock)!? For what! For what!: “Michael (Dorothy) (Hoffman),” Tootsie

-Time for courage: “Sydney Carton (Ronald Colman),” A Tale of Two Cities (1935) (pre-guillotine, comforts young “seamstress (Isabel Jewells)”)

-Makes the crown jewels in the Tower of London look like costume jewelry: “Peachy Carnehan (Peter O’Toole),” The Man Who Would Be King (1975)

-There hasn’t been a kiss like that since the beginning of time: “Peter Standish (Leslie Howard),“ Berkeley Square (1933)

-Oh, only which three books would you (Lloyd) have taken?: “David Filby (Alan Young),” The Time Machine (1960, at close)

-Max, how do you feel about getting old? I always feel like I’m starting over: “Jackie Brown (Pam Greer),” Jackie Brown (1997)

-Oh, how I love you, love you, love you, love you (to Garner)!: “Karen Wright (Audrey Hepburn),” The Children’s Hour (1961)

-Move your bloomin’ ass!: “Eliza (Audrey Hepburn),“ My Fair Lady (1964)

-Why don’t you sing a song (Rooney)? How do you know I can sing (Garland)? You sing when you walk, when you talk. Why your eyes, why they’re singing right now: “Tommy Williams (Mickey Rooney),” Babes on Broadway (1941)

-I’m watching you! “Jack Byrnes (Robert Di Nero (father) with two-fingered gesture to Ben Stiller),” Meet the Parents (2000)

-Nothing so revolting to the young as the sight of their elders at play: “Rupert Venneker (Peter Ustinov),” The Sundowners (1960)

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-If it ain’t Wham, it ain’t ham!: “Gussie (Louise Beavers),” Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)

-Mrs. Blandings little flower sink!: “Jim Blandings (Cary Grant),” Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (thoroughly frustrated)

-I do not care that you are not Chapel. I am with you! “Mr. Jones (Rhys Williams),” The Corn is Green (1945)

-I have never talked to a man for more than five minutes without wanting to box his ears: “Miss Lilly Moffat (Bette Davis),” The Corn Is Green

-If you do I shall strike you (“Bessie”) so hard I shall probably kill you: “Miss Moffat (Bette Davis),” The Corn is Green (young tart plays risky game)

-What happened (Dunnock)? We’ve met the Squire (Bruce) and he is ours! In ten minutes I have given the Squire the impression that he spends his whole time posturing genius in the illiterates. How? By soft soap and courtesy: “Lily Moffat (Bette Davis),” The Corn Is Green

-One shot: “Michael Vronsky (Robert De Niro),” The Deer Hunter (1978)

-You know we’re always fascinated when we find leg-irons with no legs in ‘em: “Deputy U.S. Marshal Samuel Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones),” The Fugitive (1993)

-Newman (Gerard)? Yes (Wood)? What are you doing? Thinking. Well think me up a cup of coffee and a doughnut with some of those sprinkles on ’em! “Deputy Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones),” The Fugitive

-Can you hear me now? Yes (Wood). I don’t bargain: “Gerard,” The Fugitive

-They killed my wife (Ford). I know Richard, I know: “Gerard,” The Fugitive

-I thought you didn’t care (Harrison Ford)? I don’t. Don’t tell anybody: “Deputy Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones),” The Fugitive

-What I want from each and every one of you is a hard target search in every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive’s name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him!: “Gerard (Jones),” The Fugitive

-Look at this. We’re eatin’ oranges and makin’ IDs: “Gerard (Jones),” The Fugitive

-If they can dye the river green today, why can’t they dye it blue the other 364 days of the year?: “U.S. Marshal Robert Biggs (Daniel Roebuck),” The Fugitive

-And not only did they all come from healthy livers, they all came from the same liver (Lynch). Kathy you beauty: “Dr. Kimble (Harrison Ford),” The Fugitive

-Don’t worry, we’ll find her (Mom) for you. What are you, a football player, baseball player? Football (Robinson). Hey Doctor, they sent this one from downstairs. Get this one into Room Four, stat (Bruce)! Bye-bye, Joel: “Dr. Richard Kimble (Ford),” The Fugitive

-Richard!: “Gerard (Jones),” The Fugitive (spots RK descending City stairway)

-Hi!: Registration-table greeter girl (?), The Fugitive (flashback)

-Officer, officer, there’s a man in a blue coat waving a gun and screaming…at a woman: “Dr. Kimble (Ford),” The Fugitive (throwing off the cops)

-Frederick Sykes, 45, ex-cop and quite the clothshorse: “U.S. Marshal Erin Poole (L. Scott Caldwell),” The Fugitive

-Almost anything that came out of the mouth of Agnes Moorehead (1900-74)

-Wait a minute. I played a dirty trick on you (Garland). You better know, then you won’t feel so bad. When I offered to give you that song…I really didn’t mean it. I was playing you for a sap. I wanted to fix it so you’d give me a chance to try out with you. And all that sob stuff about me being ashamed of myself, that was just a bid for sympathy. I wasn’t ashamed, I thought I was being pretty cute. I’m ashamed now though. And this time, when I say I’m a heel, well, I’m not kidding: “Harry Palmer (Gene Kelly),” For Me and My Gal (1942)

-Is that alright with you (McNally)? You bet it’s alright!: “Jo Hayden (Judy Garland),” For Me and My Gal

-Hello, America, hang on to your lights, they’re the only lights left in the world!: “Huntley Haverstock (Joel McCrea),” Foreign Correspondent (1940)

-It is a crush, isn’t it (shelter)?: “Myra (Vivien Leigh),” Waterloo Bridge (1940)

-Myra’s just a sweet child, you can see that, can’t you (Field)? I can see that: “Captain Roy Cronin (Robert Taylor),” Waterloo Bridge

-You’re rather matter-of-fact (“Roy (Robert Taylor)”). And you’re a romantic: “Myra (Vivian Leigh),” Waterloo Bridge

-Here, take this (Leigh). You’re lucky charm (Taylor)!?: “Roy (Taylor),” Waterloo Bridge (+ music = most sentimental)

-War is no excuse for indecorum: “Madame (Ouspenskaya),” Waterloo Bridge

-The worst ain’t so bad when it finally happens: “Bob Curtin (Tim Holt),” The Treasure of Sierra Madre (1948)

-That’s Africa for you, one man dead, two beasts killed and no one the better for it: “Trader Horn (Harry Carey),” Trader Horn (1931)

-The lions let the jackal join in the kill (because) the jackal helps lead the lions to water: “Horn (Carey),” Trader Horn

-I don’t know why they named it after Thompson (gazelle). I showed him his first. Thompson was one of those guys who liked to carve his name into trees: “Aloysius ‘Trader’ Horn (Harry Carey),” Trader Horn

-(Africa) Either you’re killing someone to eat ‘em or trying to keep someone from killing you: “Trader (Carey),” Trader Horn

-One-she (one more (Sioux)): “Wind In His Hair (Rodney Grant),” Dances With Wolves (1990, warrior urges “Lt. Dunbar” to sit for one more story)

-This one’s for your shirts (Frankenstein), this other’s just for socks and poo-poo undies: “Elizabeth (Madeline Kahn),” Young Frankenstein (1974)

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-Well, uh, this Delores, she, uh, she’s real proud of what nature done for her, you know? Anyway, she asks me, she says, uh, ‘Don’t you think I got classy build?’ And I say, ‘Sure.’ And so she starts to show me, but I didn’t do nothin’ wrong. I just didn’t stop her form tryin’ to prove her point: “Harvey (Scott Wilson), In the Heat of the Night (1967, speaking to “Tibbs” in jail cell)

-I’ve had it up to here (hand to throat) with your town (Poitier)! Boy, it would give me a world of satisfaction to horsewhip you, Virgil (Steiger)! My father used to say that (laughing), even did, once or twice (Poitier). Yeah, well, not enough to suit me!: “Chief Gillespie (Rod Steiger),” In the Heat of the Night (1967)

-I’m tellin’ you that you’re gonna’ stay. You’ll stay here if I have to have your chief remind you what he told you to do. But I don’t think I have to do that, you see? No. Because you’re so damned smart. You’re smarter than any white man. You’re just gonna’ stay here and show us all. You could never live with yourself unless you could put us all to shame. You wanta’ know something, Virgil? I don’t think that you could let an opportunity like that pass by: “Chief Gillespie (Rod Steiger),” In the Heat of the Night

-I can pull that fat-cat down. I can bring him right off this hill (Poitier)! Oh boy, man, you’re just like the rest of us? “Chief (Steiger),” In the Heat of the Night

-Thank you. Bye bye (Steiger). Bye (Poitier). Virgil? You take care now, ya’ hear (Steiger)? Yeah (Poitier (smile)): In the Heat of the Night (progress)

-With experience it seems possible to control the flow of the paint to a great extent. And I don’t use, I don’t use the accident because I deny the accident: Jackson Pollock (Ed Harris), Pollock (2000)

-Modern art, to me is nothing more than the expression of the contemporary aims of the age that we’re living in: Jackson Pollock (Ed Harris), Pollock

-There are no stars (in rugby). That’s soccer: “Frank Machin (Richard Harris),” This Sporting Life (1963)

-Well, don’t bother Sefton. I don’t like you. I never did and I never will (Graves)! Alot of people say that and the first thing you know, they get married: “Sgt. J.J.Sefton (William Holden),” Stalag 17 (1953)

-Ach soooo: “Sefton (Holden),” Stalag 17 (rat found)

-Welcome to Sherwood, me Lady! ”Sir Robin of Locksley (Errol Flynn),” The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

-The Internal Affairs people were here hours ago. Two college educated little pricks! Acted like they was born & breed in Ohio: “Mrs. Ritter (Geraldine Page),” The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984)

-Blood? we’re not fucking blood, we’re third cousins (Rourke). With Italians, it’s like twin brothers with the Irish: “Barney” the safe-cracker (Ken McMillan), The Pope of Greenwich Village

-You got a sense of honor, I can smell it in ya!’ “Barney” the safecracker (Ken McMillan),” The Pope of Greenwich Village

-I’m not just an entertainer, I’m an influence, wielder of opinion, a force: “Larry ‘Lonesome’ Rhodes (Andy Griffith),” A Face In the Crowd (1957)

-They’re trained-seals (audience). Throw ‘em a dead fish and watch ‘em flap their flippers: “Lonesome (Griffith),” A Face In the Crowd

-Wait’ll I get to California! Gonna’ reach up and pick me an orange whenever I want it, or grapes. That there’s somethin’ I ain’t never had enough of! Gonna’ get me a whole bunch a grapes off a bush and I’m gonna’ squash ’em all over my face and just let the juice drain down offa’ my chin (Grapewin). Pa-raise the Lord for victory (Tilbury)! Maybe I get me a whole washtub fulla’ them grapes and just sit in ’em and scrooge around till they was gone!: “Grampa Joad (Charlie Grapewin),” The Grapes of Wrath (1940)

-Well, maybe it’s like Casy says, a fella’ ain’t got a soul of his own, but only a piece of a big soul, the one big soul that belongs to everybody, and then…Then what, Tom (Darwell)? Then it don’t matter. Then I’ll be all around in the dark. I’ll be everywhere, wherever you look. Wherever there’s a fight so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, I’ll be there. I’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re mad and I’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re hungry and they know supper’s ready. And when our people eat the stuff they raise and live in the houses they build, why, I’ll be there too: “Tom Joad (Henry Fonda),” The Grapes of Wrath

-A woman can change better than a man can. A man lives in jerks. A baby’s born or then somebody dies, that’s a jerk. He gets a farm or loses one, and that’s a jerk. With a woman it’s all in one flow, like a stream, like little eddies, little waterfalls, but the river, it goes right on. Woman looks at it like that: “Ma Joad (Jane Darwell),” The Grapes of Wrath

-Maybe, but we’ve sure takin’ a beatin (Simpson). I know. Maybe that makes us tough. Rich fellas come up and they die, and their kids ain’t no good, and they die out. But we keep a-comin’. We’re the people that live. Can’t nobody wipe us out. Can’t nobody lick us. We’ll go on forever, Pa. We’re the people: “Ma Joad (Darwell),” The Grapes of Wrath

-Where to now (Faye)? Home: “Eric Stanton (Dana Andrews),” Fallen Angel (1945) (closing line – love realized)

-You (Fonda) look like the last grave over near the willow: “Jean Harrington (Barbara Stanwyck),” The Lady Eve (1941)

-Plastics (to “Ben”): “Mr. McGuire (Walter Brooke),” The Graduate (1969)

-Can I have it (Curtis)? Nooooo, an officer’d take from you at Ft Benson. This gun’s too good for an officer: “Sgt. Wilkes (Jay Flippen),” Winchester ‘73 (1950)

-Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma (banging pot)! “Rubrick (Steve Martin),” Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)

-Tranella speaks two languages, Italian and Brooklyn: Narrator on “Private Tranella (Richard Benedict),” A Walk In the Sun (1945)

-Don’t be a jerk all your life, take a day off: “Vic Dakin (Burton),” Villain (1971)

-Ahh, youth is wasted on the wrong people!: T-shirted man on porch (‘Why don’t you kiss her?!’) (Dick Elliott), It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

-Smack (on Geoffrey Lewis’ face)! Don’t ever point a gun at me! Understand?! Not even a twig (Eastwood)! Got it! You come from the hitters: “Goody (Geoffrey Lewis),” Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974)

-Why’d they move it (Bridges (old school house with the hidden loot)? History, history, damn it: “Thunderbolt (Clint Eastwood),” Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

-I don’t think of us as criminals, you know? I feel we accomplished something. A good job. I feel proud of myself, man. I feel like a hero: “Lightfoot (Jeff Bridges),” Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

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Steven Keys
Photo credit: Bonnie&Clyde, wc.cca, A.Koehne; M.Shearer, wc, 10.11.54, M.Feinstein; S.Tracy-E.Bartholomew, CC, 1937, MGM; J.Crawford, MGM, TLMC, 1937; M.Gandhi, wc, pre-1942; B.Davis, AllAboutEve, 1950; H.McDaniel, wc, 1939; R.Ryan-J.Leigh, MGM, wc, 1953; C.Grant-M.Loy, RKO, 3.28.45, wc; R.Steiger, wc, TUW, 1957; popcorn, wc, T.Bresson, 6.15.16
Posted: 2.16.17 @ 2:06pm EST; update 4.23; Copyright © 2017